Anti-romantic Academic

I miss the girl I used to be. The one who could be happy by herself. Who was happy with her achievements and with her mistakes. Who could find joy in the smallest things such as a grocery store run or walking back home. The one who felt like she could do anything once she put her mind to it. Now I’m only happy when I am around certain people. I go home because I am tired, not because I find comfort in it. Groceries are a necessity, achievements feel mediocre and she hates herself with each passing day. I look at my old photos and I miss the girl I used to be.

and if we could all just confess to the ones we love, instead of giving all these cryptic messages, don’t you think the world would be a better place?

I saw a little girl run and hug her friend and I thought how precious young friendships are. Then my mother showed me a picture of me hugging my friend when we were four and it made me realise the innocence of children. As we grow older we view friendships as more of a partnership on how one can benefit from the other. This is why we hold on to friendships from our childhood or high school even when we’ve gone our separate ways because these friendships were based on genuinely wanting to understand each other.

when people go to museums we often fail to just live in the moment and enjoy artistry around us. instead we overanalyse the settings, think too much and end up under appreciating things. laugh, joke, sit down and just take it all in. artists made these not for you to analyse but so you could be mesmerised and fall in love with their art. 

Sometimes it’s the little things in life. Like adding a song to your playlist for your work friend because they mentioned they like the artist; or thinking about getting those freshly baked muffins from that one bakery cuz your little sister only likes those particular ones, or seeing a pair of socks with your partners favourite game characters on it and getting it for them.

Have you ever thought how many people we might have inspired, but will never know about it because they’re strangers. Maybe a nurse that took care of a young patient inspired them to become a nurse. A spokesperson inspired a boy to become more confident. We might never know these people, but to them we will always be a reason as to why they are where they are.

It’s just so crazy to think that humans just figured to make certain sounds with their voices and we all decided to make it a language, and what’s even more amazing is how we have so many languages derived from so many different types of sounds we can make.

My next character development arc is gonna be my villain arc.

Darcy this and Darcy that, bruh I want myself a Lizzy Bennet; sassy, loves books, will not hesitate to shoot you down, literally and figuratively,probably loves to stay at home.

It’s the most simplest questions that are so hard to answer, questions like ‘ Are you happy?’ or ‘ How are you feeling today?’ because these are the questions that are rarely answered truthfully.

Sometimes heartbreak isn’t experienced just from losing a lover; sometimes it’s at 3 in the morning and you miss your best friend that you don’t talk to anymore, sometimes it’s when you see a picture of a place you used to live in but you’re very far from it now, sometimes it’s from the stories and poems you read and hear about or when you miss the taste of a home-cooked meal. The human heart is so strong yet so fragile because although it is made of muscle we see and hear and listen and feel and love a bit too much about everything.

Sometimes I read so I don’t have to be stuck inside my mind with my thoughts, sometimes I read when I feel burnt out and feel like giving up and letting go of everything, sometimes I read when I feel like the world is against me and there’s no one I can rely on so I escape to a different world instead. But mostly I read because of the stories I can relate to, to the happiness, sadness, and struggles of people who exist only on paper and in my imagination.

You know that feeling when you’re in your room and you have your earphones one and you’re just dancing to a song. Or that feeling when taking late night walks or talking with friends for hours and not realising how time went by so quickly? It’s in these times that I fall a little bit in love with life, a little bit out of reality and makes everything a bit better.