I Have Missed So Much

Austyn: Daddy had a firm hand but he rarely raised it at us kids and you knew if he did, he meant it. And he'd missed his shot with Lan, he wasn't gonna miss it with me. And it worked out. But, yeah, I just want him to live and be his own person. I know it's what his dads would have wanted.

Austyn: Awesome. Maybe I can pick Beth up when I pick up Case and Remy, and you can just come over after your show on Friday and spend the night and we can get an early start on Saturday?

Austyn: And yes, that IS 90% an excuse to get you into my bed.

Shelby: Mom wasn't afraid to raise her hand- if dad wasn't around. He was very much against strong hands.

Shelby: Sounds perfect.

Austyn: Like dogs barking. And Remy was definitely a chihuahua today...

Austyn: I don't know. I want him to be able to live, to be a teenager. His siblings aren't his responsibility, they're mine. I don't know if any of us know how to express shit, but Remy definitely doesn't.

Austyn: I was some kinda faded or I was asleep, at his age. Which is also why daddy threatened to disown me not even two years later, but y'know... I plan to. I think I've found a common ground, so we'll see if that helps and I told him, he can't do any worse than me at his age. I'm not gonna judge if he gets mixed up with shit.

Austyn: I know, babe. And I appreciate it. Speaking of, we were thinking of taking a trip to the mall next Saturday, if you and Beth would like to join us?

Shelby: Much to my mother's dismay, her meddling only made me rebel more. I think letting him live his life is a good idea.

OK, I can’t be the only one that’s spent most of today dancing to Sexy Dirty Love, right?

So, so, so proud of my baby @blessyourheartdharps​ all her hard work is paying off and people will finally know what I’ve always known, and that is that she’s incredible! I’m so excited for her album and I can’t wait for the day I get to take our son to see his Mommy do what she does best, but maybe I’ll bring some earplugs for this song… 

Not the only one, very catchy- 

I know I’ve been very much on the quiet side of things but I promise you, very soon, things are going to get a little bit louder. For now though, here’s a little friendly advice, if there’s something in life that you want, don’t let go. 

Sound advice, miss. Speaking of sound advice, it’s time we had a mother/daughter day. Just us, we have a few things to catch up on.

As always, our guest spot artists collab with each other to decide this guest spots charity. In honour of Ty’s littlest brother who is currently on his first tour, AJ’s will be making a donation to Hope For The Warriors. So come in, get your ink on and help those that serve our country at the same time. 

Not sure I’ll be getting any ink done but I would love to make a donation. I love a good charity.

Austyn: I know, but it was like they knew my day was shit and were just feeding off that energy. I know that's not the case, but it was like every little thing set someone off.

Austyn: Thank God for Logan, honestly. Like, I hate he feels like he needs to step up because he's just a kid too, but... If it weren't for him I don't know if I'd have made it as long as I did today.

Austyn: He's normally so good, but maybe you're right. Hell, maybe all of us need it. Which feels really weird to admit... but between him and the sneaking suspicion that Logan might be dabbling with illegal substances... and by adopting them they're my dependents and so they've got my insurance and mental health is covered.

Austyn: I know I don't, I just- it's the last thing that hasn't been touched, y'know? And I know that's why Logan did it. I know he was just trying to keep something the same because so much was changing. I have work and I'm not gonna wanna do it then. I just- I don't even know if I'm ready to let that change.

Shelby: I've learned that people feed off each other. The smallest thing can turn the whole day upside down. If one kid is upset, it can set off the rest.

Shelby: I think you both need each other, he can help in a lot of ways. I think he might be ready to step it up more. Remy is young and confused, he has all these feelings he doesn't know how to express. A therapist will help, god knows mine helps me.

Shelby: I know I was at his age. He might just be thinking about it or starting out. Keep talking to him and if that doesn't work- you can do the motherly thing and snoop. I certainly do-

God give me the strength to not murder a sixteen year old… I love him, I do,  but of the three of them to decide to be a mini me and rebel against fucking everything, did it have to be him? Like, I get it, I’m not his dads, but for fucks sake I’m trying. 

I feel the need to call my mama and fucking apologize for being a dick as a teenager…

These kids will understand how much you love them, it’s just going to take some time. They’re going through it and everything’s changed, they might not see it now but they will.

So, what’s everyone else doing with themselves recently? Feel like my life has been revolving a little too much around taking care of Darcy…

Nothing wrong with taking some you time, Adeline.

And no, Darcy. I don’t care if they’re not fashionable, they’re cute!

That sounds absolutely adorable, no judging here. 

Austyn: Remy was in rare form. Case has a possible black eye because of it. It's been rough. And someone called early this morning asking for Ben...

Austyn: He gave it to me. I'm not sure I want to use it.

Shelby: It will get better, it will take some time. Losing a parent is hard and they lost two but they have you. You got this and I'm always here to lend a hand.

Shelby: Have you thought about getting Remy in therapy? Have him talk to someone? It's never too early to start and it might shed some light on a few things. Sometimes it takes someone outside the situation to help.

Note to self: Don’t kiss your sick girlfriend unless you can afford to get sick. And maybe if you do get sick, give yourself a break, so you don’t develop severe pneumonia. A hospital gown is a fashion statement I never want to make again.

Glad to hear you’re doing better!

It’s so hard to keep healthy when you run a daycare. I have that place disinfected every day, needless to say my cleaning bill is high but a price I’m willing to pay.

Austyn: Well, certainly sounds like you had a much better day than I did.

Austyn: Around Logan's neck. He's had it the whole time.

Shelby: The kids still acting out?

Austyn: Hey babe, hope today's performances went well.

Austyn: I found the key to Ben and Christ' room this evening.

Shelby: They did, no hiccups today from anyone. Everything actually went right, which everyone was surprised about.

You let me know and I’ll make it happen, the more the merrier.

She is doing wonderful, growing up fast and just as sassy. We can’t wait to see you to. Ooooh, a special someone? Perfect, Wednesday is one of my only days off. Will your special someone be coming on Thursday?

I would love to see you and I know a certain little lady who feels the same.

I am, I still have another few months.