fake relationship is such a good trope. they have to act in love and they are in love but they think the other isn’t in love. oscar. pulitzer. nobel prize

it's really gross how you can be self aware enough to know what's going on in your head but you can't actually stop it from happening. i need to grab it like a pigeon that got stuck in a house and throw it out the window. be free

women with deadpan humor get behind me. a man is about to miss your joke and explain that what you said is not accurate

me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off

never doubt my ability to watch the same episode of something ten thousand times and remain just as interested and entertained every single time

women with deadpan humor get behind me. a man is about to miss your joke and explain that what you said is not accurate

i LIED im not horny for sex. im horny for a soft domestic life. extremely horny for stealing kisses in between cooking dinner. extraordinarily horny for curling up together and watching something funny and talking about our days. off the charts horny for having my hair played with while we snuggle

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable heat for all eternity. <- said while gripping the countertop so hard that the tile is starting to crack