Fab After Forty

Surprise! I’m still alive! 

I know, I know… I’ve been kind of an internet hermit in the past couple of years, only coming out for the occasional quote doodle. 

I don’t even remember the last time I actually blogged. Are blogs even still a thing? Has everyone moved over to Youtube or started writing angsty short poems on Instagram? 

I seriously have no idea. 

Anyway... I recently discovered a treasure trove of old journals and letters, and reading them has changed my life. Okay... that’s a bit exaggerated. But it’s been quite the trip, reconnecting with all these former versions of myself, and now I’m all psyched to start journaling again. 

I have to admit that a lot of what I’ve been reading is rather embarrassing...

...but I honestly don’t even care anymore, I’m just so entertained. It does bother me a bit, though, that I really don’t remember half the shiz I’m discovering in my journals.... which brings me to the first reason I feel everyone should journal now, even if the benefits may come much later. 

1. To REMEMBER

Yeah yeah whatever, young people... be all braggy about how you don’t need to write stuff down because there’s some app or another and your perfect brain to remind you later. 

QUIT IT. Listen to Chinie, and write stuff down. You’ll thank me later, when the brain farts begin. And they will. Also.. while Facebook Memories and other social media posts might help jog your memory, there is a distinct difference between the things you post for a social media audience, and the things you write just for yourself. 

2. To RECONNECT 

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve rather enjoyed reconnecting with my former selves (even the ones that made 40-something me cringe). That in itself is a win, but since discovering my old journals I’ve also ended up reconnecting with tons of other people from my past... just because reminiscing is no fun alone.  

This age of social media is a weird one. More than at any time before, you can be “surrounded” by people - practically drowning in the minutiae of hundreds of other lives, and still feel lonely AF.  

We see each other online so often that we forget we haven’t spoken in years. We have the gall to call likes and emoji comments “engagement.” And we only realize how laughable that is when we get the chance to finally see each other again in real life. 

So write stuff down. And next week or next year, or 10, 20, 30 years from now, grab a cup of coffee with someone who matters, and share your take of the story you lived together.

3. To REFLECT

I honestly believe that writing - in any form - makes you wiser, or at least more aware... which is probably the reason I miss blogging the most. Back when I was blogging regularly, I was so zen and enlightened that not even a cancer diagnosis could get me down. 

See, here’s the thing... When you write about the things that happen to you, you are forced to make sense of them. And when you really try to make sense of things, you’ll find that you usually succeed. 

4 & 5. To REALIZE, AND RELAX

Let me tell you, there is not a whole lot that is great about aging. Your body becomes less cooperative, your brain begins to fail you, and good lord, seriously, wtf is up with all the gassiness?! 

But if there is one thing you can look forward to in the later years, it’s perspective. When you’re young and in the thick of things, you tend to think that whatever it is you’re going through is all there is. 

News flash: It’s really not. 

That angsty heartbreak or rage or anxiety you’re feeling right now? You may remember it in 10, 20 years but by then it will have completely lost the power it holds on you today. All the troubles that plague the person you are right now? Mere potholes on the road to the person you will eventually be.

In a recent essay-writing class, our assignment was “Joy, Longing, Loneliness” - so I dug into the journals and pieced together episodes of an on-again, off-again relationship I enjoyed and agonized over throughout the latter half of the 90s. The ending was bittersweet and met with a collective “Awww... “ from my writing group, but I laughed and said “It’s okay... It all worked out in the end.” 

And you know what? That’s true of almost everything I found as I browsed through my journals. 

Sure, there were things and people that didn’t end up making it to this part of my life, but even the most painful losses became bearable over time, and the great gift of perspective eventually revealed explanations for everything. 

Whatever it is you’re going through right now, write it down and ride it out. And when it’s your turn, 20 years from now, to discover the treasure trove of memories that you left for yourself, you’ll be grateful. And highly amused. 

Happy writing, my friends. :)