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YES YES YES YOUG OT IT BRUH. Theo um parrot puts him in danger by being a guard dog. i think its interesting abt torchflowers also cuz like. most of the protags quickly attach to their deuters, but flame doesnt really care about lomedy for a bit because hes caught up with his Strongest On The Server bs. and theyre the least lovedoomed duo hmmm.

I didn't explicitly mean predator prey but i accept that also :eyes: I was thinking more like. like how plankton make oxygen for us. Or how like. like imagine spoke is a mouse who lives in undergrowth, and mapicc is a wolf who kills big mammoths. If mapicc leaves, the mammoths walk over the land and turn it into something more like a plains w/ less cover. u get it. BUT If spoke is the hunter and mapicc is the hunted, then they might be human x wolf. hear me out. spoke as a hunter bc getting food is rlly important for humans right, and spoke doesnt think hismelf as a player(a human), so its sick and twisted to put him into the hunter role. ALSO hunters are seen as "cruel". Spoke kills mapicc to live but then he's out of wolves to eat.... MMM!! Or spoek as someone who hunts endangered species for sport.... many things to consider

SOUL HOLE LMAO. I made the connection bc like. i have one concept about spoke hole theory, and one about the universe loving you, so i mixed them. Fun! THE AROACENESS OF IT ALL </3. I think aroace ppl in this world just have shallower capacities in the sections of their body that hold "romance" and "sexual". Or like they have tighter valves and the love has to be intense for it to get romantic. its all a spectrum. HES JUST LIKE US FR!!!! The lack of a player center is so mental illness. I LOVE FANTASY DISABILTY :FIRE:

i like the implication of understanding the different types of love being like. a genetic thing kinda. like in a “born with it” type of way. the way the misunderstanding of love and the fundiff thing and the wanting to be good thing all coexist because of the universal deviation of self-constructed players is very autism coded.

You won't guess what disorders i have bruh... we're not so differnet u and i... YES!! Ughh that feeling that you were born lacking something that everyone else has... or, in typical hole theory fashion, you have a sadness that is supposed to be removed at birth.... UGH!!! You get me rowan u get me

you said spoke trying to love mapicc is like trying to speak a language he doesn’t know, and i think that applies to a lot of other areas of his life too. it’s not just love that makes him confused, it’s morality and empathy and power and so much more.

Girl with aspd: i don't know how to be normal and i act strangely ^hes the girl with aspd btw. i dont have that

We have to kill you. Okay. okay okay okay okay putting all of that aside-- Yeah! The believing in the universe is a religion. I will say that it's real, maybe not to the personificated version some ppl believe, but what i've said in tumblr asks so far is real. The universe loves you. The universe makes you. you are the universe. Diff ppl believe in different aspects of it to differnet degrees- just like real religions! Also jesus christ was real and he's like herobrine but goodhearted so that's why the exclamation "jesus christ!" works. You call the end poem a written text and ehhhh?? It isn't. There's. It's code. you know the scrambled text in it?? that's how it feels. the End Poem isn't really a poem, its just called that. The End Poem is an experience. you beat the enderdragon and it's not really two voices, it's not really two colors of text, its not really two fonts, it's two beings. you cant even call them beings. its two feelings. two vibes. Two vibes and you know theyre talking to each other because there is a vibe-eral exchange. emotions and like weighted air(air?? where are you? weighted void? just weighted nothing????). There is a conversation, very much so, and you know what they're saying because its your parent talking in your native language, even though you haven't practiced that language since you were a very little kid. Why are there two "voices"?? How can one have a conversation with themself? Well, you're here, right? And you're basically just your mom but in a different body. The universe can talk to her/his/its/their/ourself because it's everything. She/he/it/they/we want for you to be able to comprehend it. RIFTANGELS. so everything in the universe balances out. everything. sunlight and sundark, heavy and light, hot and cold, love and hate, full and empty, everything and nothing, kinetic and potential, angels and devils-- Um wait. That last one?? BASCIALLY DEVILS ARENT THE OPPOSITE OF ANGELS. Thats some bullshit some random a while ago made up, like the study on wolf packing behaviors. the real opposites are this thing called riftangels. Angels (im workingshopping a long name for them. stitchangels? Opposite of a rift is a closure) can heal, and riftangels can hurt. An angel leans on their friend/person they want to heal, and uses excess energy in the air (because the universe loves them) to heal the person. Inversely, a riftangel grabs their enemy/person they want to hurt, and uses excess energy in the air (because the universe loves them too) to hurt the person. Riftangel effect is kinda a wither, angel effect is like regen. or maybe sat?? Idk yet. but u get it. THIS IS IMPORTNAT!!! This part is important: Spoke thinks that being an opposite is bad. he thinks being one of the opposites that is like-- yk how there's no such thing as physical cold, there's no "cold" particle, it's just a lack of heat? A lack of particle collision?? That's a 'negative opposite'. darkness, light(weight), cold, hate, emptiness, nothing, potential, riftangels. Take a quote from my magnum opus fic: "Spoke is not something intentional. His species is not meant to even exist really, and the only reason he does is because an angel looked into the void some 10 to the eightieth years ago and saw its reflection. Spoke is the rubble of an accident– there was a positive without a negative, a direct relationship without the inverse relationship, something impossible; he's basically a big electron. He was created to be the mirror of some angel, so that when the universe wraps itself in a hug, and everything runs a count of itself, the number of angels and their opposites cancel each other out, and the everything's tally amounts to a total net nothing.  Spoke, for all that he tries to break free of the universe, is only a part of it. He is a culmination of life and death, but even with all the effort of Things to exist; he is not worth anything." (right after this spoke says he is esp not worthy of mapicc. the fic is so good i wont quote anymore bc i want it to be experienced spoilerfree)

Essentially. To your idea about players alienating him for being werid-- dont even worry! hes done that to himself!! Definitely tho other players at best think he's a little odd and at worst think hes a freak. Again, neurodivergent feeling of Missing Something and the way Everyone Else knows too... Ohhhhhhhh. I write like this because i was the animal who was almost human but not quite human enough to be a person close to other people. But now i live with the other animals so life is good o7

jamato is spokes original sin. Basically. Jamato was spokes first best friend. Jamato taught him how to exploit, let spoke depend on him, then failed to curb spoke, and cruelly left spoke hanging dry. It's entirely understandable (uuspoke pov is a tragedy bruh), but it's still like. spoke is the way he is in large part due to how jamato left. Yk that quote "Revelation is only mentioned once, but refered to again and again and again and again" ?? THat's spoke with jamato and the first uu ep. Over and over he refers to it-- HONESTLY! Jamato left spoke because spoke was Bad, and that just furthered spoke's belief that he was seperate from every other thing. he's different and hes bad and being those things has consequences like your bestfriend leaving.

^To avoid the consequences in the future, spoke puts up a wall. He lies and lies and lies to aovid it, to mapicc and all the people he meets. UU!Ro just makes it worse too with keeping the exploited items.. GOD

Jamato leaving is the catalyst to spoke's need to be Good. If he isnt Good then his friend leaves

^from my oriignal spoke thesis. a little outdated.

If he's good enough, if he cures all his issues and gets redeemed, then he'll be okay. Jamato will come back, spoke just has to bury everything jamato didn't like about him. That's why he destroys the exploited items, it's why he lies (or at least, doesn't tell the truth) to mapicc about jamato and the exploited items and spoke's role in that. He doesn't wanna scare off his new friend, which is reasonable, and i fully agree with him telling mapicc after theyve done a raid. I just, uh, i dunno if he wouldve done that if he didn't think he had to (to spoke's Not Yet A Superliar brain: he needs to tell mapicc why ppl dont like spoke. okay fine i guess. Modernly, spoke would either lie and say "idk why they hate me!" or tell mapicc "they hate me for exploiting but i didnt even do that!" or "they hate me because i was in a bind and i was forced to kill their pet").

From here, spoke does everything to be good. She lies to herself, to her allies, to mapicc, to everyone and everything. Spoke tries to destroy exploited items and follow "What Would Jamato Do?". But due to his poor social skills and both his and mapiccs lack of care, he kinda fails. He keeps destroying innocent bases and random farms and he befriends the literal serverwide villain. But he grows from this, he and mape decide no more mistakes, they have to be careful, bc this isnt funny jokes, this has people's lives in the balance. Spoke starts treating mapicc like a superior and smart person because mapcic is better at navigating this stuff-- this is the beginning of devious duo god-follower bs.

Spoke joins the mafia, in part, because jamato left. He tells infiltration quartet after he kills majrose "I feel so stupid for believing that- that i was part of something." He tells them that he felt so good being a part of something, and he feels dumb as fuck for thinking that ash cared about him at all. Infquar say "fuck ash, he has invis yesmen, and you have us. you have friends." So spoke gets fufilled, the hole in him is less, because he feels love.

We see over and over that, as long as it seems to him that what he's doing is good, he doesn't really care about the effect it has on others. That sounds like "people die when theyre killed" but like you get it. He killed rose and told himself "this is for the greater good. this is how the mafia falls." That's bc spoke has those delusions and they block his ability to judge good and bad. He's blinded by the ache for his first best friend, too blinded by the need to be Good to realize that killing an innocent is no help to defeating the Mafia. It's in a way, due to jamato that spoke has killed who he has. Rose and Treeleaf and his 200 player army (it was NOT 1000 you cant gaslight me) and minute's end dimension(the first time(and the second but we'll get there)) and every player he has kil;led bc the bloodthirst he got from the original kills and the ppl who died with him in exucution in purgatory and everyone his armies (null included) and macaronibaloney, leowook, redjaron bases-- Everything i just listed is because spoke needed to be Good. And it's Jamato's fault spoke needs to be Good. Jamato didn't kill those people, but his actions butteryfly effect led to them dying. (up to you if that makes him guilty. I lean no personally)

And THEN. THEN. then. as if doing this to spoke by being a coward(/neu) wasn't enough, jamato comes back. jamato haunts spokes narrative for a year and a half, then he kidnaps the only thing keeping spoke semi-sane. I don't know what the fuck he was thinking. I hate him for this. It's like girl you just want spoke to get worse, you just want to prove yourself right. youre obsessed. anyway.

Jamato steals spoke's meds basically, and then, after spoke tracks mapicc down, jamato shakes spoke's world up again by being Alive And Here. Spoke isn't doing okay at all. Imagine a girl off her meds and she takes them and then two hours later you have her on top of a lighthouse and. hgggg

What he did on the lighthouse is sick. its. UGH!!! RAGHHRHR!!! It gets me jawless every single time. its sick and twisted and soso intriguing. i hate him So Much but hes interesting as fuck too. why did he did this.

Okay, he takes away spokes only coping mechanism for a week and a half or wtvr, and then gives spoke two whiplashes, and then he confronts her. He gives this whole speech about how spoke is just fated, destined to be a villain. and spoke's been hearing this since day 1, and fuck it gets to him. He needs to be Good, but everyone tells him he's insnae and can't get help and a lost cause and like. Fine. Fine! Jamato took mapicc and jamato did this to him and jamato Won't. Shut. Up. So he proves jamato right (at his lowest. without any coping mechanisms, it makes hella sense that he would kill the hell out of a person who is actively making spoke hate them).

I cant get into null arc bc deadass i havent watched most of it. but theyre as bad as each other and jamato is FUCKED for putting spoke thru all of that and then putitng him in the SUICIDE TORTURE NEXUS. WHAT!?!?!?! Also jamato killed mapicc btw fuck jamatop

for all my jamato hating (grits teeth) i actually really like his character lol. so so interesting. lets fucking kill the FUCK out of him. He and spoke and mapicc need to go to couples therapy what the HELL is their issue #fucked up #what the fuck even

Jamato left and i dont Super mean that he killed mapicc but well. you can see my point.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fundies diffies!!! And he feels horrible for needing mapicc so much..... AND!! Mapicc feels so weird for needing spoke so muhc (spoke=purpose) even after the truth comes out

The repeating over and over of "i was never meant to win.." esp with the like deranged laughter and then "SHUT UP" is soooo spokies trying to keep his 'bad' thoughts out. Bad in quotes because sometimes the thoughts are "I want connection" and sometimes they're "lets kill an innocent". He can't tell the differnece. :(.

Here’s the reigns Take ahold of me Please don’t let me go You do the talking Sеw up my mouth if I can’t keep it closed

OKAY. Okay. OKAYYYYOKAYYKOYKEOYK k so like spoke kind of. When he's more depressive than manic, he hands himself over to mapicc. in his brain, mapicc knows how to be a person. he... i dont know if its trust. He believes mapicc (/religious). "Please dont let me go" like he knows, when he's less manic, that he is so far. He think he's too far gone to even be saved <- that thoguht is also kind of the thing that keeps preventing him from being saved. This section is just how much he allows mapicc to take over him. ITS ALSO!!! Mapicc lets spoke control him, but less in a desperate way and more of an "i trust and love you and will be your guard dog" way. The last two lines.. soemthing abt mapicc letting spoke do the lying...

okay. This whole part is mapicc consistently getting the scrutiny off of spoke. like. This is mapicc guard dog. He kills people for spoke. mapicc isnt innocent by a long shot. But for ALL that he sacrifices and does for spoke, spoke still "leaves him hanging at the station". spoke leaves. "but youll be back for me soon" like spoke will be back right... even though he knows its not true. and then it just progresses and spoke knocks him into the void and as mapicc falls he just thinks about spoke.

AND!! from spokes perspective, he takes scrutiny off of mapicc too! He'll MURDER for mapicc (my best friend died episode). He'll blow up capital city with hunger/love in his eyes because he needs mapicc. he calls that need "love". and mapicc leaves spoke alone in the area where he pops spokes totem, and all of spokes lies get revealed. he leaves spoke. spoke goes in the maze. Spoke tells himsef "mapicc will be back mapicc HAS to be back" even when he doesnt believe it. "im bout to die yet the only thing im worried abt is u" bc he nearly kills himself and its for mapicc. he needs mapicc. "something tells me you arent coming, guess that im truly doomed!" as he realizes it all. And the last section is what spoke thinks as he jumps right before landing in a pixel of water.

I overhear your brain when it’s close to mine Oh, I know that we’re not the same My heart’s on the line I’m just a pawn in your game Not your partner in crime

the overhearing brains things... theyre so close god it hurts. mapicc knows spoke better than anyone. Better tahn anyone better than anyone better than anyone. It doesnt end up saving him.

Youre so right about the pawn thing UghHHHGHGHGH. Mapicc puts his Everything into spoke, his heart is on the line and he doesnt mind it until its revealed that spoke is a traitor. Mapiccs just a pawn. and hes been okay being a pawn because he loved spoke but... but now......

Theyre steadily killing each other. over two years, they slowly kill each other. (rocks slowly back and forth)

[You’re slowly killing me And yet I don’t mind (You were never meant to win) You’re slowly killing me But please, take your time

yeah. not much to say. yeah. there's love there.]