Big Sisters
Jaune Arc stared his opponent down from across the table. His strategy was impeccable. As soon as his foe took his next move, his trap would be sprung and the contest would be his.
His dreaded enemy reached towards the center of the table, no hesitation in his certainty, and grabbed one of the colorful duckies arranged on top of the game board and promptly shoved it into his mouth.
“Oh no you don't you little carnivore. Spit that out!”
The toddler squealed around the duck in his mouth, dodging and twisting left and right to keep his mother from taking the game piece from him. Sat in her lap as he was, he couldn't evade forever. Terra finally hooked a finger in his cheek and pried the soggy fowl from its prison. Adrian laughed delightedly and made a grab for it, ready to start the game again.
Terra tossed the duck at Jaune and he yelped, trying to dodge but failing. His legs were practically crammed under the plastic kiddie table in the play room and with nowhere to run, the spit-soaked duck bounced off his forehead and landed in his lap. He collapsed back with a sigh.
Laughter sounded from down the hall. His friends were laughing at him, he knew. Not him him, but him as a kid. That poor prisoner that suffered seventeen years of abuse at the hands of seven twisted jailers. Saphron had pulled out the big guns as soon as lunch was cleared away – family photo albums. Digitized. Blown up and displayed life-size on the screen in the living room. The leader knew when retreat was in order and retreat he had.
He could make them all out. Nora and Yang practically rocking the walls with their guffaws. Weiss and Blake's giggling. Even Oscar was laughing it up. Ren, bless him, was quiet. And above all of them, cackling delightedly, was Ruby, strong and clear. He sighed again, failing to keep a crooked grin off his face. Let them have their fun. They'd seen him in a dress at Beacon, they could see him in a dress when he was five.
In any case, it was a good opportunity to get to know the newest members of his family. He rocked himself back up to the table and leaned across, poking his nephew in the stomach, eliciting a giggle. “Guess you win this round, buddy. I won't go so easy on you next time.”
Terra sniffed the air and smiled deviously at Jaune. “Next time is now, it seems. Someone needs his diaper changed.” And with that she unceremoniously thrust her son across the table and into Jaune's lap.
---
“This is my first time being a big sister. How am I doing so far?” Terra teased, leaning against the wall nearby to give directions while Jaune cleaned up her son.
“Like a pro,” Jaune grumbled, staring down at the chore foisted on him by his newest sister. Said chore smiled up at him and began giggling and wiggling his way up the changing table to freedom. “Hey, hold it!”
“Don't be afraid to manhandle him a little bit, it'll take forever otherwise.” Terra reached over and grabbed Adrian by the ankle, pulling him back into place. The boy just kept on giggling. “He's not made of glass, Jaune. You won't hurt him.”
“Right.” He held his nephew steady with one hand and grabbed the box of wet wipes with the other. Adrian squirmed and struggled even now. He needed a distraction.
Inspiration struck. He handed the boy the box of wet wipes and the boy's eyes went wide, turning the box every which way. He had finally stopped squirming at least.
“Clever,” Terra praised, “Guess that's a huntsman team leader for you.”
“Mm.” The clothes were off, now came the diaper. Jaune shuddered slightly as he undid the straps on each side. The smell intensified and he nearly gagged. He unfolded the diaper down and paled. Why is it green?!
Jaune ground his teeth as he heard his friends laugh in the other room.
“I never had a family growing up,” she continued, heedless of Jaune's plight. “But since marrying Saph I suddenly have more family than I can handle. Crazy, right? It was just me for a long time, then just me and Saph, and now suddenly I have parents, and sisters, and even a darling baby brother.”
She punctuated that with a pat to Jaune's head while making her way around to her son. He grunted in response as he went through another wipe trying to clean the horror that was his nephew's butt.
“And best of all,” she said, poking her son's nose affectionately, “is this little monster.”
Said little monster was finally clean. At least Jaune hoped so. He had gone through a dozen wipes before they finally came away clean.
“So, uh, isn't there a powder that comes next? And I have no idea how to put a diaper on,” Jaune asked.
“Oh don't worry about that. It's a little early in the day, but you can go ahead and give him his bath. Might as well get the full experience, right?”
Terra must have noticed his deadpan reaction to that suggestion and chuckled happily. “Baths are easy, trust me. Or you could go help your sister with the entertainment.”
Jaune groaned, “You've really got the big sister thing down pat. Fine, bath it is.”
She handed him the naked boy with a smile. “The second floor bathroom has all his toys. C'mon.”
---
The laughter grew louder as they approached the living room. Eyes forward, go straight for the stairs, don't stop for anything. He adjusted Adrian in his arms, nodded to himself, and plunged through the entryway.
“Oh my god are those SEQUINS?!”
“He's certainly showing a lot of skin.”
“HE'S SO SPARKLY!”
Crap. They made it to the first dance recital. Stop for nothing, Jaune Arc, nothing!
He had barely started up the stairs when Saphron headed him off, approaching with a big grin plastered on her face.
“There's the star of our show! How's my darling baby boy and my other darling baby boy?” Her eyes glittered mischievously as she pinched both her son's and Jaune's cheek while cooing like a baby. Jaune slapped her hand away and Adrian followed suit, pushing at his mother's hand with a whine.
Saphron's grin only widened.
Jaune looked past his sister and grimaced. His friends were spread out along the couch, humor lighting up their faces. They had even made popcorn for the occasion. Yang had a notebook in her lap. Was Yang taking notes? Was Yang taking notes?!
He turned quickly to continue his retreat up the stairs when they called out to him.
“You had impeccable fashion sense when you were younger. What happened?” Weiss teased.
“You really got down, Jauney. Bet you had girls lined up all the way around the schoolyard!” Nora sounded almost proud.
“He could really shake that booty, eh Rubes?” Yang snickered, elbowing her sister in the side.
Jaune's face burned in embarrassment. His eyes settled on Ruby, sitting on the far side of her sister with a pillow clutched to her chest. She was red in the face and looked away briefly before meeting his eyes and smiling apologetically. He felt his stomach clench as she blushed prettily at him.
“Speaking of booties,” Yang said. “You still got that birthmark on your left butt cheek?”
Aaaand I'm out. Jaune took the steps two at a time as the laughter chased him up the stairs.
“Ooo! I can answer that one!” Nora exclaimed, and the laughter grew.
---
Jaune sat on the edge of the tub, Adrian resting on his knee. It was like he was back home again, house filled with women intent on tormenting him that he couldn't bring himself to hate. He hadn't gotten this treatment since he left for Beacon except from Nora. And now they were all in on it.
Jaune let out a long sigh and turned his nephew to face him. “At least I've got you, bud. We're outnumbered, but Arc men have to stick together.”
Adrian responded by blowing spit bubbles. Jaune sighed again.
Jaune reached over and turned the water on, leaving his hand under the faucet to check the temperate as Terra came in to join him.
“You've got good friends, though they certainly don't pull their punches,” she joked, pulling a towel down from the cupboard. She tested the water herself and with a nod of satisfaction put the stopper in, letting the tub fill with water. She only let the water rise a few inches before turning it off.
“That's it?” Jaune asked.
“Doesn't take much. Go ahead and toss him in,” she responded as she sat on the toilet and pulled out her scroll.
Jaune nodded and placed the boy gingerly into the tub. It was already filled with toys, various blocks and animals, and he immediately went to town, splashing back and forth. “Now what?”
“Let him play,” she responded, already typing away at her scroll. “Baths are easy. 99% playtime, 1% washing. Perfect time to catch up on work mail.”
Jaune shrugged. He turned back to his nephew and decided to join in. He found an Atlesian warship and skimmed it along the surface making engine noises, kicking up water at the boy. Adrian squealed and slapped his hands up and down, splashing Jaune full in the face. Jaune couldn't help but laugh with him.
This continued for some time, both boys going back and forth in their games. Terra continued to tap quietly away at her scroll, occasionally groaning or muttering a curse under her breath. Eventually, she sat the scroll aside and stretched.
“Enjoying dad practice?” she asked, sitting down beside Jaune at the tub.
Jaune scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Now that's a big sister question if I've ever heard one. You sure you haven't had practice before?”
Terra snorted a laugh. “Just at the wedding and a little after the honeymoon. It's easier to tease little brothers than sisters. Still, I'm no expert on the whole parent thing, but you seem to be doing a good job. And if you're anything like Saph, you'll be great.”
“Don't have time for that in the foreseeable future,” Jaune replied easily.
Or ever, really.
Ruby had shared the truth of their war against Salem. There'd be no end. To his surprise, it really didn't change much for him. His goal was the same. Stick with Ruby, with his friends. Keep them all safe. He was actually kind of relieved there'd be no climactic battle against Salem. All they had to do was what Oz had been doing for who knows how long. Keep the relics out of Salem's reach, kill Grimm, protect the people.
And who was to say his friends couldn't have their happy ending? They didn't have to fight Salem forever. Huntsmen started families, retired, and hung up their weapons all the time. Ren and Nora could settle down, Weiss could take over her company, Ruby could...
Ruby would fight Salem until her final day. She wouldn't let some lamp decide otherwise. And even if she did decide to hang up her scythe, there'd be no peace for her. Salem might excuse the rest of them so long as they were no longer a threat, but she wouldn't let a silver eyed warrior live. Ruby would be hunted.
It made him angry. Sick. Sad. So he'd do the only thing he could do. He'd stick with her. And when Salem's goons came for her life, he would stand with her and fight. And, more likely, stand between them, and die for her.
He was snapped from his thoughts with another splash of water to the face, Adrian giggling like mad all the while. Jaune smiled down at him and splashed him back. Stuff like that wasn't worth worrying about. Everyone was safe and happy. They'd get to Atlas and plan their next move from there.
“Okay,” Terra said, “one last big sister question for you. Which one?”
Jaune looked at her sideways, not trying to mask his confusion. “Which one what?”
“Which one's your girlfriend?”
“Wha- I don't- They're my friends, don't make it weird!” Jaune spluttered, voice cracking at the end.
“You're traveling with a whole pack of beautiful huntresses and you're not dating one of them?” She snorted. “No way.”
“It's true!” His voice kept rising.
“Fine. But you have the hots for one of them, right? I bet it's that Faunus girl. She's exotic, likes to show off the goods...” Terra was wagging her eyebrows at him. She's as bad as Saph! Saph probably put her up to this!
As if she were called, Saphron appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame with one hip cocked and a predatory grin on her face. “Not a bad guess, honey, but I can read my little brother like a book. If we were going off looks alone, it'd be Weiss. She's so his type, the dainty princess and all that. Buuuut...”
He needed to get out of here, now, but he was blocked in. Maybe he could throw Adrian at her to distract her long enough for him to slip free?
“All that time staring at his scroll the first night? Those little glances when he thinks no one's looking?”
The window! He could jump out the- that thing is tiny I'll never squeeze through there!
“Aaaaand a certain someone told me about a hug that lasted a whole lot longer than the others and may or may not have included tears of joy-”
He looked between his two big sisters and knew there was no way out. So he looked to his last hope. The other man in the family who would have his back, even against his mothers, especially against his mothers. Arc men stuck together!
Adrian was blowing spit bubbles again.
Jaune groaned in defeat. He felt right at home.
