eyesonbee

I grew up right in the middle of the Pokémon boom, fully swept up in it as a kid. I can still remember my Pikachu Tamagotchi with the little pedometer, dutifully tracking my steps like it had somewhere important to be. The commercial jingle and the Pokérap are permanently etched into my brain, like a time capsule I carry around without thinking.

But here’s the funny thing. For all my love of Pokémon, I never really played the games all the way through. I’d start, make it to the first gym, and then stall out completely, paralyzed by the impossible decision of which tiny creature deserved a permanent spot on my team.

Now, getting to experience it alongside my kids feels like a second chance. I’m hoping this might finally be the time I see one of these games through to the end. But even if I don’t, it already feels like a win.

Rosie, especially, has fully embraced it. She’s been wearing a Pokémon outfit every day this week and can confidently tell me names and evolutions I still have to double-check. Watching her fall in love with something that once meant so much to me feels magical. (paired with her love for Sailor Moon, but that's a whole other subject entirely)

In a world that often feels loud and overwhelming, this has become a kind of safe little bubble for us. Just time together, sharing something simple and joyful. And honestly, it’s been one of the things keeping me grounded lately. I’m really grateful for it.

Rewatched Ghost World for the first time in probably fifteen years, and it definitely hits different in a world where everything I do is so deeply ingrained in internet culture. All of my niche interests used to make me feel like an outlier, and that made it harder to connect with people especially in my hometown. Now, my "niche" interests don't feel as niche because I can quickly get worked into algorithms via social media where people have the same interests.

While it's refreshing to not feel so lonely on liking the things I do, and it seems like Seymour likely would thrive now in a world where he could just run a Discord to yap about his album collection. It got me thinking about how hollow it still can be to connect that way.

There's always going to be someone who treats said niche interest as a competition to which you are not "in the know" about. This is online and offline. It's a nice way to connect, but I think we have more in common with those we'd never expect if we just tried. This is easier said than done as an introvert though.

As more time passes, it becomes more and more obvious to me how much as a culture we have abandoned our physical communities to find algorithms to comfort us. It's what helps us feel more accepted in society right now, but I am not truly sure if this helping us all? We are no longer experiencing the challenges of meeting people in the middle, and learning each others eccentricities. There's not a lot of time to smell the roses and recognize how similar a lot of us feel to each other. Instead we become trapped in the echo chambers that lock us down to certain trains of thought and incapable to meet in the middle with those who exist in different spaces.

I don't really know that this was the intention they had with the movie, but it really got my brain juices going so, I appreciated that. It also touches a topic I wish I was prepared more in life and that is the inevitability of growing past friendships. I mourn a lot of previous friendships that in the moment meant the world to me, but we all change and move on eventually.

I still am not sure how I feel about Seymour and Enid hooking up, but I am glad they didn't end up together. It's very clear Enid is still finding who she really is, and she 100% would have moved past Seymour even though he was prepared to build everything around her.

Low key wish we knew how Seymour was doing now. I know everyone wonders where Enid went, but I know she likely figured shit out. Seymour on the other hand, had everything he had going for him kind of thrown in the dumpster for Enid. I hope he's doing okay.

Also Me: Hates it and deletes everything.

Been watching a few playthroughs of Final Fantasy XII and the difference in opinion is fascinating to observe. It's kind of made me dig deeper into figuring out why exactly my own opinion of the game shifted so much since release in 2006.

FFXII came out when I was a senior in high school. I had spent a large part of my youth obsessing over the series, playing pretty much every title available up until this point, and had 100% X and X-2. I remember having photos of Ashe from a magazine hung in my locker amped for release several years before because there was some implication she might be the lead of the party. A big marketing point the made that REALLY had me interested was that this wouldn't be a love story. After FFX, it felt like a refreshing concept especially to see a lady in Final Fantasy not so seriously tied to being a love interest.

Unfortunately, when it came out I just couldn't get into it. I had a job, a boyfriend, and many extra curriculars. I wrote it off as maturing and "growing past" gaming, but after college I found myself gaming again. Of course, being drawn to my childhood favorite series.

In 2015, I set out to stream and beat all the mainline Final Fantasy's in a row on Twitch. TZA wasn't out yet so I played my OG PlayStation 2 copy. I managed to beat it, but I loathed the entire experience. Often citing it as my least favorite in the series for awhile after that.

In 2020, I made a goal to play all of the Ivalice titles and so, I played TZA. I walked away from this playthrough with 100% completion and a newfound love for it.

So, what changed?

When it comes to the conversation of what is a "good game". I feel like there are so many nuances that people look past, especially in online spaces. I do think playing it in 2006, when I was so distracted from real life didn't help, but the plot was a lot more mature than my interests could handle at the time too. Political intrigue was something that I gained interest in with age, but then what was it with my replay in 2015, nearly ten years after release that didn't hit the same?

It's easy to acknowledge the fact that The Zodiac Age remaster did a lot for the Quality of Life of FFXII's gameplay. I know with the PS2 version, I felt there was so much time between plot points just getting from point A to B that it felt like a chore. By the end of my 2015 playthrough, I wasn't able to summarize what happened in the game as a result. If that was lack of interest due to burnout of playing all the Final Fantasy titles in a row over the course of nine months or just because gameplay wasn't my cup of tea remains subjective even now for me.

The world was a very different place in 2015 than it was in 2020. I had experienced so much more, and had my eyes opened to more as a result. I played Xenogears just a few months prior to TZA, and often stated that if I played this sooner, I think a lot of it would have gone over my head, but I had played it in a time my heart truly needed it which made it resonate strongly with me.

Our life experiences can really shape how a piece of media impacts us over time, or even on subsequent playthroughs. Sometimes knowing the plot and coming back on replay also frees our minds to just relax and explore. Taking in the world of Ivalice was a big part of my love for the game. The NPCs have some of the best dialogue and personality in the series which helps the world feel lived in. Shout out to my boy Jovy!

I still have my gripes with the game, don't get me wrong. I mean how are you going to fight the highest rank Hunt, and never discuss it as a party?

Though, I also don't believe a game needs to sell well or be "good" to the general public for it to be a "good" game. I really wish people would shake that sentiment. That's why watching my pal Jaki's playthrough where she is thoroughly enjoying the gameplay and story vs watching Sebbywebz who is giggling about making the game play itself is so fascinating.

Though I suppose when you play a game to experience it by your own means and not to entertain others opinions - I find you often end up pleasantly surprised.

Currently on stream I have been playing through:

Lost Odyssey: This has been a long time goal of mine for many years, but I didn't have an Xbox Console to make it possible until recently. I just reached Disc 4 last night, so I know it is wrapping up soon, but it's been an excellent game so far that has lived up to my expectations quite a bit.

I have a lot to say that I hope to break down into further posts. The characters, the story, the format, etc. Especially since it's a turn based game, which is such a hot topic within my niche of interests.

Hoping by doing this it will be easier to make videos later on since I am pre-compiling my thoughts. ADHD brain be damned.

Final Fantasy Adventure aka Seiken Densetsu: I finally dropped back into my Final Fantasy Series Replay after several months with Final Fantasy Adventure on the Game Boy. Secret of Mana was the first video game I ever played and beat so, the this one means a lot to me.

I haven't touched this since I was a kid and I don't actually think I have ever beat it so it does feel a bit like a first playthrough. It definitely hits different after all these years to recognize how strong the roots of the Mana series always have been even in the original game. I feel like it's also awoken this urge in me to play older games. It's funny, I am already super invested in playing "old games", but after a 130+ hours of Wild Arms 3, I yearn for a simple 10 hour game. Going to be trying to add more of these types of games to my rotation in the future.

Upcoming Playthroughs

Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals: This one kept getting brought up as I played through the Wild Arms titles. So the little brain worm that is my Twitch chat has finally won me over on trying this out. I've spent years watching elmagus on Twitch doing Ancient Cave speedruns, but I still have zero damn clue anything about the game. So, this will be a treat I am sure especially since I have been a lot more into doing puzzle type games.

Final Fantasy V: More of the the series replay and the first time in ages that I have played FFV in a non-fiesta challenge setting. My goal with this one is to maybe attempt a platinum of the Pixel Remaster on Steam. I'd like to just max out jobs and really mess around with the jobs I have never really used much. This is one of my favorite titles in the series so, I know it'll be a good time.

Xenosaga Series: I replayed Xenogears with the Perfect Works Translation last year in preparation of taking on the task of finally playing through the Xenosaga series. I love Xenogears and I have been so curious to see the follow up evolution of Tetsuya Takahashi before finally diving into the more modern era with the Xenoblade games.

Aesthetically this game is everything I love. I am only worried I about Part II since there seems to be some rough opinions out there about it. Hoping that breaking the games up and playing them with space in between will help with burning out on the vibe.

Final Fantasy Mystic Quest: I only played this for the first time a few years ago on stream and it was fun! I know bare minimum there will be memes, laughs, and great music. I do wish people were capable of having their own original thoughts about this game because so many people lean into the hive mind on this being a "shit game". In reality, it is a basic Super Nintendo era game with a banger OST.

The Nonary Games: After playing Ai: The Somnium Files and the sequel in 2022, I had been told I should go and play more of Kotaro Uchikoshi's work, the biggest suggestion being "The Nonary Games". As far I know, this is a Trilogy of games. I probably need to do a little more research on this before the time arrives to play it, but if I remember correctly it's "Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors", "Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward", and "Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma". 999 seems like the best starting point since it was the first release. I will definitely be breaking up these game playthroughs too.

Blue Dragon: Okay, I can't say I was bullied into this, but yeah I kind of was by my chat reminding me every day of my Lost Odyssey playthrough that "Blue Dragon is a job system game". If you didn't know, I am a job system girly so, that's really all it takes. Plus, my Xbox is already set-up anyways and I am in the mood for this weird era of JRPGs from the late aughts like "Infinite Undiscovery" and "Enchanted Arms". Seems like the right timing.

Dragon Quest III Remake: My greatest shame as a JRPG lover is that I haven't truly given the Dragon Quest series a chance. I've only ever heard good things about these Remasters so, I think it is finally time to dive in. Last year, I played about 10-15 hours of DQXI off stream, but like all off stream titles that aren't Balatro, it fizzled into my backlog. Hoping maybe to finally get sucked in especially since it seems like Square Enix is making a genuine effort to get the DQ games out there to new eyes in the West right now. I know the cultural impact this game has in Japan is widely missed in the West vs Final Fantasy and I would really like to investigate "why" this may be.

I haven't used this in awhile, but I need to find a medium to get my thoughts out while playing games on stream again or outlet to to randomly spew strange observations I have made on the internet.