★

I think Mr. Schue is getting a little frustrated that some of us are spending more of our energy on the musical. Maybe we should do something nice for him? Like get him a card or perform one of those lame journey songs he likes so much?

Personally, I have to say, this Musical has been the best thing to happen to McKinley High! It’s really quite refreshing to be able to work collaboratively for the greater good, as well as gaining genuine theatrical experience that will likely help us with college applications, gaining valuable skills and - in my case - a future on the Broadway stage. This is an incredible opportunity for me all of us, and as much as I am dedicated and devoted to the Glee Club, I can’t help but feel as though Mr. Schuester’s leadership and lack of direct (pun entirely intended) will only damage any potential Regionals win. Perhaps I’m a little personally frustrated with Mr. Schuester due to him completely dismissing my fourteen set-list ideas in favor of instead deciding the set-list a week before Regionals, so you must forgive my flippancy. It’s completely absurd, Tina! If that means my energy has thus been focused on being the perfect Regina George, then so be it.

I haven’t.

xharmiex‌:

When it comes to feeling ill, sometimes all you need is some Pepto-Bismol and a copy of Barbra Streisand in a Star is Born.

Okay, Rachel Berry.

Titans baseball won their first game. It was also the last game of the season but hey, least we got a win. I’m pretty glad baseball is over though because it means one less thing to worry about. Between Mean Girls and Regionals coming up, there is like no time for anything. Thinking it might be time for a legendary spring kickback.

Congratulations on the win. There’s nothing worse than being left without any plans, so take advantage of the ongoing projects happening in the present. 

My dad was actually at the house today and instead of you know, the usual ‘hi, hello’ I got the ‘your singing is pitchy’ and ‘work on that before the musical’. Like thanks? Love you too? I don’t even remember telling him that I got a part in the musical, but I guess he assumed. I’m now avoiding him so I don’t have to deal with him, so that’s always fun! 

Oh, how lovely! Personally, from one ambitious family to another, having Fathers brimming with support, advice and constructive criticism has always been a blessing in disguise. Not only do we inherit their superior genes in terms of overwhelmingly talented, but we also get a vocal trainer, dance coach, biggest fan and parent all intertwined in one! As for your Fathers knowledge of your role in the Musical, it’s likely he heard through the grapevine; the Broadway online and offline community is thriving with gossip at all times, after all. I’d suggest embracing the dynamic it appears you have with your Father - not all children are as fortunate or lucky as we are.

When it comes to feeling ill, sometimes all you need is some Pepto-Bismol and a copy of Barbra Streisand in a Star is Born.

Wait… really?

Unless you’ve changed your mind, of course. 

Is MySpace still on the internet? Like, if I were to go look it up right now would I actually find a functional website with people who log into it?

Can’t argue there. The glee club defiles the truth every day when they act like your talent makes you bearable.

Of course it’s still on the internet; you can click the link right HERE and be directed to it. Although the rise of competing social media websites have meant that the MySpace awareness has faltered slightly, you can be rest assured my profile is still very much so active and thriving!

I’ll make out with you again if you stop talking.

If you think I’d be swayed by the possibility of a repeat performance of our last encounter, then you would be absolutely right. You’re on.

Look who clicked on her sparkly shoes and found her way back to Kansas. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that while you are an insufferable annoying Gabriella Montez with less striking features who I tune out after five minutes, you certainly ain’t no quitter. My respect for you has gone from negative ten to one.

As insulted as I am at being linked with a character such as Gabriella when the iconic character of Sharpay Evans exists, I suppose there are worse things to be called. It’s refreshing to know that the scoreboard that I’m only now being made aware of its existence has now been taken out of the negatives and now there’s the possibility of rising through the ranks - which is inevitable. How are you, Bree? 

PUCK: Alright it kinda started out as a joke but like, forreal, a beach trip sounds nice as hell.

PUCK: I know a dude in the Outer Banks who would fo sure rent to me as long as I plug the place with a rager on insta

PUCK: who’s in?

RACHEL: Aprils Fools day was thirty eight days ago, Noah; it appears as though you missed it by quite a mile.

Welcome back, Rachel! I don’t blame you for needing a little social media vacation after all of the stress from auditions, or with all your glee club stuff popping up. I only had a single audition and still felt like I could slip into a coma afterward.

Thank you for telling me to audition for Cady, by the way.

Thank you, Marley, I’m thrilled to be back! Sometimes taking a vacation from the online world can be a lot more productive than originally assumed. How have you been?

What exactly is it that you do that keeps you so busy as a high school student, if you don’t mind me asking? I don’t mean to be rude it’s just hard to fathom your schedule could be so busy when you haven’t graduated yet.

Hello, Jane! My daily routine, overwhelming potential and ambition combined with a dazzling zest for life has meant that my schedule is brimming with life - regardless of the fact that I ‘haven’t graduated yet’. I’m a little confused at your apparent disregard for all of the other hobbies, extracurricular activities, personal life activities and other commitments that one may face while during High School? My day starts promptly at 5AM and ends at exactly ten o’clock in the evening, with little to no social medias other than Tumblr (to access my fellow Glee Clubbers and recruit for new members!) and MySpace (where I post weekly videos promptly without fail every Thursday evening if you’re interested in following me!). I’m the Captain of sixteen different clubs at McKinley, while simultaneously being a member of another eight different Clubs on top of that. My GPA has to remain firmly at 3.86 if I want any kind of chance of escaping the biting clutches of Lima, Ohio. I’m also a tutor for ten students (seven of whom wish to remain anonymous due to a irrational fear of being associated with me), whom I give weekly lessons to. All of this is involved within the High School setting. Outside of McKinley, I’m an active member of Amil Tellers-Encore Theater, which is a Community Based Theater in Lima Ohio, as well as a volunteer at several theater groups teaching the Arts to those unfortunate enough to have lost funding within their High Schools. I’ve memorized the entire Sondheim, Hammerstein and Swartz collections, as well as remaining up to date with the latest charts, just in case Mr. Schuester decides on a particular number one week. I have weekly vocal, acting, ballet and tap dancing lessons, as well as private lessons with Brittany in order to remain firmly ahead of the game and prepared for our impending win at Regionals. This is all done while nursing a sexuality crisis, making sense of the fact that my ex-boyfriend has supposedly lost his virginity to somebody else not a week after we broke up and continuously being questioned and ridiculed by my fellow peers.

Rachel, you talk too much. But I can’t lie and say it’s not kind of awesome that you’re back. Whenever you get slushied for being you, I have a bag of my mom’s clothes in my locker.

It’s refreshing to see a student at McKinley with some sense. In my defense, having a mind brimming with exciting and dynamic thoughts can mean that my word count may be drastically higher than my peers, but I hardly view it as a negative attribute. You do?

You should let me be a part of all of this ‘regionals’ nonsense, since you all seem to be oh-so-busy with this musical jazz. I’m quite the talent, and I can really put on a show. My daddy’s ex-fiance was a stripper, so I know a few moves.

Or at least the number to said strip club. The girls there were so nice, I’m sure they’d be happy to accompany us on stage.

I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch your name? Regionals is a serious competition, so if you’re interested in being part of the New Directions, we’re looking for committed and ambitious members, rather than those callously labeling it ‘nonsense’.

Can it George R. R. Martin. Nobody’s got time to read novels of this length. We’re all abnormally busy.

I gotta say, Berry, I’m impressed. You actually @’d me instead of talkin’ shit behind my back like most of the losers around here. I’ve got a new hashtag idea! Let’s get it trending! #BerrysGotBalls! #BerrysGotBalls! #BerrysGotBalls!

While I’m sure your comparison to George R. R. Martin was meant to have been a cutting comment intended to insult, but I hardly see anything insulting being compared alongside the likes of such a successful individual. Although my preferences would tend to largely be alongside the likes of Barbra Streisand or Miss Patti LuPone, I suppose this is a positive step in the direction of recognizing my extraordinary talent and potential, so I thank you for your relentless faith in my abilities and promise not to let you or my fourteen other MySpace followers/fans down! 

FINN: for the last freaking time i didn't. i'm a freaking virgin! do you want me to scream it from the stupid rooftops?