The Future Is Female

First night of summer of the McCarthy parents aren’t in town so that means I’m on the search for an adventure or a good party. Anybody have suggestions? I’m down for anything! This summer is going to be absolutely amazing, I can feel it in my bones. Somebody has to have something up their sleeve to get this summer vacation off to a bang.

I hear Noah Puckerman put together a weekend getaway, and Karofsky seems to be planning on trashing his father’s house. If neither of those interest you, might I suggest throwing a party of your own? I just think a lot of people will need you and your sister’s positive attitudes to get out of their slump considering some of them suffered a Regionals loss.

Is anybody else super excited for summer break!? I know it was a bummer that we lost at Regionals, but we’re gonna come back even stronger next year, so it’s okay! Especially if I get a competition solo or Mase and I get a duet. I’d say a solo for Mase too, but I don’t want to be too greedy, you know? Anyway! It’s time to do a complete 180 and make this summer the most fun ever! Hopefully you guys are on the same hype train as me!

Sorry about the loss, Madison, but if what Bree said is true, then at least you have a win to fall back on with the Cheerios. So congratulations to that along with managing to remain positive and keeping your head up in times like this. Your cheerful attitude is infectious as it is inspiring so I might rethink my decision to forgo auditioning when school starts back up.

Beach Plan is officially a go, amigos. I got a house booked for 06/01, and admission is $50 for the week. Get me the money, and pick your room on the website. I’m thinkin’ we’re booking for 2 to a room, so pick your partner too, I guess. It’s buy-your-own food, but we’re gonna carpool, so it’ll save some money for everybody to pitch in for gas.

I see a lot of flaws in this plan, but in an attempt to not be a buzzkill, I’m just going to say that I can’t wait. If I give you $100, can I get my own room? I have a feeling that it’ll be the best option for me moving forward.

As much as I’m going to miss summers hanging out and camping and swimming and everything else that summer is for, it looks like a decent part of my summer is going to be spent indoors this year. With books. Earning money. Because I finally got the green light to have a summer job! If you’re ever in the same neighborhood as ‘As The Page Turns’, I’ll be there to help you out.

I’m happy to hear you’ve found your dream summer job. Some people haven’t been that lucky, I’m afraid. Anyway I’d love to stop by at some point and maybe talk favorite authors with you if you have the time. I owe my cousin an undetermined amount of daily lattes so I’ll be at the Lima Bean often.

It’s going to be a pretty good summer. Less mouth-breathing posers in my face. More pool parties. Plus my dad is leaving on a summer-long business trip and leaving behind all his pricy liquor. Needless to say, Dave Karofsky should be on all of your party invite lists. 

I’d ask why not just throw a party on your own and invite whoever you want, but that’s a dumb question.

The Regionals loss sucks, but we always have next year. At least it’s summer now. My parents, well my mom, has decided she’s forcing us to spend Memorial Day weekend at the lake house we have. Family bonding or whatever. Would anyone like to save me from that? Please. I’d rather avoid any and all awkward conversations and forced family dinners.

I can’t really offer anything helpful besides the ear of someone who’s had her fair share of forced family dinners. Might I suggest inviting a close friend to join you? Someone you could use as an excuse to get away from your family while still ‘bonding’ with your family?

Jeez, I really thought that everyone read ‘pet sitter’ as, like, someone watching a dog or a cat. But, no, I’m spending my first weekend as a pet sitter pet sitting a chinchilla. Like a real life chinchilla. A really spoiled one from Westerville at that, he has like a bedazzled dust-bath ball and a collar and everything. I have extreme doubt in my abilities to take care of a chinchilla. But I am getting paid $10 an hour….so I guess you can call me Dottie ‘The Chinchilla Whisperer’ Kazatori. 

Well, yes, that would make more sense to think generally when hiring a pet-sitter considering any other animals that aren’t cats, dogs, or rabbits require the sitter to at the very least own or have been around that specific animal; but then again, when someone hires a babysitter, they’re usually not watching an actual infant so I don’t really know what else to say here.

I have finally finished crying and scrapbooking about how much this past school year meant to me. I’m ready to relax and enjoy my summer. Haha just kidding, now I need to start SAT prep and planning my big Tina Cohen-Chang rebrand. Greatness doesn’t sleep, folks. And Tina Cohen-Chang 2.0 is pursuing just that.

Can I just say that I’m loving this energy? You’re an inspiration to us all, Tina. If only some of our peers would take part in rebranding. It’s clear some people could use some adjusting for the future benefit of not only everyone around them, but also themselves. As for me, I’m working on being less logical so I guess you can see how well that’s going.

Holding a Regionals trophy is exactly how I knew my school year would have ended, so sorry some of y’all can’t relate. 

Though, it comes as less of a shock when Sue Sylvester’s known for having a winning streak, I’d still like to congratulate you on winning Regionals. I’m hoping that ‘taking care of’ means you’ll be contributing towards someone’s well being, but as we both know, that isn’t exactly your style. I can only hope that bailing you out won’t cost too much.