I like tacos.

Dm: "After some time adventuring and quest. The party stops by a beautiful lake to do a bit of fishing and relaxing."

Barbarian: "I'm hungry."

Fighter: "There's whitefish in the cooler."

Monk: "Well, how did that get there?"

Fighter: "I pulled it outta here before you's got here."

Monk: "No, you never."

Fighter: "Did too."

Monk: "No, you never."

Fighter: "Did too."

Monk: "No, you never. If you did you'd still be talking about it."

Fighter: "Oh yeah, well, where'd it come from then?"

Monk: "Well, you brought it from the market."

Barbarian: "Well, there's nothin's even to cooks it on anyways."

Fighter: "You gonna let that stop you?"

Barbarian: "What do you mean?"

Fighter: "Haven't you ever heard of sashimis?"

Barbarian: "Sashimis?"

Monk: "Oh, I got time for sashimis."

Fighter: "What about sushis?"

Barbarian: "Sushis?"

Monk: "Oh, I got so much time for sushis."

Fighter: "Yeah, we should pull it out and hack it up and down the hatch."

Barbarian: "Oh no, I knows what it is, I just I just don't think you needs to put an "s" on the end to that word."

Monk: "Hey, Fighter, you ever had sushis with shrimps?"

Fighter: "Yeah. You ever had sushis with unagis?"

Monk: "Yeah."

Fighter: "That's eels."

Monk: "Oh, I know that's eels."

Barbarian: "I just I'm pretty sure you don't needs an "s" to pluralize those words."

Monk: "Hey, Fighter, you ever had sashimis with salmons?"

Fighter: "Oh, yeah."

Monk: "You ever had sashimis with tunas?"

Fighter: "Yeah."

Monk: "With wasabis?"

Fighter: "Oh, yeah."

Monk: "Love wasabis."

Fighter: "I like wasabis, too."

Barbarian: "If I asks you politely to stop this, would you do it?"

Monk: "Oh, you can have yellowfin tunas, bluefin tunas."

Fighter: "I think tunas make the best sashimis."

Barbarian: "I thinks I'm having a panics attack."

Monk: "Well, the Elves call the bluefin tunas maguro tunas, those are kind of like the default tunas that they use in sushis."

Fighter: "Yeah, but toro is a more expensive tuna but it makes the best sashimis."

Monk: "Oh, it's way better than salmons."

Barbarian: "Can we please stop adding "s" to the end of those words?"

*A little away from the fishing group.*

Druid: *Sunbathing.* "You ever wonder what they talk about when we're not around?"

Cleric: *Sunbathing* "Nope."

Gm: "After the shopping trip. Druic, Cleric, and Monk find themselves walking back to the campsite."

Cleric: "Druid?"

Druid: "Yeah?"

Cleric: "You and Ranger have been married for a while now."

Druid: "Yeah, why?"

Cleric: "Well, he seems kinda dorky sometimes. What was it like when he proposed to you?"

Druid: "Well it was like..."

*Flashback to Druid and Ranger laying in bed."

Druid: *sighs* "That was amazing, Ranger."

Ranger: "Well at least one of us enjoyed ourselves."

Druid: "EXCUSE ME!?"

Ranger: "I'm sorry! I can't turn it off! I'm broken! Please fix me."

Druid: "Wow. That was... ALMOST kind of romantic."

Ranger's Left Brain: "Dude, what are you doing! We're blowing this!"

Ranger's Right Brain: "Well what were we supposed to say? We don't even know what made her like us in the first place!"

Ranger's LB: "Fine, fine. Just calm down. The hard part's over."

Ranger's RB: "So long as she doesn't throw us any curve balls, I think we're good."

Druid: "Soooo, what should we do now?"

Ranger's LB: "FUCK!"

Ranger's RB: "What the hell is she talking about?! What comes after sex?!"

Ranger's LB: "I don't know! I've never gotten this far!."

Ranger's RB: "Well she asked us a question, so we have to say something!"

Ranger's LB: "Look! Just... Just. Say. Anything!"

Ranger's RB: "Anything?"

Ranger's LB: "ANYTHING! Just... say it with confidence."

Ranger's RB: *Whimpers* "Alright... Here goes nothing..."

Ranger: "We should get married."

Ranger's LB: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ranger's RB: "What? You said say anything!"

Ranger's LB: "Anything except THAT, obviously!"

Ranger's RB: "I'm sorry! I don't work well under pressure!"

Ranger's LB: *sighs* "You know what? It's fine. Forget it. We'll just play it off as a joke."

Ranger's LB: "No harm done."

Druid: "Yes. Let's do it!"

Ranger's LB: "YOU FOOL! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!!!"

Ranger's RB: "Hey, uh, she seems pretty happy about it! Maybe she knows something we don't."

Druid's LB: "Bitch, why the fuck did you say yes?!"

Druid's RB: "I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWW!!!"

*Flash foward*

Cleric: "Ummm... That sounds romantic."

Druid: *Dreamily* "Yeah."

Denethor: "I'd like you to meet my son, Boromir.

Gm: "After your little steak conversation. Half the group is enjoying some ale and steaks while the other half is doing... What again?"

Ranger: "Clothes shopping? They went shopping for clothes?"

Paladin: "Yep."

Ranger: "And Monk willingly went with them? He wasn't taken hostage, threatened, or bribed?"

Paladin: "He was kind of bribed. Like I said, your wife said something about Cleric needing some help and off he went."

Barbarian: "Poor bastard. I can only imagine what kind of horrors they're putting him through."

Gm: "Meanwhile, back in town."

Monk: *Sitting on a stool.* "I'm doing what again?"

Druid: "Cleric and I are going try on this new clothing called thongs and you're going to tell us how they look."

Gm: "Meanwhile. Back at camp."

Ranger: "Poor fool. I'm glad I'm not him right now."

Gm: "Meanwhile. Back in town."

Cleric: "Hey Druid, they have something called a Lingerie. We should try those on too."

Druid: "Okay." *Turning to Monk* "Stay here and we'll be right back."

Monk: "Okay, this better be worth the trip."

Druid: "Trust me. You'll love every minute of it."

Gm: "Meanwhile. Back at camp."

But instead of kissing someone you don't like in a closet.

GM: "After a few weeks of back to back questing and side questing. The group is taking a much needed break and have built a nice fire in a clearing outside of town."

Ranger: "Where's everyone at?"

Paladin: "Your wife and Cleric went to town to spend some gold on clothes."

Ranger: "And Monk?"

Paladin: "Druid mentioned that Cleric might need helping carrying stuff and off he went. I'm beginning to think he has a thing for Cler-"

Ranger: "Yeah yeah. That's nice. Check these baby's out." *Pulling out a wrapped package.*

Barbarian: *Walking up to the campfire* "Whatcha got?"

Ranger: "100% pure organic, grass-fed, Triple A Calberta beef."

Paladin: "Better believe that's 'Berta beef."

Barbarian: *Pointing to another package* "Whatcha got there? Top sirloins?"

Ranger: "Yeah, the Waterdeep's are grain-fed."

Paladin: "Three times the omega-3's in grass-fed."

Ranger: "Bought and paid for."

Paladin: "Well, you're gonna want 'em aged if they're top sirloins."

Barbarian: "Pump the brakes. Two things. One. We'll let those sit for 10 to 15 minutes till they're room temperature. Two. Where's the salt and pepper, bud?"

Ranger: "Don't you start."

Barbarian: "S and P, the choice for me."

Ranger: "I paid a C-hair just shy of 20S for each of these suckers and I will not be told how to cook 'em."

Barbarian: "You paid 20S a piece for 'Berta beef?"

Ranger: "Only 'Berta beef."

Barbarian: "Well, no guff. But I wouldn't pay 20S apiece for Evereska wagyu."

Ranger: "Always 'Berta beef."

Barbarian: "Hard yes. But I wouldn't pay 20S apiece for Loudwater wagyu."

Paladin: "Gonna want a rib eye if it's a wagyu."

Ranger: "One-inch thick top sirloin. Grill at 400. Four minutes a side. Down the hatch."

Barbarian: "You are messing up, bud."

Ranger: "That's textbook."

Barbarian: "Not without the S and P."

Ranger: "Those fine ranchers in Calberta'd be a C-hair away from not sendin' it here if they knew you were sprinklin' salt all over the suckers."

Barbarian: "You're a C-hair away from gettin' socked, good buddy."

Paladin: "Forgotten Realms steak & spice really should be a part of this conversation."

Barbarian: "One-inch thick top sirloin steak. Salt and pepper heavily. Grill at 400. Four minutes total. Flip each minute to get the good grill marks. Let sit for two minutes. Down the hatch."

Ranher: "Flip twice?"

Barbarian: "Grill marks, bud."

Ranger: "Sacrilege."

Barbarian: "I will have Paladin Holy Strike you."

Ranger: "Blasphemy."

Barbarian: "Do you wanna get striked?"

Paladin: "Finish the whole thing off with a real nice herbs and garlics butter."

Barbarian: "Don't mess up my steak dinner, Ranger!"

Paladin: "Any decent chef will tell you, you don't even want to let those things touch the grill. Make it dryer than a Sand Elemental. What you wanna do is pan sear it, both sides, finish her off in the oven."

Barbarian: "Well, see, now that sounds like over-handling to me."

Ranger: "Yeah. You'd be over-handling them, Paladin."

Barbarian: "Well, he'd be Paladan'dling it."

Paladin: "Oh, yeah. Me and Dwarven Ramsay are both morons."

Barbarian: "You wanna know what? Meet half way."

Ranger: "All right, no S and P, flip twice."

Barbarian: "Good. Rare to medium rare."

Ranger: "Medium rare."

Barbarian: "Deal."

Ever wonder how to play Seven Nation Army on the bass guitar? Here you go, the entire song.

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The characters you write are more than just their race, gender, or sexual orientation.

What are their hopes? Their dreams? Their likes and dislikes?

Write a character with some personality. Some flaws. You know... An actual person.

Sure your character is super attractive and is good at a ton of things but maybe they have an annoying habit of never never never using contractions... Ever. And it's just annoying enough where people like him/her but they can't stand it because the character sound like they're trying really hard to sound super proper.

That would make for interesting character I would like to read about.

I bring this up because I've seen a bunch of writers on here that think if they write a character that is gay, or black, or gender fluid. Then it automatically makes them an interesting character. Sorry to say but it makes your story boring.

Who would you rather read about?

Robert. A guy in his early twenties who likes to cook, go hiking, and day dream about saving the world from an alien threat. Robert lives alone with his cat, Mash Potato. The cat doesn't really do anything but he's super fluffy and likes visiting Robert's next door neighbor who always has a treat.

Or

Pam. She's a bisexual, black trans woman... That's it. There are no other descriptors for her. Her entire character is that she is bisexual. Black. And trans. That is her whole identity.

In other words... Boring.

Now I'm not saying don't write a bisexual, black, trans woman. Go right ahead.

What I'm saying is to give them something more to them than just their race, gender, or sexual orientation. Give me some hobbies, some odd skills, a weird personality trait.

Pixie and Brutus. Part 5.

The Adventures of Pixie and Brutus. Part 4.