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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
YOU ARE THE REASON

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Claire Keane
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Not today Justin
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Today's Document
$LAYYYTER

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@express-your-insanity

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after Cliff’s first (he certainly hopes not his last) time with Shane and Ilya he’s not like. totally willing to start self-identifying as anything other than straight. he still loves fucking women but fuck, he’s certainly never going to turn down the opportunity to join those two in bed again, if they ask.
what he does take away from the experience is an appreciation for certain types of people. he finds his attention lingering on blonde curls and freckles and brown eyes and soft looking skin with smatterings of moles. men, women, whoever really- he begins to notice the patterns.
it’s at some league event where Cliff meets this absolute fox of a woman. yeah, okay- she reminds him of Shane which really does it for him- but she’s fucking sharp and seems to know eeeverything about hockey- which, also hot- and Cliff becomes a little obsessed with her immediately. he’s always been into older women so that’s another draw. and he keeps running into her at hockey stuff, like, way too regularly to be a coincidence so he starts thinking, yeah ya know what? I’m Cliff fucking Marleau I can ask out this sexy older woman, I fucking pull, dude I can do anything-
anyway that’s the story of how Cliff got rejected by Shane’s mom.
world peace or go to paris with cliff & ilya
so hollanov take cliff out, like a restaurant or a quiet music bar and cliff can't take his eyes of shane so Ilya corners him (in a sexy way) and asks 'aww marly are you jealous??? stop murdering him with your eyes, I'm your best friend forever I promise'
and cliff looks him dead in the eye saying 'what the fuck? I'm not jealous of you, rozanov,' smiling 'i want to fuck your husband'
Cliff Marleau would accidentally get an apartment in the gay district of Boston, purely because that’s where all the bros seemed to be. Plus his favorite gym is there and the bar where dudes buy him drinks.

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i can’t stop thinking about ilya clubbing circa 2011. diesel jeans, shitty prada button up, hair absolutely CRISPY with gel. cliff marleau on his left tricked out head to toe in ed hardy. cloud of fucking paco robanne in the booth. cîroc with a sparkler sticking out of the neck. “this my fucking song, marly!” and it’s david guetta’s ‘where them girls at.’ he’s so drunk, he’s so loud, he’s got the drips, he’s spent $2300 in two hours. no one knows he’s gonna be gay married in ten years. i have to cry!
oh my god why did i just fucking realize. cliff marleau SAVED hollanov. ilya was hammering the nails in his own coffin and was gonna put in the final one THAT NIGHT after the game. his stupid ass was gonna end it. this is not communicated in the show but in the book he was about to pull the fucking trigger.
BUT THEN MY MAN, HEATHCLIFF MARLEAU, LAID SHANE HOLLANDER SMOOOOOV OUT WITH HIS BIG BEAUTIFUL BODY AND BROKE HIS COLLARBONE AND CANCELLED THEM PLANS AND SENT THAT COFFIN STRAIGHT TO THE WOODCHIPPER
EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND SAY THANK YOU CLIFF MARLEAU!!!!!!!! WE OWE YOU EVERYTHING KING!!!!!!!!!!!
Clifr Marleau starts campaigning to be traded to a Canadian team specifically to be able to (legally) smoke up with his bro (Ilya).
Svetlana is Ilya's best man at his wedding and Marly just has to live with that.
I’d treat cliff well. he’d be allowed on the furniture

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my close personal friend cliff marleau and his sexuality crisis thats more like a sexuality presence. in a “hes standing right behind me, isnt he?” way
He’ll make one very lucky woman very happy one day, reads the first comment under Shane Hollander’s four minute workout video. Cliff can’t help but agree. Watching those arms strain and bend and bulge is mesmerizing. Hollander keeps things private, but he has no doubt the guy fucks like a champion. He is one.
Man, that really would be something. All that strength focused and locked onto a single point. All that determined, measured energy slowly eroding until he lost his composure. Something similar to when he drops gloves, but more so, drawn out longer, a bigger climax.
He wonders how good Hollander is with his tongue. Wonders if he knows, as Roz puts it, how satisfying getting his head squeezed between someone’s thighs feels.
Siri is it possible to get pregnant from a video, read another comment. Cliff briefly imagines that, puts away his phone, and finishes getting ready for tonight’s game.
-'I have never known hunger' chapter four
cliff marleau and ilya rozanov are best friends not because they’re teammates or marleau was assigned to look after roz when he first got to the raiders, but because, even though it takes so much alcohol to get him drunk, when ilya gets drunk he can only be described as white girl wasted and marly is the EXACT same way. they are in the mens bathroom in front of the mirror like “is my shirt unbuttoned enough for people to look at my tits?” “yeah man your boobs look GREAT! can you tell me if these jeans look good on my ass i think i saw a girl eying me” “marly your ass looks phenomenal and you can trust me on this as i am a well known ass man” “aw man rozzy you’re making me blush”
they share clothes all of the time, not even really on purpose, they just spend so much time hungover together that things get muddled. this isn't a problem until marley sees shane hollander, wearing his shirt??? obviously he immediately accuses ilya of cheating on him (partying without inviting him to join). shane is visibly devastated, ilya is frantically explaining, and thats how marley is the first person in the nhl to learn about hollanov
when he leaves the raiders cliff gets ilya a girls trip-esque t shirt that says "good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to OTTAWA ONTARIO" and he cries

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ilya has definitely lit marly's cig for him and told him 'pretty girls don't light their own cigarettes'
Cliff's trade to Ottawa definitely comes with its share of awkward moments as Cliff learns to exist casually in a space occupied by Shane Hollander but Cliff does eventually adjust and comes to like Shane. Like, the guy is definitely what Cliff's grandma would call 'squirrelly' but Cliff's grandma had also never shown any meaningful sign that she truly believed that the Cold War was over, so. Grains of salt.
So it's not super weird when Shane texts him and asks him to meet at a nearby coffee shop
(Shane: Hi Marleau, this is Shane Hollander-Rozanov, I was wondering if we could meet at [copy-pasted Google Maps link] so that I can talk to you about Ilya's birthday
Cliff: 👍
Ilya, later: Can I spit on it
Cliff: Later baby I have plans with your man
Ilya: Lol.
Ilya, later when Shane actually leaves to 'meet someone': You will never satisfy him.)
Anyway the point of all of this is Cliff walks into a coffee shop that takes itself a little too seriously and sits down across from Shane who already has a little notebook in front of him with a black coffee.
After brief greetings and after Cliff orders his own coffee (They are all named after Canadian cities. It's a really pretentious coffee shop) he sits down and Shane immediately says, "I was wondering if you could tell me some of the things that you and Ilya did when you went to Paris together."
Cliff's mind implodes.
"Uh."
"I've never been and I want to do something to make up for the fact that our thirtieth birthdays were kind of overshadowed by," Shane gestures expansively to euphamistically refer to the whole outing-to-marriage ordeal of last spring and summer. "And he's mentioned that you guys went to Paris together back in 2014 to celebrate your Cup win. Did he enjoy it? Or do you think he wouldn't want to go back?"
"Uh," says Cliff as he frantically texts Ilya under the table. "Yeah. He loved it."
(COME GET YOUR MAN BIG DAWG THIS IS NOT A DRILL.)
"Great!" Shane clicks his pen. "What did you guys do while you were there?"
"Uh. We...ate out."