hannah's OC blog @explorerspack - Tumblr Blog

~introductions~

hello! you may know me as @drinkingdeadpeopletea or @storybook-souls; this is the blog where i talk about my own ttrpg campaigns and characters. inbox and also messages are open at ALL times i cannot stress enough how much i love to talk about dnd.

games i currently play in:

MEGadungeon (#c:megadungeon): A voice fifth edition dungeon crawl/political intrigue game about seeking out treasure and knowledge in the massive ruins of a fallen empire. I currently play Zahra (#cha:zahra), a clockwork sorcerer (6), and Conrad Sabel (#cha:conrad), a monster slayer ranger (6), and there is a LINE of dead/retired characters behind me including but not limited to Arcis Petrova (#cha:arcis), an abjuration wizard (6), Salvador Romero (#cha:salvador), a spirits bard (7), Alessi di Nicolo (#cha:alessi), an order cleric (6), and Marigold Glenfellow Dell’Emarginato (#cha:marigold), an inquisitive rogue (3).

Project Neosynthesis (#c:neosynthesis): A Monster of the Week game about three former experimentation subjects and one former scientist who had a change of heart escaping from a sinister and secretive genetic augmentation project. I play Dr. Emma Scott (#cha:emma), an Expert who became aware of the full extent and horrific abuses of her employer a few months ago and decided to help rescue as many people as she could.

past games:

#2025 update!

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secret bonus item on my end of megadungeon to-do list called "reach a satisfying narrative conclusion for both of my characters" no one tell my gm

#c:megadungeon #cha:zahra #cha:conrad #it's pretty easy to do for conrad. right now he's trying to die in the dungeon.#he's a 'leave no man behind' kinda guy but his teammates keep dying right in front of him #with striga being the most crushing one #and then he met arturivaxor and understood everything he never understood back in eisen. and then he heard the end of the world song.#and well! as far as he's concerned it's the end of the world #they're going to go into the palace they're going to free the dragons and he's not going to leave any man behind. and that's the ending!#zahra's much harder.#she wanted to coup SO bad. she wasn't sold on it until the moment she realized she couldn't dismiss the brass man #and then EVERYTHING became about revenge for that #and now we're NOT COUPING?#that was going to be her TRIUMPH....her MOMENT.....she was going to look solare in the eyes and take his company....#and she LIKES adventuring! she likes the adrenaline! she misses the dungeon!#she's not really READY to get off the ride. she's not sure she WANTS to end the dream.#there's a big missing scene here where someone (and i think it MUST be elio) talks her into giving up on the coup and going along w this #maybe i'll write it.#because that's the thing! we end the dream? we DESTROY the light. we use it to destroy it.#and we retire safe and powerful and richer than god. and that's winning. that's the revenge.#but idk. i'm still thinking about it.

and she doesn't even know she's a sleeper agent.

#cha:emma #c:neosynthesis #powerlessness/loss of agency arcs. man. i'm UPSET!#emma spent two weeks having psychics and a former amiable coworker picking through her brain #taking information that was the only valuable thing she had left and could have been her only leverage. and she couldn't do anything.#even though she certainly TRIED to come up with ways to close off her mind or fill it with other thoughts or with misinformation #which probably wasn't a painless or easy endeavor based on how psychic probing is usually described in this game #and was ultimately useless anyway! she couldn't even put up enough of a fight for it to be worth threatening the lives of the others #to get her to comply. they could just take what they wanted.#and the whole time she KNEW that they led neosynthesis directly to the sanctuary. she doesn't know how! but CLEARLY she missed something.#everyone trusted her to be smart and paranoid enough to make sure they wouldn't get caught! but she missed something.#(she missed that they might have done something to HER. surely they wouldn't do that to HER? and if they did surely she would know!)#i just can't get over the complete lack of wiggle room. 'they don't need your compliance' like liam said! director shrike's not here and #ryan's dead and cotton's giving her NO room to negotiate and she hasn't SEEN anyone else #so she was powerless to stop what happened to her in the last 2 weeks and she was powerless to stop neosynthesis from catching them #and she was powerless to do anything to help ash or kenny or natsumi or the others from the sanctuary even tho she guessed they were alive #couldn't even let them know SHE was alive #and she was powerless to stop the alien bug. and it's beginning to dawn on her that triffany didn't make it out in one piece.#and she's never experienced being so totally unable to control a situation before! (at least not that she can remember grimacing emoji)#taylor and mer are experiencing the roleplay challenge of being Back Here but i'm experiencing the roleplay challenge of being Here For The #First Time at least in the way that counts. and i'm still not sure what to do with it!#and. again. all this and there's the sword hanging over all our heads knowing as players that emma has a switch in her brain #that has been used to take total control from her before and could possibly be used to do so again!#i think if she gets a chance to compare notes with kenny and ash and realize that they remember feeling drowsy and falling asleep #while in her mind it's just an abrupt switch to total blackness #she might realize what happened. but I'M not going to prompt that conversation because once she realizes idk what i'm gonna DO--#plus we um. well like taylor said we have bigger more extraterrestrial problems at the moment.#anyway. gonna go loop 'posession (interlude)' by clipping and 'piano that may not be played that well' from deltarune a few more times.#god this is all compelling as fuck. more self-assured and purpose-driven and confident to the point of arrogance characters should have #their agency ripped from them and be forced to work against their own goals and their own allies and i'm ALWAYS saying this.

anyway. sometimes you have to do the stupid thing!

#c:neosynthesis #cha:emma #i really considered having emma agree to do atrocities in the name of saving humanity. i really really considered it.#and liam's right my original conception of her probably WOULD have #and i do think that would have been awesome in a totally different way #but um. the thing is 'i can't imagine the deaths of 4 billion people' 'neither can i' but she CAN see the people in the facility.#and even more than that now - she can see her friends!#and THAT'S heart over head. that's when you can't make yourself follow the numbers game even if in a thought experiment #you'd probably CLAIM that you would.#NOT TO MENTION UM. fuck doctor shrike.#triffany talks a lot about emma being too smart for neosynthesis's bullshit and often that's not true #but in THIS case. emma took her 48 sleepless hours to think and came to the conclusion that shrike can't be trusted #she believes most of what he said--she SAW that code and it DOES make everything make more sense--#but there's no way there isn't another option. one that gets less people hurt and killed.#either shrike doesn't want to take it or he hasn't thought of it. but emma might <3 #and she definitely went 'hang on once you'd produced your superman why were you STILL imprisoning ppl and hurting them enough that they #felt they had to run from you and take the kid with them????'#so it was partly 'i don't want you to mess with my mind' and partly 'i can't be part of a plan that will do things that are this awful' and #partly just 'i do not trust everything you've said and i certainly don't trust you to minimize the harm of this'#and all of that DID go through my head in that long long pause.#if she really trusted him and had known about the threat for a while before this plan got brought up #then this might have gone VERY differently #and if/when emma learns about what happened to her. well. i think she might assume she volunteered for it!#because there's a part of her that could have. but she didn't. and it didn't change a damn thing.#triffany still died* and everyone else still got captured again. including people who'd been safe for years.#THIS IS GOING TO BE SO BAD!!!!!!!!!! i'm having the time of my FUCKING life.

it seems unlikely that zahra or conrad will get a chance to talk to akla-cha (sentient "wellness" AI from outer space that we encountered in megadungeon) (no neither we as players nor the megadungeon characters knew there were aliens until a couple months ago tysm for asking) especially since neither of them speak old imperial but i wrote down their answers to the "psychological questionnaire" last time anyway because i thought it was fun.

How many times have you submitted a coupling request to the Demographic Services Bureau? Zahra: "Zero" Conrad: "Zero"

What is your current social role, and how many terms have you served in it? Have you had any previous social roles? What is your desired social role? Zahra: "Current social roles are Member of the Hush, Floor Manager at Beacon House, Board Member of The Light. One term in each. Previous social role, slave. Desired social role, member of the Hush, as an independently powerful faction in Capitol." Conrad: "Adventurer with the Hush. One? Undead hunter. Adventurer."

What was the reported reason for your first behavioral citation? Zahra: "Defiance." Conrad: essentially the 1500s Eisen equivalent of "Hunting without a license"

You are walking through the crystalline salt forests when you suddenly look down. You are crushing a nest of eggs. Why are you crushing the eggs? Zahra: "I probably didn't see them." Conrad: "I must have thought they were dangerous."

A farmer travels across a field and encounters a nemhour beast. He flees, the beast pursuing close behind. Coming to a precipice, he catches hold of the root of a wild vine and swings himself down over the edge. The nemhour beast waits for him above, flicking its tongue. Trembling, the farmer looks down to where, far below, another nemhour beast is waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustains him. Two laeddas, one white and one brown, start to little by little gnaw away the vine. The farmer, moving to swat them away, sees a luscious gem-berry sprouting from the vine. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucks the berry with the other and eats it. Why does he eat the berry? Why does he not share the berry with the laeddas? Zahra: "He wanted something sweet before he died." Conrad: "So the animals wouldn't want to chew on the vine."

Without thinking of "good" or "evil," what was your original face before your parents hatched? Zahra: "It was in the stars." Conrad: "The same as any animal."

A pilgrim called up to the stylite Melok-Viv: Without a thought, is there still a sin? The master replied: A nemhour beast! Why did the master reply like that? Zahra: "To confuse him." Conrad: "Maybe only a nemhour beast would ask that question."

#this one is mostly just for my party #c:megadungeon #cha:zahra #cha:conrad #but also everyone read the cool questions.#i love you akla-cha's psychological questionnaire.

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like. man!!!! it's all about "you can stop at any time" and it's about "it's okay, just keep going from here" and it's about "sometimes you have to do things that aren't smart"!!!!! god!!!!!!!

#cha:emma #c:neosynthesis #i've just been saying character thesis statements left and right entirely off the cuff for two sessions #we can't be SURPRISED i've gotten myself into an almost entirely doomed situation #emma very sincerely and honestly told ryan exactly what she realized and exactly what she learned:#you can literally stop whenever you want!!!! and of course it ISN'T that simple - emma decided that just stopping wasn't enough #and she needed to execute a 6-month long con and steal a bunch of data and crash a plane. and i give it about a 75% chance #that she will die getting shot by a dozen bullets immediately next session because of it - but on the other hand it IS that simple!#if you look around and find you are doing harm. oh my god you can stop at any time! it doesn't change what you did and doesn't mean #that good will come of it. but you can STOP!#(god it's kinda fucked up that ryan is dead. not the point of this post but. ugh. he could have listened :( )#and 'just keep going from here' is the same sentiment in a different package!#ash apologized for not getting back in time and there isn't time to convince her and kenny of 'don't blame yourself it had to be this way'#emma KNOWS it sucks and they're all going to be upset and they're all going to blame themselves. she knows in a way she's doing something #terrible to all three of them. but they have to keep going from here!#take the guilt and the pain and the anger and keep going from here because here is the only place you are!#and you can't always be smart about it. triffany trusted emma to have a plan but um. she doesn't! bc if she was always did the smart thing.#well. she'd have let the plane go! she may be a genius but she's NOT always a head-first character she's a heart-first character.#would triffany and i have a better chance of both staying alive if we stuck together? yes. but if there's even a CHANCE triffany can make i #without emma--how can she NOT take that chance? same as how she never seriously considered the idea of offering kenny along with herself #in trade even tho i think it might have been smart. it was an uncrossable line!#crashing a plane wasn't smart either! but there are more important things.#man. i HOPE she makes it out of this i'm going to try really really hard.#but if she does get turbo killed immediately at least i will be quite satisfied with how that went down.

motw may be in a harrowing situation but last session was a roleplayer's DREAM for me personally. it's sort of crazy how many boxes that checked.

#c:neosynthesis #cha:emma #got to heal someone up from the brink of death and then reassure him when he was disoriented and upset upon waking up #got to have tense radio negotiations featuring strategic silence&talking to one person while you know a bunch of other people are listening #got to do a sacrifice play that was ALSO somewhat strategic and hasn't even gotten me killed yet #got to establish the 'here's how the rest of you keep going without me even if i don't make it out of here' contingency plan #got to simultaneously reassure and steamroll over kenny and essentially give him a bunch of orders and then walk away <3 #got to have EVERY one of the handful of lines i exchanged with ash be FRAUGHT with meaning #got to get visibly upset with my ex best friend and say some of the things that have been subtextual thus far - got both 'WE did that' and #'they're KIDS!' sentiments in there AND 'you can stop at any time' which i DIDN'T think about beforehand and is still making me craaaaazy #(longer post on that one coming sometime maybe)#got to delicately navigate the entire web of dynamics of being captured by my ex best friend (still cares about me) and nine soldiers #(hate me and want me dead) alongside triffany (person i want to protect most in the world)#got to desperately try to fight past guards much stronger than me to get to triffany when she was being threatened. got to get hurt for it!#got to have a lighthearted but also incredibly fraught conversation with triffany!!!! sometimes you have to do things that aren't smart!#i had SO much fun. i literally had so much fun the entire time. perfect and crazymaking and also incredibly indicative of our relationships #conversations with ALL my party members!!!!!!!!!!! perfect scenarios for doing and saying crazy shit!!!!!!!!! a roleplayer's DREAM!#all thanks to my incredibly talented friends i play with and my INCREDIBLY talented friend and gm.

did NOT realize how badly i need emma to talk to someone else who's former neosynthesis staff until that possibility was suddenly on the table

#c:neosynthesis #cha:emma #this woman NEEDS to have a screaming breakdown and REFUSES to have it in front of the former prisoners she's trying to save #bestie maya get back here. let emma ask you how the hell she's supposed to live with herself #i sort of didn't realize until this session that all her conversations have been either with a) the party who she's putting up a very #particular front with or b) normal people that she's lying to #not that i don't LIKE her 'i am the teacher/camp counselor/director who has it all under control' front and not that i don't feel like #it's SOMEWHAT honest but. there is a LOT going on that is not being expressed #and we've gotten some mad scientist moments which has ALSO been fun but we're not getting the RAGE!#let my girl get MAD...............#nothing has really cracked that front yet because there has yet to be an intra-party argument that she's gotten mad enough about #but one (1) conversation with someone who is not a former experiment....#very exciting that her bestie is coming up too. i think if emma ends up talking to him this mystery it will be a bad! situation #but oooooooooooh i want it. i want her to throw 'how fucking dare you' and 'what the fuck is wrong with you' in his face.#delicious delicious delicious delicious delicious

hoot-h00t

ohhhhhh my god ohmygod oh my god. all timer monster of the week session tonight. holy shit. everyone should be playing ttrpgs with their friends who are very good at what they do.

#SOOOOOOO CRAZYMAKING!!!!!!#I love CHARACTERS I love SITUATIONS I love TOUGH CHOICES!#can you believe triffany was going to kill that guy but then stopped when emma told her not to #can you believe kenny had to kill him anyway like thirty seconds later #can you believe ash killed that girl because well. her or us! and if we got killed she was never gonna get free either!#ash is a reliable kid!#CRAZYMAKING!#c:neosynthesis

long time no blog but we are doing some LAYERED dynamics in the back of the highly-modified getaway RV in my new monster of the week game.

#c:neosynthesis #cha:Emma #it was really a good thing that triffany took over arguing on emma's behalf because emma had NOTHING to say for herself.#she thinks kenny and ash are RIGHT they SHOULDN'T trust her 😭 she spent five years directly participating in the system harming them #and still doesn't understand on an internal level how she let that happen and how it took so long for her to wake up and do something #and then after she switched sides she promptly CRASHED A PLANE and KILLED more people than she saved! of course they shouldn't trust her!#but she also doesn't want to TELL them that because she DOES think their best chance is all together herself included #she KNOWS she's smart she knows she's prepared she knows they have a way better shot with her than they do without her #and she doesn't have the emotional intelligence to realize that leveling with them and saying 'i wouldn't trust me if i were you either #but i'm very good at what i do and i CAN get you to safety if we also get very lucky' might be a good idea #(at least not yet. maybe we'll get there)#so she just falls back on trying to project strength and leadership even though she's sort of disgusted with how empty 'well I promise' is #and 'well I have no choice because they'll kill me too' only inspires so much confidence also #ESPECIALLY because i think she only half believes it. there's still a degree of 'well they won't KILL *me* that's not the danger here' in #her mind even after the eel. an eel is very different from her former coworkers having to look her in the eyes #like. god. kenji was RIGHT she put them in a dangerous situation! against his direct protests and without asking the other two!#and once she realized that neosynthesis was trying to talk to HER she relaxed a little. 'oh this is the play to get us back peacefully'#'and there's no danger of me capitulating so we might as well see what their game is'#forgetting! if only for a moment! about the three people who DON'T know there's no danger of her turning them in!#and even before THAT situation the cruise ship involved several strategic compromises. letting ash take the fall and get captured.#briefly considering a plan where kenji would let himself get wrapped up by the eel and try to escape at the last second #emma's not above putting one person at risk to try and get the situation to the best possible outcome! and well--#god. it makes her so SAD how immediately triffany trusted her :( but she's not gonna DISCOURAGE it #'i'm afraid you've only attached yourself to me because no one's ever treated you with kindness or dignity but you're right i WOULD die #or let myself get captured for you AND i trust my own strategies so as far as i'm concerned it IS a good thing you trust me implicitly'#i like emma so much. she's a genius she hates herself she thinks she's the smartest person in the room and is often right #she cares about people she plays the long game and she's even low-key trying to get herself killed #and kenny's just a KID! he's a KID and a KILLING MACHINE and he's AFRAID--#it's a good thing we have some RV time i need to pull up some files to show kenny i need to go 'heyyy ash can you tell me a little more #about these psychic visions' i need to see how triffany's doing.

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charl0ttan

coffee mug that says dont talk to me until ive at last completed the cycle of violence

#matching team mugs for the hush #when someone dies in the cycle of violence the new guy gets theirs #c:megadungeon

skarchomp

there should be a tarot card called the poisonous lizards and it should symbolize the poisonous lizards

inthefallofasparrow

#cha:salvador

hi everyone it's me again. i just think it's sooooooooo cool how zahra ran away to a wholeass different country to avoid her predestined fate of being a religious figure/political tool in a rising empire only to find herself a tool for like three different factions, allied with a radical religious government, and rapidly amassing power. me when i can't escape the fucking stars.

#YAYYYYYYY #and she keeps walking deeper and deeper into it!#the only way out is through unless the only way out is turning AROUND girl turn AROUND--#but it's too late thumbs up #cha:zahra #c:megadungeon #bet you all forgot this blog existed huh.

tiredandjaded

everything reminds me of her (d&d character from now-defunct campaign)

dinoracle

in loving memory of our dearly departed druid, here’s some of my favorite drawings of Fen

#hi fen :(((((((((#miss you :((((((((((#c:megadungeon

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hi guys i'm posting again. as much as i love playing characters who have a self-preservation instinct it's so much EASIER to play characters who do not have one even at all especially in situations Like This

#cw:fire #c:megadungeon #cha:alessi #or really like alessi thinks they don't NEED a self-preservation instinct bc their saint and their holy purpose is preserving them #but it was so EASY to just be like 'yeah i charge into the burning building yeah i keep going deeper into the fire yeah i grab the searing-#hot door handle. there's a person in there who might possibly still be alive!' i didn't even have to THINK about it #and not even like. not even a person they KNEW especially well just A Person #and they still couldn't actually get her out alive :( but they still gave it all they had and still managed to get her body out #[i'm going to need to take this next two weeks (:() b4 we play to figure out how they feel about that. beyond 'angry at ragnarr']#i was getting a little worried in there tbh! 14 hp is not very much to end up with! but i didn't have to even consider turning around #and alessi wasn't even a little bit worried about it they knew they'd be fine #that's clerics <3 kings of getting into situations and getting other people out of situations and NOT getting themselves out of situations #and it's such a fun contrast w my other active megadungeon guy being salvador who DOES have the hit-da-bricks instinct #was introduced as the sole survivor of a tpk!#and the fun tension that gives w him being a guy who Does walk the edge of death frequently #and who HAS that castillian bravado and that bravery sword and who IS a bit of a risk taker even just for the sake of taking risks #but who also knows when to get the hell out of dodge bc if you want to stay alive you have to keep yourself alive. and for now he'd really #rather like to be alive!#cha:salvador #okay NOW i'm going shopping #love when meg puts me in a situation <3

wow seeing nicki's art gave me that "haha what if i run another game" bug back again :')

#i was so so burnt out by the time we finished sof even tho i was happy with how it ended but now like eight months later...ahaha what if...#i just feel like such a scrub for the fact that the main thing i want to run is still dnd fifth edition but. unfortunately--#but maybe i'll re-read blades. give it a shot.

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