Urban Rock Witchery

CW: suicide

Cue my new tool I’ve been working on: meditation trance to speak with Little Me. Did it in my circle a month ago and it allowed me to connect with my inner child and hold her during some hard relationship feelings that definitely connect to my attachment issues.

Anyway…

I sat on my partners bed a week ago and did it again - this time I walked through the entire day’s events and paused each time Little Me needed to have an emotion or question. There was real crying and a feeling of moving through.

I ended the session imagining her sitting by me on the bed, facing the window. It was so peaceful. An image came to mind for a sketch I would need to do.

Days later…

I was sitting and feeling hopeless for a variety of reasons. My partner suggested that I imagine what my Old Crone self would say to me. As I thought about it, I began to revisit the window sketch in my brain and added my Old Crone putting a hand on me as I sat with Little Me.

When I am struggling with future predictions and hopelessness, I now put my hand on my chest to speak to Little Me and envision Old Crone putting a hand on my back side and saying “It’s okay. You make it through”

Was feeling rather melancholy about the moon the last week - she was never up in the sky when I was looking and I’d started to wonder if I was crazy. I started being cross with her.

I checked the moon app I use and found she was nearly following the sun during the day - too close to be seen over the brightness.

The next night she finally was up after sunset for a bit.

Tonight she did the same and more.

My partner told me the moon was a perfect goddess for me - always changing. As an AuDHD person, I’m both offended and in agreement with her assessment

She disappeared for several nights - always up later than I’d been or hidden behind storms. She shed her brightness without me, only to return with a beautiful smile on her lips. I greeted her lovingly the last two nights and thanked her for her return to her place in the heavens