one of the hottest things in the world is when you’ve been making out with a girl and when you pull away her lips are like slightly more red and they somehow look more puffy and you’re just like wow, how beautiful you are

washing down my antidepressants with a beer

i’m a sexually confused man’s wet dream

you are what you eat but when the fuck did i feast on gay little loser

i hope the only things for which JD vance goes down in history are guyliner and killing the pope

i love rachel zegler, but why’d they have to give her that fuck ass bob?

70% of writing is just the voices™

manifesting is so cute but can we at least acknowledge how much more efficient it is to be a manipulative bitch?

the moon is mother nature’s himbo short king

do u ever see something dumb as shit in one of those snapchat public stories things, and want to see if other people thought it was dumb as shit but you can’t because there are no comments

when you put aside the logistics, i can solve any problem you throw at me.

if elon musk makes people pay to subscribe to twitter or “x”, i’m scared the world will come back here and idk if we can handle 2013 again