#unserious

“No! No, love please! I’ll do anything, just put those away!” Kyle stood before you with his hands out placatingly, vulnerable in just a towel around his waist after a shower.

You were approaching, hands out to place on his neck. “I’m sorry it had to be this way, Kyle.” You say with no remorse in your voice as you back him into a corner.

The screech he lets out once your hands make contact is not dignifying, but it does attract the attention of the others.

Johnny bursts into the room confused, your head whips around, gaze narrowing on a new target.

“No! Johnny! Save yourself while you still can!” He’s sliding down the wall like you shot him.

Johnny understands the situation quickly, fleeing from the room and leaving the door swinging in his wake. You let out a, frankly, evil giggle before following. He’s trying to seek refuge in the rec room, but you’re fast approaching. You tackle him onto the couch, sliding your hands under his shirt and onto the warmth of his chest.

His screech is somehow even more pathetic. You look up to see Simon and John watching in horror.

“Don’t worry, you’re safe. For now.” You flop your head back onto Johnny’s chest as you warm up. You’ll get them when they least expect it later.

It comes when you’re on the couch later, watching a movie. Like always, your extremities are cold. You decided to help yourself to the excess of warmth the boys are emitting, sliding your hands behind Simon’s back and into his shirt, and then your feet under John’s thighs.

Simon’s back arches off the couch trying to escape the icicles you call hands.

“Jeeesus, sweet’eart!”

Do you think Slenderman and Batman would fist fight eachother for an edgy orphan?

Priorities, man.