EvI-No-CrAcK

dark ouside huh? :) thats because its winter now. & if you listen i can tell you more. about this world

this is how men speak to women

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

I had this scheduled because it’s May 18th but it has an entirely new meaning this year

be queer instill fear

Be bi, go for the eye

be pan, end it with a bang

pansexuals: gun

it’s our secret weapon

Being straight, you’re still great