Evil Bitch @evilqueenwasbroken - Tumblr Blog

“Something is really wrong with me. And I don’t know what it is.”

— Stephen Chbosky (via quotemadness)

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depression-healthy-carrier

I hate getting so sad to the point where my body completely shuts down, and all I can do is just lay there and think about all my problems

another-lost-soul-98

myopressivedepression

depresseddisneyprincess

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hxllowbones

its wild how fast my mood can change from "oh im doing alright ig" to "wow i need to fucking kill myself"

bella-unflitered

weighted-hearts

I think the reason people dont believe my pain is because I've never successfully killed myself. No one saw how desperate I was for the pain to be gone. Yes I had cried out for help in the past, but that doesnt make my pain any less valid. My suicide attempts were real and I'm the only one that can know that and ig that's okay. It just feels very lonely and invalidating. People have a way of making me second guess my own experience.

st-a-y

Because you don't know what it's like to want to die every freaking minute of every freaking day and still stay alive

not-your-average-jericho

I don't want to be awake.

I don't want to be asleep.

I don't want to be anything.

I want to just stop.

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sofiazerkalo

“I’m scared I’ll never get better again. I’m scared I’ll always stay twisted like this and grow old and waste away.”

— Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood (via mirayama)

Prima data

Nu știu cum ar trebui sa încep. Ma tot gândesc la prima data, îmi e dor, tare dor de cea de-a doua, dar nu de prima, aproape deloc. R. A fost prima data în atâtea privințe încat nici nu mi le amintesc pe toate, a început cu prima "intalnire", cel mai lung sărut, prima plimbare de mana cu cineva, prima persoana care ma făcea sa zâmbesc cu sufletul, apoi a fost prima persoana pe care am iubit-o cu adevărat, apoi cea mai lunga relație, prima relație serioasa din toate punctele de vedere. Asta au fost părțile bune... Dar cum toate lucrurile nu au o singura fata.. A fost și primele lacrimi din iubire, prima dezamăgire, primul înșelat, primul nu am timp de tine, primul te iubesc. R. Definește o mare parte din viata mea și mi-a luat o vreme sa înțeleg cât de mult ma afectează, și cum împreună ne-am modelat ca persoane, eu l-am învățat sa fie sensibil, sa plângă, sa lupte pentru ce își dorește. El m-a învățat dezamăgirea, indiferenta, ca nu contează prea mult lucrurile de moment și ca totul e menit sa se termine oricum. După ani de zile în care m-am convins ca are dreptate și ca nu mai merita sa lupt pentru ce aveam noi, am reușit sa ma detașez de tot, el, prieteni, familie, trăiam fără sa simt mare lucru, toate erau momente scurte și nesimnicative. Simțeam ca "m-am stricat" dar nu aveam chef sa ma repar, era ceva ce avea sa treacă.

#Prima data #first time #relathionship #thoughts #honestly though #love

Birthday

It's just sucks how everything looks OK, and it really was for a short period of time. Or, it is? Sincerely I don't know.. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad either. I'm extremely confused, I don't know what I want, or who I am or what I want to be. This happen for a long period of time now and I ignored it, it was just a few days ago when it really hited me, I was in class and my teacher asked us to write 3 sentences of type "I am" and 3 of "I'm not", and I was just stayed there and did nothing because I didn't know what to write.. Like I didn't have any ideas, nothing, blank, zero. I tried to ignore it again.. But unfortunately I can't, today is my birthday and it makes me think who I am, Who I am celebrating today? Why? I don't have any ideas. Today is my birthday and I want to die so hard. Maybe not to die but to not exist at all.

#depressing thoughts #birthday #confused

aroseforno-one-deactivated20221

b-oqueteira-deactivated20190602

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scvlptures-deactivated20200425

depression is when you don’t really care about anything

anxiety is when you care too much about everything

and having both is just like what

cantstop-love

Having both is staying in bed because you don’t want to go to school and then panicking because you don’t want to fail. Having both is wanting to go see your friends so you don’t lose them all, then staying home in bed because you don’t want to make the effort. Having both is insanely hard and sucks to deal with.

champgn

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