post nuclear angel

I was telling her how applications for these jobs and programs are so difficult and I just can't send the same CV and cover letter to all of them and I have to carefully tailor them (and some ask for writing samples ugh or have specific application questions I have to answer carefully) and that takes so much time and she replied with why don't you just get a fake email corporate job haha then you can come on a real vacation with us instead of having a research summer up north and like it's just demoralizing tbqh I mean this is a big deal to me and I was one of so many applicants and I got a full ride too and it means something and even if it doesn't mean something to her it means something to me and can't she just not undermine it for one second?

she kept saying in this joking way omg can't you find a summer research program somewhere nice with a beach or in a new country so I could come visit haha and I was like haha right I wish but like. she could come visit because I've been living in a new country every 6 months for the past two years basically. she didn't come to Sweden or Norway and she's not coming to Finland this summer either and she was just telling me she will have the longest summer vacation since she finished school this year so

I just got hit with the reality that my childhood best friend isn't understanding (or accepting) my lifestyle she would like me to have a similar life to hers so we could plan vacations together in the same spots and talk about the same things in the same ways

wait THAT'S the context for the “pick me choose me love me” quote from grey's anatomy? well everybody lied, she's not a pick me actually!