EVERYTHING-QUANTICO

<At the end of everything, hold on to anything.>

Bethany Hockenberry, Night In The Woods // George Batchelor, Far From Noise // Daniel Kwan, Everything Everywhere All At Once, // Spencer Stuard, Kevin Riach, Oxenfree // Future Cat LLC, Team OneShot, Oneshot // 

- - -

you are my:

(  ) mutual

(  ) friend

(  ) close friend

you intimidate me:

(  ) yes

(  ) no

do i want to talk more:

(  ) yes

(  ) no

have i ever had a crush on you:

(  ) yes

(  ) no

best feature:

(  ) @

(  ) layout

(  ) posts

random

( ) you’re very funny

(  ) you’re adorable

(  ) i freaked out when you followed me

(  ) i feel like i annoy you

(  ) i love seeing your posts on my dashboard

(  ) you’re so pretty

(  )  i love you a lot

(  ) you’re so relatable

(  ) i’m grateful for you

STOP. BRAGGING.

Stop trying to give credit to people on the front lines of these protests.

I need to stress this, you are doing the cops job for them.

Those masks you're wearing at these protests? They're not just to keep you from catching the rona. Its to conceal your identity.

And that entire purpose is destroyed the second you try to take or give credit for being on the front lines.

STOP. BRAGGING.

Cops are monitoring social media. The second you name someone on the ground, that person is now a target.

Now is NOT the time to be taking credit for your actions.

Keeping each other safe means keeping your mouth shut.

Do not name ANYONE on the front lines. Do not name ANYONE at the protests.

The ONLY exception to this rule is when you are outing a white supremacist or undercover cop trying to instigate more violence.

Do not name your fellow protestors. Don't even discuss who may have done what. Stop doing the cops job for them.

Filling their snitch lines and apps with junk is great, but if you're simultaneously going around and naming protestors, you're not helping at all.

Stop. Bragging.

I don’t personally know you, I don’t know what you’ve gone through, I don’t know what you’re still going through, but I know that there are people who need you here. You’re still here for a reason, and if you don’t know what that reason is, then your reason is to find your reason. There are people out there who are not only willing to listen, but they’re more than willing to try and help in any way they can.

Those people don’t help because they ‘have to’… They help because they care. Plenty of people who work on hotlines don’t get paid, they volunteer to help people. You might not want to admit that people care about you, because you don’t want to know that people will miss you if you push that blade an inch too deep. If you swallow one too many pills. If you pull the trigger. It might not always be evident who does care, but people do, so even if finding those people is your motivation to stay, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re still here to read this now. You’re still here, to look out the window and you have a chance to see beauty and peace in the world again. 

Your life is still yours, and you can take back control in a healthy way. Depression convinces you that it’s your friend and then beats you into the ground, pins you down and forces you to stay. It takes from you until there is nothing left to take and then it stays purely to see you slowly bleeding out on the floor.

Again, I don’t personally know you, but I know that you have so many reasons to live, even if you don’t think you do. So fight it. Fight the urges to die, to give up, to listen to the voices in your head.

Fight until you reach the end of a rainbow.

Fight until you find someone who you fit perfectly with.

Fight until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time.

Fight until you remember the title of that song you used to listen to.

Fight until you draw the perfect circle.

Fight until you muster up the courage to finally talk to that person you’ve been interested in lately.

Fight until you see a double rainbow.

Fight until you finish that level.

Fight until you put the blade down.

Fight until you put the lighter down.

Fight until you untie the noose.

Fight until you admit your feelings.

Fight until you put the pills down.

Fight until you feel food against your lips again.

Fight.

It doesn’t matter how small the motivation seems. Slow progress is still progress. Depression isn’t something you can just wake up and get rid of. Neither is anxiety, neither is any other mental illness.

But

Please

“We came for the money. We thought it would be easy. Shelby had been out of sight out of mind for so long, but seeing her, it brought back all the emotions I had buried. I regretted everything the second we left.”

“I just want to be in my daughters life.”