& all that jazz

me: 

happiness is when you’ve had nearly a full bottle of wine to yourself and its 1am and you call a friend to come pick you up and you go for a drive down windy roads singing off key to music on the radio looking for christmas lights that are all turned off because its so late

happiness is when people come up to you on campus and say ‘hey aren’t you in charge of that thing its really cool how can i help’ at least twice a day

happiness is when you publish a post on your site and your mom texts you and says ‘hey i read what you said and i wanna say i love you’

happiness is when you’ve been working your ass off at 4 jobs and you finally have enough saved to buy your parents tickets to disneyland for christmas and you know it will make them cry with joy

happiness is when you dont have the time or money to buy groceries nor the time to cook dinner nor the energy to get off the couch because you’re so exhausted and probably underfed and you cant help but realize how happy you are to be living on your own and to be independent even if you feel like you’re drowning

happiness is driving home from work at 1am thinking about all the work you have to do for your 18 credits of classes and 3 other jobs and all the projects and presentations and essays and you have to pull over because you’re crying tears of joy for being so strong and still being alive because you’re on your own

happiness is pushing and pushing until you break and then taking 2 weeks off to recover and coming back stronger than ever

happiness is seeing the “hey are you up i need your help” text on your phone from your neighbor who just needs you to sit with her while she writes an essay

happiness is color coding and using stickers to decorate a planner and writing down everything you need to do all in one place to make it look pretty and as unintimidating as possible

happiness is when you talk to your cousin and she confesses that she feels like shes unaccomplished in the world because she’s older than you and feels like she does nothing in comparison

happiness is writing down all your struggles, your illnesses, your work load, and your past all on a piece of paper and realizing how much you have done. not in spite of all that but with it

happiness is taking a moment to say ‘no i wont go today’ and roll back over and go back to bed

happiness is looking at all the big things in your life, your phone, your laptop, your car, your education, and knowing that you own that and nobody can take it away and you’ve worked hard for it

happiness is feeling 5 years old when you go to sleep surrounded by big fluffy stuffed animals and pillows and pictures and christmas lights and waking up feeling like you can breathe

happiness is knowing you’re drowning in work but taking the time to write thank you notes for all 52 people in your organization who have made a difference in your life

happiness is having people ask “how does she do it” and you stand there and smile and shrug and say “i dunno, its easy”

happiness is somehow waking up each day even though you feel like you’re not capable of living on your own. but you are. and thats ok. you’re learning.

happiness is being proud of yourself and not needing anybody else to be proud of you for you.