Vent
I'm not usually this comfortable with venting but I need to get this off my chest
!! IMPORTANT !!
I dont think any1 ik irl would find this account but if you know me dni
I experienced sexual harassment throughout 7th and 8th grade I had a hard time accepting that what was happening was harassment and I couldn't tell anyone until I eventually reached a breaking point
I was also guilt tripped into sending intimate pictures to an online boyfriend when we were both very young I don't want to go into details about that but it affected me
When we first met he once told me
"I'm alive because you stopped me that day"
That changed the way I saw myself I was so young but I started seeing myself as someone's hero eventually comforting people became a huge part of my identity I wanted to feel needed and important again and I didn't realize how much that was affecting the way I treated people
I'm now trying to understand that part of myself and take responsibility for the things I've done wrong without turning myself into a terrible person
I know therapy could probably help me with this but because of a past experience with my family I'm not comfortable opening up to them about it right now
I don't really feel understood by the people around me and I don't have many people I feel comfortable talking to I'm trying to find a way to express all of this without making other people responsible for fixing me
