g 🕊

I sit and listеn

Of course, you did everything in your power to try and help him. You were no telepath, no empath, just a simple mutant who could manipulate the flora and fauna. It was nothing that could help Charles. No amount of flowers or bright colors could bring back his own color.

So, you listened. You let him share every thought he wanted to share. You let him cry, yell, go silent with anger or sadness. You let him to whatever he needed, because Charles was broken.

You're so much older and wiser

Charles had always been the one to know what to say and do. He was the telepath, for crying out loud. He never needed help, but now that he did, how on earth were you supposed to help him? It felt impossible. It was like he had lived a million lives compared to your one and only. He knew everything and it felt like you knew nothing.

Lay the table with the fancy shit and watch you tolerate it

No matter what you did, it was worthless. Nothing you did helped. No amount of comfort, simple chores, cooking, nothing was helping. It was infuriating, but you tried not to blame Charles. This was not his fault. He was going through something unimaginable.

Even when you tried to just give him your love, it was so different from his usual self. He avoided your kisses, shied away from your touch, ignored your words of love and care.

"I want you to know I'm here, Charles," you'd say softly, reaching out physically and metaphorically.

He would turn his shoulder just before you could reach it. "I'm aware," he'd reply. "I have other things to attend to."

"What things?" you'd ask.

"Important things," was his reply every time.

Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?

Where was Charles? Anymore, you didn't know. At first, you told yourself he was in there. Your sweet, kind Charles. He was just hiding. He was scared, confused, hurt, angry.

Anymore, it was like he had vanished. Your Charles was no longer there. The Charles who had helped you hone your mutation, the Charles who taught you how to love it and yourself, the Charles who comforted you and helped you face your fears was now long gone. The Charles who remained was not the man you'd come to love.

Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

"Charles, please! I'm here, would you just let me in?" you cried out, clutching a fist over your heart as if you felt it physically break.

"You could never understand what I feel!" Charles yelled in reply. "You could never understand what I'm going through!"

You shook your head, "Maybe I won't! Maybe I never will, but I love you, Charles! I love you so much it hurts. This hurts! I just want to be a part of your world again!"

"My world?" Charles bitterly laughed. "You want no part in my world. My world is a cruel, unimaginable place that doesn't involve you." His words stung like venom. He didn't even react to what he said. He had meant it.

What would you do if I break free and leave us in ruins?

"What are you doing?" Charles asked, looking around the bedroom you'd once shared to see it empty of your belongings. A suitcase laid on your bed, your clothes folded neatly inside.

"I'm leaving," you answered. "your world no longer involves me."

Charles' eyes widened in shock, "That isn't what I--"

"Isn't it?" you retorted, folding another shirt into the suitcase with an odd sense of serenity.

"My darling," Charles' voice shook, "my love. Don't-- please, don't leave."

You glanced up to him, "You no longer need me, Charles. And I, you. It's better this way."

"It isn't!" Charles cried out, walking over to you with urgency in his steps. "Please, my love! Please, don't-- agh!" Charles doubled over, clutching his head. "No, no, please, not now! Please! Leave me alone!"

You quickly knelt beside him, grabbing him to hold him up. "Charles, look at me, you're okay," you gently shushed. "Hank! Hank, we need the serum! Hank!" you yelled into the empty hallways, hoping your old friend would come in a hurry.

"My darling," Charles sobbed, one hand clutching his head and the other your arm. "my one, my sweet, please, please don't leave me. Please! Oh, God!"

Tell me I've got it wrong somehow

Charles' head laid on your lap as you softly cascaded your fingers through his soft, brown hair. He was holding your legs tightly, fearing you'd get up and leave him any moment now. Your suitcase was forgotten on the floor, clothes spilled out from Charles' panic earlier. You didn't mind. They'd have to be put back in the dresser, anyways.

"I'm so sorry, my love." Charles muttered. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Do you love me?" you whispered, looking down into his eyes.

"More than anything in this world. You're the one thing keeping me going, the one thing that reminds me I'm alive." Charles replied. "I'm so sorry."

You nodded, "I know,"

I know my love should be celebrated, but you tolerate it

In the short days that passed, Charles tried. He did, he really, truly tried. He had his moments where he couldn't bear it, but more often than usual, his hand rested in yours. He'd press his cheek further into your lips when you'd kiss it, a shaky breath leaving his lips as his eyes closed as if he were trying to memorize and savor it like it was his last. He'd even seek you out in moments he needed grounding.

That was enough for you.

I sit and watch you

You were going to help Logan. Anything to get Raven home safely, even if that meant leaving Hank and Charles behind. Sitting on your ass was not for you.

"She won’t listen to me."

You and Logan turned around. You saw Hank turn around where he stood just a few paces behind you. Charles emerged from the building. It made your heart tingle.

"Even if I go with you, even if we find her, I can’t convince her to stop any more than I could convince her to stay." Charles continued as he walked closer.

"You won’t have to convince her. Magneto will."

You shared a weary look with the other two men. "Logan, as good of a plan that is, it's going to be insanely hard to get to Erik."

"Why not?" Logan nearly frowned. "Where is he?"

"Where he belongs." Charles replied. "Prison."

Your eyes locked with him, "Charles.."

"No, I know," Charles replied, walking up to you and grabbing your hands, interlacing them with his. "You don't need to speak, my love. I made up my mind. I am coming. If not for mutant kind.. at least Raven. My sister. And for you. You passion and will. I.. have let you down, time and time again. This time, I don't think I could live with myself if I did it again."

Heart leaping, you felt your face morph into one of sheer joy, "You're coming?" you whispered.

"I'm coming, darling."