dolls: they were never a phase

(consumed with lust voice) omg what a fucking weirdo

doctor said i need to be kissed hard. for an hour

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

if dale cooper showed up in my town I’d have more important questions for him. like. were you homeschooled? is diane your tape recorder’s name?

sorry i called you a fucking idiot i was trying to flirt

got banned from my local record store because I kept fingering the holes in the CDs and moaning

this website is so goddamn easy

#just like those cds

he's so hot i need to feed him the world's most perfect strawberry

“we want more weird queer people” you guys can’t handle it/its users

straight women need to start fetishising sapphic women so there can be more femslash fan fiction. we gotta outsource and get more writers on board. I want it to get to the point where two women cant be on screen together without having a 80k space opera fic written about them. I want show runners to be scared of cancelling sapphic shows because legions and legions of fans will come after them. dont tell me my priorities are wrong.

straight women, you have been summoned for yuri duty.

WHAT

reblog if you like girls and pasta

a couple years ago, i got really ambitious and decided i was going to make a uquiz. it would be the uquiz to end all uquizzes, it would mean i used my history degree and it would be queer with a capital Q. and to be fair to past me, i did all the questions, had chosen what (or who, in this case) the results would be, and just had to write the bios for those results, which i did half of... and then crashed. two years later, i finally convinced myself to finish it off, so i mostly proudly present the 'which historical gay are you?' uquiz. if your result's bio is a little lacking, thats not because youre boring, it's because i'm chronically ill <3