This is Who I Am.

My mom has to take thyroid medication and will have to take it for the rest of her life.  Because her body will not function without it.

That is not addiction, that is dependency.

I am on Lyrica for my Fibro.  If I stop taking it for even 24 hours, I will experience massive withdrawals that could cause seizures and even death.  (And I’ve had to go off it suddenly 3 different times.  Thanks USA HEALTHCARE!)

That is not addiction, that is dependency.

If you take your pills as prescribed, you are not an addict.  Most medications cause withdrawals when you stop taking them because your body has become dependent on them to function normally.  That also doesn’t make you an addict.

What have I been up to since I last answered messages? Dealing with POTS of course, my hr increase is more mild for POTS but you can see here that my lying hr is 81 and it goes up to 116 when standing.

I just wanted to share it and if anyone sees themselves in it please contact a doctor and ask to be tested for POTS.

Those with POTS also experience symptoms like:

High/low blood pressure

High/low heart rate; racing heart rate

Chest pain

Dizziness/lightheadedness especially in standing up, prolonged standing in one position, or long walks

Fainting or near-fainting

Exhaustion/fatigue

Abdominal pain and bloating, nausea

Temperature deregulation (hot or cold)

Nervous, jittery feeling

Forgetfulness and trouble focusing (brain fog)

Blurred vision

Headaches and body pain/aches (may feel flu-like); neck pain

Insomnia and frequent awakenings from sleep, chest pain and racing heart rate during sleep, excessive sweating

Shakiness/tremors especially with adrenaline surges

Discoloration of feet and hands

Exercise intolerance

Excessive or lack of sweating

Diarrhea and/or constipation

It can be very debilitating. If you have any questions feel free to ask. I also have an Instagram where I share my chronic illness journey: @chronically_ash. Not trying to self promote just trying to share more about POTS and what I have been doing since I last answered. I also have been doing an internship and just started school.

I hope you all are doing well,

I have enough,

I am doing enough,

https://blue—rain.tumblr.com/

Its okay to wish that you didnt have this chronic thing.

Its okay to not be okay with the circumstances surrounding you.

But I’ve gotten myself through the last week by reminding myself that:

I will go at my own pace.

I will persist.

I will keep trying to keep myself at baseline.

I will accept my flares, and I will get through them.

There are so many chronic illnesses for which there aren’t very effective medications or therapies. Even if your chronic illness has a few good treatments available, they might not work for you, or they might be out of your reach because your doctor won’t prescribe them or your insurance won’t cover them. 

If you do find a medication or treatment that works for you, it might only alleviate some of your symptoms and restore part of your function. It might come with unpleasant side effects that interfere with your life in new ways. 

Shoutout to everyone who looks healthy but isn’t.

Shoutout to everyone who has put up with the “why aren’t you better” b.s.