Drown in Philo

什麼是哲學？是你從人生的經驗中發現的隱藏的真相。

☛ㅤ𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚢.

Why keep struggling? I honestly don’t know. Maybe some part of me just wants to see what this life will still try to do.

有時，只是有時，會覺得自己就像在黏鼠板上的蟑螂，在不對的地方掙扎著自己的生命。

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I once read something. If I remember it right, it was about a group of astronauts who went to the Moon. When they looked back at our blue planet from there, they returned to Earth with a kind of aftereffect — one that reshaped their entire sense of life and values.

I’ve never actually been to the Moon, so I can’t witness that vast, boundless view for myself. But I can understand what they meant in interviews when they said, “Everything humans do feels so small.”

I can imagine myself floating in space, looking at Earth, watching things I can’t truly see. Some people are arguing. Some are struggling to make a living. Some just found a stray cat today. Some have committed terrible crimes… No matter what is happening, I’m simply there, watching this planet, accepting how it quietly hangs in an endless darkness.

The shift in perspective those astronauts experienced somehow reminded me of myself. It’s almost as if I was the one drifting in that dark ocean all along, unable to see any other life — until I came across that piece of writing, and turned my head to look again at the ground beneath my feet.

I think this might be what pulled me away from complete nihilism. Whether I do something or nothing at all, whether anyone remembers me or not. In the end, it all just happens on this small planet. And somehow, that makes it easier to let go.

Other people’s opinions no longer feel entirely important. Achievement is no longer the measure of my worth. I don’t have to chase money beyond the few problems it can actually solve. I can spend a day doing nothing, occasionally passing by and admiring the brilliance of those who paint their lives in extraordinary ways.

And I can… just be with myself, ordinary as I am, and keep living into the future with a "healthy" mindset, within a kind of restrained chaos.

我曾看過一篇文，印象裡它在說一群太空人搭上火箭，從月球望向我們的藍色星球時，回到地球後出現的有關於翻湧他們人生價值觀的後遺症。

雖然我沒有真正上過月球，沒辦法親自看見那樣浩瀚而無邊無際的風景，但我可以同理他們在訪談中提到的“原來人類做的一切是多麼渺小”這句話。

我可以想像我漂浮在太空中，想像著我在那裡看著我根本看不見的人類在地球上做的事。有的人爭執，有的人為生活打拼，有的人在今天撿到一隻流浪貓，有的人犯下了重罪……無論是什麼樣的事情，我就只是這麼看著這顆星球，接受了它默默地掛在一望無際的黑暗中。

太空人所改變的人生觀，恰好提醒了我自己。就好像我原本才是那個飄在看不見其他生物的黑色海洋裡的傢伙，直到看到了那篇文，我才轉過頭重新審視了我站在腳下的這片土地。

我認為這或許是我脫離完全的虛無主義中的重要推手。如果我做了任何事或什麼都沒做，無論我是否有被任何人記住，到頭來僅僅發生在這顆小小的星球上，我突然就釋懷了。

I’m not simply asking Why am I alive or Why are humans alive, I’ve asked myself those questions countless times. For now, the answer I have is something vague, or maybe there isn’t an answer at all. And honestly, that might be a good thing.

If there is no standard answer to these questions, then I don’t have to spend my entire life feeling lost, trying to find one. I can just be here—breathing, feeling that I’m alive, sensing ANYTHING in me, even noticing those instincts that might make me uncomfortable. I try to sit with them, to understand and analyze what they bring out in me.

然後呢？

我並非只是在問我為什麼活著或人類為什麼活著，這些問題我已經問過自己無數遍。目前，我的答案很模糊，或許根本就沒有答案。說實話，這或許是件好事。

But if you look at it from a broader perspective, the world is huge, and there are so many humans. If some people are to control the rules, the resources, the power, this kind of structure actually makes sense—it relies on humans’ desire for achievement, recognition, and being seen to maintain order and motivation.

People automatically follow the rules and compete; even if some feel pressure, the system still functions stably. It’s not simply oppression, but a kind of social-engineering logic. What’s interesting is that all of this rests on the premise of survival. If you have no income, the world will still eliminate you.

Perhaps that’s why laziness is so widely condemned—it directly challenges the fundamental logic of this system.

很多人把不努力、不追求成就、不競爭直接等同失敗。

不過放遠來看，這個世界這麼大，這麼多人類，如果要讓部分人掌控規則、資源、權力，這樣的結構其實很合理──它利用了人類對成就感、認可、被看見的需求來維持秩序和動力。

人們自動遵守規則、努力競爭；即便有人感到壓力，這套系統也因此穩定運作著。這並非單純的壓迫，而是一種社會工程層面的合理性。有趣的是，這一切的前提是生存，如果你沒有收入，你仍然會被這個世界淘汰。

No one should be defined as a failure by a single external standard. A person’s worth is not equivalent to how many socially agreed-upon goals they have achieved—it can be measured by questions like "Did I act according to my own values?", "Did I do my best?", or even "Did I take responsibility for the consequences?" as internal benchmarks.

That said, this doesn’t mean events can’t fail, nor that actions come without consequences. When a challenge fails, we still have to face and take responsibility for the impact it brings. Distinguishing between "whether I failed" and "whether something failed" is a way of keeping responsibility where it belongs.

*The above reflects the views of a person who is not achievement-oriented.

我認為失敗只是族群共識的產物，當今天換了一個群體，規則就會改變了。而我們人類習慣使用“達成了什麼”來衡量價值。很多人之所以痛苦，並非因為客觀的失敗，而是死死抓住一個不屬於自己的標準，把未達成的結果誤認為自己的缺陷。

任何人不該被外界的單一標準定義為失敗。人的存在價值，不等同於他達成了多少社會共識下的目標──它可以是“我是否按照自己的價值觀行動“、“我是否盡力”，甚至是“我是否承擔後果”作為自己的內在標竿。

不過，這也不代表事件不會失敗，也不代表行動沒有後果。當一個挑戰失敗時，我們仍然需要面對並承擔它所帶來的影響，而區分“我是否失敗”與“這件事是否失敗”是讓責任停留在它該在的地方。

Animal competition is driven by blind survival instincts. Human competition, however, is mixed with consciousness, comparison, the search for meaning, and constant dissatisfaction. We end up turning the simple act of “staying alive” into questions like “Why should I live?”, “How can I live better than others?”, or even “How can I live forever?”

If you think about it, consciousness itself isn’t a blessing or a curse. It’s more like a tool that comes without an instruction manual. And what humans are especially good at is taking something meant to help us understand the world, and using it to torment ourselves instead.

因為人類有意識，所以人類某種程度上其實也在自我毀滅。高智商讓我們比動物更清楚自己在做什麼──動物只是為了活下去、留下更強的後代；人類卻想要更多，還想要不一樣。

動物的競爭是盲目的生存驅動，人類的競爭卻摻雜了意識、比較、意義追尋，還有永遠不滿足。結果就是，我們自己把原本很單純的“活下去”，變成“為什麼要活”、“我要活得比別人更好”、“我能不能永遠不死”。

Talking about it is fine, absolutely fine. But in the end, isn’t it all about improving one’s mindset and way of life?

哲學對我來說主要不是拿來談論的，而是拿來活的。