EVAPORATION

About me:

Relevant info: I am an aspiring author, currently writing fan-fiction to practice with the goal of publishing a fantasy series. I've been writing fan-fictions since I was a teenager, and stories since I first learned to write. They have always been my way of coping.

In depth: I am also a hobby composer, and write songs, play piano, and write lyrics. I can also draw, but rarely do. I am non-binary and queer, and blessed with autism and ADHD. I am an extroverted introvert, witty, socialable, and easy to laugh with. But I am not to everyone's taste, and can seem like a talkative know it all, or overly confident to some. I am also insightful, quite emotional but still reasonable, always curious and inquisitive. My life is dictated by myself because I'm on welfare, a privlige that isn't lost on me.

About Evaporation:

It is very loosely based on a few characters from the Cartoon Network cartoon: Steven Universe. Most importantly of Ruby and Sapphire. I found their love, wedding and all they stood for to be beautiful and moving. But I wanted to make a human alternate universe(human au) of them specifically. You do not need to have consumed any media based on Steven Universe to read this piece of fan-fiction. Who it's for: Everything explicitly described, like; suicidal ideation, mental health, sex, abuse, and more: is for educational purposes, characterization and experience. If a queer Y/A wants to read about; heartfelt intimicy, mental breakdowns, angst, bullying, and adorable and deep romance; this fic is dedicated to them. Aka: Romantic hurt/comfort. My work is in no way intended as predatory. And any communication with my readers will stay strictly age appropriate.

Plot: Having survived the foulest side of mankind long before now, she was hard to surprise. At summer’s end she met a girl alluring as the heavens, shedding quiet solitary tears. In autumn their paths cross anew, and she’s hard to resist. In time she learns the culprit of her sorrows, and it’s more vile than she could ever imagine.

Any questions, or a need to just talk about my work in general, please PM me here on tumblr, or mail me at: [email protected]

More detailed plot(Light spoilers):

It’s set in Norway, late 2005. Runa, a dark-skinned, strong and masculine girl, still suffers from her deep early childhood trauma. Though now she lives with her kind-hearted foster-parents, she's an easy target for bullies. Having switched to a smaller more specialized school, because of her learning difficulties: She have found that her new peers are even worse than before. She doesn’t expect anything to change, and has already started planning her own death. Convinced she is inately worthless, ill-made, stupid, and inherently unlovable; she's unable to express anything but apathy, dispair or fury. That is, until she meets Sofie.

Sofie is skinny, blonde, and too beautiful for her own good. In the wake of the unspeakable, she struggles to cope, feel and communicate her despair. Having switched schools from across town, she finds the ajustment to be difficult. Especially when it feels like everyone hates her. Despite her mother, step-dad and little brother doing their best, she's still planning for an unspecific early end, to spare them from the doom and gloom of her broken self. The one grip she has on her own sanity and sense of self, is an inexplicable crush on a stranger. On a girl strong enough to protect her, and possibly kind enough to want to.

Just barely meeting each other outside the gymnasium right after summer, both secretly enamored with each other, they finally meet again during fall. Somehow they dare to exchange numbers and open up to each other, and so it begins. Even if the cosmos seeks to squander it all, it finally begins.

History of the fic:

About ten years ago I impulsively started writing it, I was far less skilled in both English and writing in general. I’d dare say the twelve or so chapters of it, published under a different title on ff.net(now taken down) was mostly bad, with a few nice concepts drizzled atop it. About two years ago I felt compelled to try and do this story justice, as well as describing, documenting and processing my traumatic adolescence, and mostly happy childhood, my home town in Norway, and the people I met, places I partied/hung out, and not least of all: In honor of the stories I conjured in the name of coping and surviving the biggest traumas of my life.

As I continued writing it and familiarized myself with AO3 and its NSFW content, I decided to make something different. See; I found the works by others intended as primarily explicit to feel lacking, or disinteresting, and wanted to create something whole-heartedly meaningful. Because young love is as valid as; secure, established or old love.

Content and intent: Spoiler = THIS

Though it has very mature themes, like graphic depictions of violence, underage sex, and eventual noncon, more spsifically a single negative depiction of it. It IS primarily a story made for teens, about teens. Though Runa having ADHD is mentionaed in the beginning, Sofie will also be autistic but doesn't know it yet. So they are written very spesifically for anyone having the same diagnosis' to recognize themselves in them. A goal I have with this fic, is to create sexual situations without sexualizing the characters. Everything explicitly described is more for educational purposes, characterization and experience. Elements of this story is autobiographical, especially their mental health issues. With this story I aim to describe the thrills of ecstasy and the fright of terror equally accurately and honestly. Honoring these three principals: To describe intimate content without sexualizing the characters. To make it heartfelt, and not just about being explicit. And to describe it romantically, more so than just sexually(aka: to entice the reader).

Here are some of the other goals I made for this fic:

Very light spoilers: - The strength of the human spirit to prefail despite all odds. - The validation of teenagers’ feelings, no matter how silly, intense or dramatic. - What childhood or adolescent trauma feels like. - How and when to ask for help. - How it is to suffer with mental illness, like post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression and OCD. - How damaging it is to experience racism, homophobia and bullying in general. - What healthy love and sex is supposed to look like. - What the opposite does to a person. - What boys and men are supposed to act like. - What good and responsible caregivers are supposed to look like.  - What physical and verbal violence does to a young person. - Why it is always worth it to dare to love.  - The value of companionship in general, people need people. - That young people do comprehend, and have the capacity to do good. - That very few are inherently evil. - And most are either neutral or selfish in the face of mean-spirited social situations. - That all people no matter how evil, are complex and nuanced. - That it is easier to face hardships together than alone. And lastly: - That family is complicated, and parents/adults aren’t perfect.

Apart from the drawing of a kiss, which I made in 2025: I drew the rest around 2015-16, when writing the older version of Eva. I did not make the title, the cover, or the second to first drawing.

6. 25: “What is it?” Sofie whispered and raised her hands from her back, stroking firmly at her nape and hair instead. She seemed to really like doing that. Runa swallowed the excess spit in her breathlessness. Her arms and hip ached further, even the part of the back that bent and lifted to remain above her hurt. She hadn’t realized just how numbed she had been before. And the high had kept her away from it all after, but now her physical reality came rushing back. She blinked thrice, her entire body physically throbbed with pain. “It’s just that; I’m so exhausted, and I’m hurting all over. I think I need to go home.” Sofie stroked her curls a bit firmer as she frowned worriedly. Though her every touch relaxed her muscles more easily than anyone's ever had before; she felt herself ache still. Her strokes made her lean a bit forward without meaning to. She closed her eyes and sighed. Sofie sighed softly to her and said ever so tenderly: “That’s okay. I’ll come with you.” Runa opened her eyes and smiled, though she had implied this before it was nice to hear it directly. Sofie moved her hand down and stroked her forearm gently.  “You don’t have to.” She herself proclaimed back a bit louder. Sofie quickly pressed a firm peck against her lips and lifted both hands to her cheeks. Her slim fingers were cold against her own. And her gaze relaxed to even more vivid tenderness. Her sweet smile against her lips was careful but sincere. They brushed as she sighed deeply below her, caressing her cheeks in unison. “But I want to. If you cry again I wanna be there to hold you.” She answered her ever so tenderly, coaxing pressure behind her eyes again. She raised her hand to Sofie’s, still on her cheek, and turned her nose and mouth towards it. Before she sighed bittersweetly while the ache from within ravaged her bliss. 

Gently she rubbed her face against her soft palm repeatedly, it helped keep her tears back. But Sofie must have seen the expression on her face nonetheless, and leaned in on her, pecking the corner of her mouth repeatedly as she groaned, saying: “Oh Runa.” In a low and sympathetic tone. “You’re so sweet.” She herself responded with sullen tenderness. Sofie leaned in and pressed their cheeks together, she sighed near her ear. “Class has already started, I’ll go get my things soon.” She said in a sorrowful voice, though she clearly attempted to mask it with gentle and happy tones. It didn’t help, the pressure behind Runa’s eyes re-emerged abruptly. Though she hid it against her cheek, she was sure her desperation was felt through her shaky breaths. “Noo.” She groaned to her with a heavy body. She let go of Sofie’s hand and gripped behind her back still against the floor, and hugged her closer. 

The thought of her leaving made her chest ache so intensely, as if when she let go; she’d never come back. So she pressed her nose and cheek against her bare neck, well below her ear, and sighed shakily. Sofie hugged her back with her arms. Her scent was sweet, and her body radiated with warmth and a gentle layer of dampness. Runa smiled in her despair, feeling her stomach flutter amidst the sadness. Her long blonde strands of silk pressed against her cheek and nose. The scent of flowery meadows clinking to them. She trusted that Sofie liked her, but she didn’t trust the world to let her go. Something would happen to her, or she’ll change her mind when out there. To realize all this tragedy was too much for her, once she had a moment to think. 

The ache rose in her chest cavity, right where her ribs connected to her vertebrae, hurting her core of vibrating obsidian. She frowned and tightened her grip around Sofie’s back and tanktop, before she quickly moved back and lifted her up. “Don’t go.” She begged sullenly and sat back with Sofie in her lap. her despair broke her voice apart. “Runaaa, heey, it’s okay.” She commented in a sympathetic snicker, though it didn’t feel mocking. Her legs bent around her on the floor, and her embrace turned firm. Runa rubbed against her neck with her face again, tears mingled with the warmth of her body. “I’ll be quick I promise.” Sofie proclaimed further with such tenderness, it was hard to argue with her. Though she believed she meant it, that feeling of being left behind lingered. She’d be waiting cluelessly for hours until she finally realized yet again; that she wasn’t worthy after all. That this was a trick, a test, or a mockery from the cosmos. She unwillingly sobbed in her breaths, tears dripped and smeared further as she sniffled and asked: “Promise you’ll come back?” Immediately Sofie moved back and faced her, gripping her cheeks firmly. Her expression was sad but determined. Even in her sorrow Runa felt her stomach flutter by her raw beauty. Sofie’s silence began to feel like hesitation, but then she let go with one hand and stroked her tears away softly. She felt her cheeks prickle warmly by her gentle touch, despite her lingering tension.

“Oh I promise I’ll come back as fast as I can.” Sofie uttered with slow yet crisp words, Runa grinned in her lingering tears and looked down for a moment. It felt pathetic how easily she was swayed by her fear of abandonment.