Ukhti 🩷

When I thought I couldn’t do it anymore — when I felt like I had failed, when it seemed my prayers weren’t being answered, when my heart grew unbearably heavy and the words “I give up” almost escaped my tongue…

In those nights, I would sit for hours on my prayer mat in the last third of the night, whispering my hopes to my Creator, expecting to wake up the next morning with everything granted.

But I soon realized… that’s not how His mercy works.

My Lord never gave up on me.

Every time I reach my lowest, my Rabb sends me a sign.

Sometimes it comes as a person, a verse, a hadith, a tweet, even a short Instagram reel — gentle reminders that He is still near, calling me back to Him.

“And when My servants ask you concerning Me, indeed I am near. I respond to the call of the caller when he calls upon Me.”

(Qur’an 2:186)

I would randomly come across a post telling me to read the Qur’an — and every time I open it, there is a healing that only my Lord can bestow with such immediacy and tenderness.

“We send down in the Qur’an that which is a healing and a mercy for the believers.”

(Qur’an 17:82)

And then I remember the Prophets — how they never gave up.

How they faced trials far greater than mine, yet remained steadfast and hopeful.

“So be patient, as were those of determination among the Messengers…”

(Qur’an 46:35)

Who am I, compared to them?

What I am facing is not even a fraction of their hardship… yet they stood firm.

So I made a decision.

Even if I don’t see the results of my Tahajjud right now, I trust that Allah is preparing something better — something only He knows, something worth the wait.

“Perhaps you dislike something while Allah has placed in it much good.”

(Qur’an 4:19)

My Rabb hears.

My Rabb remembers.

My Rabb never abandons.

And so I will keep going.