Eva Stratt.

For those of you who don't know me, I’m Ryland Grace. I used to be an eighth-grade science teacher at Grover Cleveland Middle School. Now, I guess I'm both a scientist and an astronaut, but I’m still a teacher—just on a very different planet from Earth.

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Current location: Erid. Well, technically, I live inside a human-adapted Earth-biosphere biodome on Erid's surface, surrounded by 29 atmospheres of toxic, crushing pressure and pitch-black ammonia fog. Oh, and the gravity is twice what I'm used to. My calves are very unhappy, but at least the xenonite biodome provides me with a pretty cool simulated ocean view.

What I do here: I basically do the same thing I did on Earth, just with significantly higher stakes: I teach science. Except this time, my students are faceless, rock-like aliens with omnidirectional hearing who communicate through musical chords, named Eridians. It's a bit of a career pivot. (I like to call my students Pebbles)

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What you’ll find on this blog:

• Life under two Gs: Everything is twice as heavy. My daily cardio is just standing up. I’ve started designing makeshift exoskeletons just to get to the beach my buddy Rocky built for me. I do use a xenonite cane Rocky made for me at the moment it helps a lot.

• Existential dread: I survived the Astrophage crisis by eating "Me Burgers", somehow solving xenobiology, and never having to grade another eighth-grade quiz.

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Now time for blog rules

1. No "Amaze" spam: While I appreciate the sentiment, excessive use of the Eridian equivalent of "awesome!" will result in a good-natured eye roll. It gets very annoying at times.

2. Please keep your helmets on: No doxxing, no flame wars, and absolutely no fighting in the comments section. Keep it clean. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all.

3. Don't be inappropriate at all, if its something that might make me uncomfortable don't ask it.

4. No brainrot: please don't spam my inbox or comment section with brainrot, it's annoying.

5. Zero tolerance for Rocky slander: This is a positive space for the best extraterrestrial engineer in the galaxy. If you're here to talk smack about the Eridians, you'll be blocked.

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Am I going back to Earth? Maybe someday! But right now, I’ve got class to teach, and Rocky and I are working on some new Xenonite upgrades. Feel free to drop an ask, or just leave a message if anyone from Earth is still monitoring this.

Mod here: if I get anything wrong please tell me

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Saw this image and said oh. That’s them

They could never make me hate you pirate queen