I read that!

My Thoughts 

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and for a debut novel, it was done incredibly well. However, the last chapter was not written as well as the rest of the novel. Almost, as if it was the first part written, the rest of the book has a completely different tone. And I also wish that the epilogue added a little more. It felt rushed and unorganized. Almost like the words were thrown on the page as a second thought to clear up any loose ends that were forgotten. 

I have always been intrigued by selkies. Selkies are a metaphor for domestic violence, a woman is stolen and held captive against her will, with the husband denying her the right to the outside world. It was so interesting to read a selkie story that was turned on its head. Watching the change in Muirin as she is with Jean versus when she is with Tobias, her husband, was very well written. And watching Muirins personality come out, and Jean becoming so flustered by the tall, hot, foreign lady was quite cute. 

I feel so bad for Jean. As a queer woman myself, I do relate to her fear of ostracization and isolation. Always ensuring you are fitting in and not bringing to much attention to yourself. Jean has gone through so much and she just deserves to settle down with her pretty, big, selkie wife.   

The setting for this book was amazing. Half of my family lives out east, in New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and PEI, so I felt a real connection to the landscape and the superstitions. The east of Canada is so gorgeous and it does not get a lot of outside recognition. The way that Rose described everything made it feel so real, it genuinely felt as though I was experiencing those views and landscapes of rural Nova Scotia myself. Beautifully written when Rose describes the landscape it is like a love letter to the land itself. 

The climax of the story was enthralling. I could not put my book down; I was hooked. I was at the edge of my seat, gripping my book for dear life and wishing I could read faster as though the scene would be over before I could experience it. Like when you are watching a movie, and you are scared to look away for one moment and miss the final scene. It has been a while since a book has had such a hard grip on my attention.

Conclusion

My Thoughts 

Although this is my first review of a non-fiction book, it is not my first encounter with Bell Hooks. I have adored her work ever since studying her in my Women and Gender course in University. Each time I read her, I learn something new about myself or society, and I am always intrigued by her insights.

I never thought that I viewed love with such a negative connotation until I read All About Love: New Visions. And let me tell you, I learned a lot about myself, society, how I viewed love and how sexist society's ideas of love really is. One of Hooks’ main points that she was very adamant about getting across, was the definition of love. “To truly love we must learn to mix various ingredients-care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment, and trust, as well as honest and open communication” (pg 5) when love is defined as this, I realize how past partners and family, truly did not love me. To love someone is to wish them to be the best versions of themselves, no matter what. People have a hard time watching others succeed where they could not, this drives people to diminish or even destroy others' accomplishments. This could be a daughter graduating College/University and getting their dream job, and her mother remembers how she struggled in school and had children, so she gave up her dreams. Now she is bitter and belittles her daughter, jealous of her life and achievements. She still loves her daughter, but she has let her hurt cloud her love so it is no longer pure. 

Hooks states that childhood is the first place we learn what love is. This is what shapes us into the adults we become, this can be so detrimental because as adults who have normalized abusive tendencies from their own childhoods now teach their children it is ok to gaslight or manipulate people for love. Most young children don't understand love as a complex idea, most think love is the good feeling you get when someone praises you or says something nice to you. Children think, “Dad said he is happy I cleansed my room, that makes me feel good. That must be love” or “Mom is happy when I let others go first, that makes me happy, that must be love”. Many parents praise children for good behaviour, good grades, or putting others before themselves, which are good things, but when this is the only thing that you are praised on, later on as adults, you have conditioned yourself to be a people pleaser, or to expect greatness where it is not possible, or that you are not worthy of love if you put yourself first. This is where we get self-destructive tendencies, university students burning out because they can’t always get 90s, and they run themselves into the ground by “disciplining” themselves if they don't meet their absurd expectations. 

By changing our idea of what love looks like, we can allow ourselves compassion, sympathy and understanding. To love ourselves is truly the way to love others, we must heal to be able to nurture another. And to heal we have to accept that we have been hurt by those we love, it does not make you a bad person to think of your childhood as abusive. Although love can not exist in a place where someone is hurting you, this does not mean that they do not care for you and you don't have affection for them. To heal, you have to understand that not everyone is able to love fully and completely. This does not make these people broken, merely hurt. They must confront their own mistakes and past hurts and traumas to be able to love completely and fully. Hurt people hurt people, whether they mean to or not.  

Bell Hooks always gets me thinking, and I really appreciate that. This book has been profoundly reflective for me and has changed my view on love and how the patriarchy affects everyone, not just women. Love is truly transformative and not as mystical as people often make it out to be. I have also learned not to accept being treated poorly under the guise of love. I deserve much more and need to respect myself as much as I respect others.

Conclusion

My Thoughts 

I was so excited to read this, I love Persephone and Hade's retellings. I can see what Katee was going for in the Ultra-Modern setting, but it felt so disconnected from anything, where is Olympus? It felt somewhat American based on the upper city, but the architecture in the lower city felt very classic Greek. It had no basis which, for me, makes it hard to be fully immersed into the story. It also felt very totalitarian and almost culty in how Zeus was written, and I understand that is how Zeus is portrayed in a lot of myths, but for an Ultra-Modern city, it almost made it feel older because of this. That may have been purposeful, Zeus being “traditional”, but I don’t know if it fits well enough to be intentional. 

I adored Dionysus and Hermes, they were so chaotic and they really brought a lot of energy and life to the book they had a sense of familiarity. Every time they showed up I would pay attention a little more.  Whereas Hades and Persophone always felt they were on the verge of fucking, like they were never very present. They had a few sweet moments, but most of the plot was smut-driven, that is because it is a romance novel, but I still feel as though there can be non-sexual plot progression. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I did very much enjoy the sex scenes, they were well-written. Hades is very hot with how commanding he is and the way that Persophone was a little bratty, very good. And, they did use their sexual displays as a way of asserting power, in an odd, misogynistic, manipulative way. So it was a useful plot device, it just felt a little lacklustre in some moments and unnecessary, and it was almost just to keep readers interested. I have not read anything else by Katee, so I can not compare this to anything else she has written, so I can not say if this is something that she does often or if it is a one-off. But with that being said, it won't stop me from reading something else by her. 

I did have an issue with how this book ended though. I mean I love what Hades did, I am a sucker for revenge. But it felt a little rushed and not super thought out. Especially, when Hades and Persophone deal with the fallout. It was almost a fade to black there, and it left me wanting more. Yeah, there was an epilogue, but it was basically pointless. I want to see them trying to figure out diplomatic relations, navigating the public learning that Hades is a real person and what has happened, how the upper city and lower city are doing now that they are exposed to each other, and what was the fallout with Zeus’s last moments. I have so many unanswered questions that you would think an epilogue would answer, at least a few of them. Instead, they do what what they did the whole rest of the book, have sex. Wow. 

Conclusion

My Thoughts 

The humour in this book was so good, it felt so easy and genuine. I find that some books try to be funny, but it can feel forced and not genuine. I thought it was so funny when Fallon attempted to kill someone and when Cin would bring it up he would just shrug and say “Semantics”. Just the way that he would deadpan answers was so comedic to me. 

This is the first real book that has smut. I normally just read fanfiction smut instead of real published novels. It was good smut, however, I was expecting it to be more dirty. It was pretty tame, but it was enjoyable. It says at the beginning of the book that it is light BDSM, but I didn't realize it would be so light. It was mostly just binding her hands. Still hot, but I was hoping for some more. 

I loved all the characters. Especially Felix, he really felt like an annoying best friend. With the accidental cock-blocking, the teasing, and his desire to know all the dirty details. After Cin and Fallons sexy night, Cin is imminently bombarded with questions from all of her new girl friends, with Felix slipping in and saying “Well, as Lichbane’s first demon friend, I call best-friend privileges, and I want to hear all the details … Spill” (pg. 174) 

I loved the inclusion of the centaur, Holly. But I wished she had more depth, especially romantically. It was very nice, as a queer person, for her to outright say “Oh no, dear, I like women” (pg. 174). Sure, it is something so simple but just to have it said so plainly and just accepted is very nice to see. I do wish she had a girlfriend or found a girl attractive, I would have liked to see that. There is two more books, so I am hoping she shows up there.

As we went into the last battle, I loved the cool dragons. I mean, who doesn't love dragons right?! The battle between Cin and Myva was so fun, with Myva being a lich (one of the coolest fictional monsters) I loved the bubbling goo and the skeletons she could control. I do wish it was a little more graphic, but Fallon's decapitating someone certainly helped with that.  

Conclusion

My Thoughts 

This whole book revolves around time and feeling like you don't have enough of it. Addie asks for more time saying “... so scared of the years rushing past beneath my feet. I do not want to die as I’ve lived, which is no life at all … I want more time” (pg 46). Luc comments how humans need more time when he is showing Addie how different they are. He states “The vexing thing about time is that it’s never enough. Perhaps a decade too short, perhaps a moment. But a life always ends too soon.” (pg 333). This is something I think everyone can relate to, I’m constantly hearing, ‘Time is flying’, ‘I can’t believe how fast they grow’, or ‘It's already been a year?’. Even for myself, it feels as though every year is passing faster than the last. You always need more time, more time to learn, to love, to live. There will never be enough time “God, what he would give for just another day” (pg. 422). It can be really depressing to think about, how, we as humans only have a little to accomplish so much. But it can also be so invigorating because we don't have a long time we have to do things that matter, that we enjoy. After all, we won't always have the time to do so. 

“Because happiness is brief and history is lasting, and in the end, everyone wants to be remembered” (pg 351) 

Everyone can relate to this quote. No matter who you are or what you do. People want to be remembered. Whether it is through graffiti, books, inventions or art, people want to leave a lasting impression. 

Luc is neither a demon nor a god, Luc has no gender and he is absent of appearance. He simply appears how you want him to appear. For Addie, he is tall dark and handsome. We first meet Luc when Addie feels as though her life is falling apart, she prays after dark and he is the one who answers. When Addie says what she wants, he originally declines “I am not in the business of charity. You ask for too much. How many years until you’re sated? How many, until I get my due?” (pg 47). This deal does nothing to benefit him. It isn’t until Addie says he can have her soul once she is done with it, that he agrees to it. Every anniversary, Luc shows up. Whether or not he makes his presence known, he is always there in the shadows. It originally starts so he can ask if she is ready to give him her soul, to make her cave, saying “Come give me what I want, and the deal will be done, this misery can end” (pg 117) Addie denies him, just to spite him. This continues on for years until it is no longer just to taunt Addie, but it becomes a form of a relationship. Not only is Luc the only person who remembers her and sees her once a year, but Addie is there for Luc. Whether Luc realizes it or not, he desires connection, and Addie has been there for multiple lifetimes, much longer than his normal deals last. 

Henry's curse is for people to see what they want to see. I think that this is something that so many people can relate to. We want to fit in, we want people to like us, and especially, we want the people who we love to be proud of us. Henry goes through his life, before Luc, becomes a disappointment, his brother is a doctor, his sister is an art critic, and Henry dropped out of college. He is the black sheep of the family. His ex-boyfriend, whom he loved and deeply missed, wants him back, Robbie says “You were different, we weren’t a fit … You didn't know what you wanted … You have to know who you are. Back then, you didn’t” (pg. 276), but Henry knows that his feelings are not his real feelings. We all want love, and the things that we will do for love can be drastic, “You want to be loved. You want to be enough” (pg.248). When you know that they don’t love you, they love the idea they have created for you, sure, it feels nice in the beginning. But it doesn't last long, it is not real, and sometimes it can hurt more than not being loved. Because it isn't you. “Henry has no idea who he is, and now, neither does anyone else” (pg 276).  

Throughout Henry and Addies time together, Henry made a point to record Addies life. So people could remember her and speak her name. A year after Addie's disappearance, Henry published her biography as a work of fiction. Not only was he able to keep the memory of Addie alive, so people could, in a way, know her, but he also found something to do. Instead of feeling like he is existing for no reason, just taking up space. I thought it was such a cool idea to have us read the whole book, looking at it as if it was all fantasy. And having that reveal that it was a biography. It really makes us as the audience feel as though we could be part of this world, as we would never remember seeing Addie, and this is a book we just read. And we can really resonate with Bea’s anger at the end of the book when Addie just disappears, we also feel that anger/loss that Addie and Henry are not able to stay together. 

Conclusion

Overview

Lin Chong is an arms instructor for the Imperial Guard, and she is good. The issue is she is a woman, and men think they can take advantage of her. Gao Qui is an Imperial Martial who is also the Emperor's friend; Lin Chong upsets him and he decides to destroy her life. Lin Chong is forced to escape the Empire and join the Liangshan mountain bandits who seek justice for women, deviants, and progressive thinkers, all people whom the empire and men would feel threatened by. They are also murderers, thieves, smugglers and cutthroats. 

These are very dangerous people who think for themselves and change a political society that is interested in the betterment of those they deem powerful and smart, otherwise known as, men. 

My Thoughts

This book is a gender supun retelling of the Chinese Classic ‘Water Margins’ by Shi Nai'an published around the mid-14th century. I have not read the original book, so I cannot speak to how good of an adaptation it is, however, S.L Huang has done well writing a commentary society today. Even though we are not in the mid-14th century there are still parallels we can draw back to in our modern society. 

 We open to our main character, Lin Chong. She knows she is held back due to her gender. Lin Chong mentions how she has to be perfect compared to her male counterparts because there is less room for mistakes, saying “... She had no margin for raucous missteps, not the way her male colleagues did '' (pg. 25). Lin Chong is in a male-dominated field, by herself. She has no other woman in a similar position to talk or go to for guidance. Gao Qui, the Imperia Martial, makes many comments on the weakness of women, stating “... People warned me about you, they said it was only trouble, hiring a woman…” (pg. 31). Gao Qui, friend of the Emperor, meaning he is almost untouchable which is why what happens to Lin Chong is so horrible. Although she never attempted assassination and he forced her weapons upon her, he has more power and authority. His word is far above her own. No matter how many friends she has. This is the beginning of Lin Chong’s adventure.  This is still a very big part of society today, whether or not we acknowledge it, it happens. Our whole world is built for men, to make them comfortable, keep them in power and keep women below them. 

Anyway, enough with depressing shit. We have to talk about my favourite character in the whole book. Lu Da! She is probably one of the worst monks to ever exist, she says she is no longer a monk because she “... missed curfew … A hundred and seventy-three times … because I was drunk!” (pg. 6). She is also much too dramatic for her own good, saying multiple times she would kill herself for bringing any harm to her sisters and friends. If there was ever a way to bring in Gen Z humour to a book, suicidal jokes are the way to go. Lu Da is a force to be reckoned with, her strength is unmatched. I can’t think I will find another character I love so much, so soon. She was well-written. I wish I could meet her. 

I know I keep saying it, but... the fight scenes are AMAZING. Take the training scene. 

“With a brush of wind, sister Lin flew into the air --  literally flew. One hemp soul flashed against Hu Snniang’s sternum, propelling her a full three pieces back before she hit the ground and rolled against the grass. Lin Chong spun off the kick and her hands and feet flashed from the air, one two three four five six, attacking Li Kui at her pressure points before somehow swinging behind the other woman with an elbow squeezed about her neck. In a blink, Li Kui had slumped to the ground, submissive” (pg. 138), and this scene later, “... tore into them through them bone bursting as if their flesh inverted from the inside out, human faces exploding into skulls and then nothing. Slivers of meat and skeletons whipped like daggers…” (pg. 276). 

Huang has a way of writing combat that is understandable and so very entertaining. It is a little gory, which I can understand that turns some readers off of this particular book, but I love the gore. This is an adult book, be warned if you are unsettled, this may not be for you.  

It is very interesting how queerness is presented in this book. It isn't so much a queer book, as it is a book with queer characters. This has to be my favourite kind of book. It doesn't make a big deal about same-gender couples or people who don’t quite fit their birth sex. Although it is not explicitly said, it is very heavily inferred that Lu Junyi and her friend, Jia, are romantically involved, 

“ ‘We promised… we promised we would never marry’ …  it wasn't uncommon for an unmarried wealthy person to take a house companion of the same sex, though it was uncommon for such an arrangement to last more than a short time … No one chose to remain unmarried as another wealthy woman’s house companion when a contract with a proper husband was available instead” (pg. 116-117). Now I don't know about you but that certainly sounds like a loophole to live with your girlfriend and not get caught by me. This is not the only instance when a same-sex couple is mentioned. In a conversation between Chao Gai and Wu Yong, she says 

“... ‘Sister An couldn’t keep me in bed another day if she offered me the nightly ‘treatment’ she gives sister Song.’ … Not everyone in the camp knew Sister An and Sister Song were burnishing each other’s weapons so to speak…” (pg. 239). 

Liangshan is a place for people who do not fit in with the societal norm, which means those who don’t fall into the heteronormative agenda. 

The topic of gender is also brought about. For example, the Ruan Brothers aren't all male, but they are all called the Ruan Brothers. When the Liangshan go on one of their missions, they need to dress as female merchants, and the Brothers are part of this mission;

 “ ‘I’m going to be the prettiest woman out of any of you,’ Seventh Brother bragged … ‘Speak for yourself!’ Fifth Brother shot back with a laugh. Lin Chong had learned he switched back and forth between men’s and women’s clothes on normal days according to his whim, which here at Liangshan aren't entirely uncommented on.” (pg. 164) 

Fifth Brother does not fall into the gender binary, changing their clothing depending on how they feel that day. Again, I am so impressed with the ease with which this is presented, it's not as if it is something unusual and should be hidden. But rather it is brought up as a fact, and then we move on. We don't linger on it and make it into a big deal that Fifth Brother is sometimes a man or a woman. 

One thing I love is when authors give us the . Yes, I know that they don't have to and most of the time the story is wrapped up nicely without it, but I just feel it is nice to end on a calming note after intense emotions, and let me tell you, I had some very intense ones. The ending was an absolute whirlwind. Everything happened fast. It was crazy. It kept getting faster. I annotate my books and there were 35 pages that I left blank because I couldn't stop reading. I felt I had to read faster because everything moved so fast, not in a bad way, it's war ya know? I was tense. I think I physically held my breath in parts. I read the last battle scene with fantasy battle music in the background, the best decision I have ever made. Although I wasn't reading anymore, I felt I was physically there. That was such an incredible feeling!

The one thing that I found most difficult while reading this book was the number of characters. We switched from watching Lin Chong and the Liangshan to Lu Junyi in the main city. I found it a little difficult keeping up with the characters, their names and what they do. Thankfully a list of characters and their main role in the story was included. If it wasn’t for the dramatis personae I would have been lost. This is a reality I find with a lot of fantasy books, not just Huang’s. Too many characters and too complex of a story for me to keep them straight. 

Conclusion

Overview

Alex Easton is a Lieutenant from Gallicia when they get a letter from their childhood friend, Madeline, that she is dying. When they get there they are greeted by hares that don't move correctly, a glowing pond, and a falling-apart manor. There are fungi everywhere, and a strange woman, Ms Potter, a very intelligent mycologist is enamoured by all of it. Madeline sleepwalks and talks in a strange voice and Roddrick is so anxious he jumps at the opening of a door, and the American doctor, Derrick, who is just as clueless as the rest of them. 

My Thoughts 

What Moves the Dead is based on The Fallen House of Usher by Edgar Allen Poe, for the most part, it is a reimagining of Poe’s story. Kingfisher expands on Madiline's illness and she really gives us a lot more detail into the story itself. I loved how this book has undertones of feminism, Ms. Potter talks about the mycology institute and how they won't let her in because of her sex, and how she is going to make such a big discovery that they won't be able to disregard her. Alex Easton agrees with her and supports her fight to be recognized. 

What I loved most about this book, was the use and understanding of pronouns and gender. Easton and the Ushers are all from Gallicia, where they do not use the traditional, he/him, she/her, and they/them pronouns. In Gallicia they use, ta, tha, tan, than for he, she, his, and hers. These are used for adults, and there are more that are used for children being va, van and for priests and nuns they use var. If you were to use va on an adult they would take great offence, and ta on a child and people would think you are a pedophile. There is also a set of pronouns for God and rocks. Lastly, there is a new set of pronouns for soldiers, which has no link to the gender binary, ka and kan, it is extremely rude to use ta on them and it might get you punched. This also means, that due to the new pronouns, gender is no longer applicable. Thus, when a woman became a soldier they could not turn her away, because the laws said that she was now ka, therefore, she was allowed in the military. This brought about “Sworn in Soldiers”, which is what Alex Easton is. Ka is not a woman nor a man, Ka is Ka or in English They. 

This book takes place in 1890, so this is much before the acceptance of queer people. For example, if we look into the UK around this time, in 1885 there was a law against queer people and thus against trans poeple. Also, in 1889, a woman named Mary Mudge died in a workhouse (basiclly a homeless shelter today, but they have to work and many people died. It was a horrible place to be) Mudge passed as a woman her whole life, until her bith sex was revealed during her  postmortem examination. Although trans people and the nonbinary have existed for the entirety of the existence of human kind, they were not widely accepted. It is so interesting to see Easton live as a nonbinary person in an alternet reality, and to see kan be accepted and to see how other interact with kan. 

The eding of the book was crazy. It all of a sudden changed, the pace completely changed and it really became a horror book. They do a dissection of a hare and… that was so creepy. I never expected it to change so drastically. I knew there was something inhuman about Madiline, but what it was so something so unlike what I could have thought it would be.  

Conclusion

Overview

Audrey Cameron is an artist who lost her inspiration after a breakup. She has been in an artistic standstill for a while now. She spends her time working at her parent's convenience store in Pittsburgh, when a regular customer, Mr. Montgomery comes in saying he can help her. What she didn’t know though, is he meant sending her back in time to 1812; becoming the main character in a Regency Romance. 

Lucy Sinclair is the daughter of a wealthy businessman, who is trying to secure her marriage to the most wealthy man in England. Locking her in a loveless marriage, and a boring life; that is, until a strange girl appears on the field of her family’s estate when her father left on a business trip. 

While the two girls are together, trying to navigate their new life together and understand what has happened, a spark is born. Both are trying desperately to fall in love with their suitors and live the life everyone wants them to. Until they fall for each other. 

My Thoughts 

I read this entire book in 9 hours, I could not put it down. It was so good! It did not take long for me to get into the plot, there was comedy, heartbreak, embarrassment and of course romance. The ending? Wow, that was stressful. Like on the edge of my seat, book gripping, can’t look away, kind of stressful. 

I did find it annoying how perfect the world was. I know it's a historical fantasy, however, Lucy comments how “this is not accepted here”, but there were so many people that they met in 1812 who were accepting or understanding. It was a little unrealistic, I mean, I know queer people find other queer people, like how a pig finds truffles. But it was a little too perfect. I wish they had to navigate their love life a little more or for Lucy to have a little more turmoil with realizing she is a lesbian. Other than that, amazing!

Growing up bisexual, I always knew I liked both men and women, but it wasn’t until the last few years I became comfortable with my sexuality. I realized I made myself prefer men and go on dates with men because of my internalized homophobia and heteronormativity. Growing up Christian aslo didn’t help this, although my immediate family is ok with me being queer, I always heard how it's a sin from people at church, or how my uncle was shamed from the family because he married a man. I can relate to both the main characters in this respect. Lucy was born in 1794, it was hardly a time when women went to school, let alone kiss another girl and get away with it. She has the confliction of, ‘I have to be with a man because that is what society says’ and ‘I’ve never felt anything for a man and I would like to kiss a girl’. Later this causes some internal turmoil later on when she becomes aware of her feelings for Audrey. And for Audrey, who is from 2023, where she had crushes on both boys and girls, she was not as ashamed or confused by her feelings. But it was easier to be with a guy rather than being with a girl. Because sure, queerness is accepted today, but not by everyone, which is scary. 

Audrey also falls into heteronormativity, it can be easier than really exploring your feelings and facing the world where you are no longer part of the accepted norm. Heteronormativity for those who don’t know is: The assumption that everyone is heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities. This includes the often implicitly held idea that heterosexuality is the norm and that other sexualities are “different” or “abnormal.”. It is easier to fall into the social norm, rather than challenge it. Rachel Lippincott explains it really well in Audrey's realization of her feelings, “I’ve never been with a girl before. I’ve had crushes, sure, … And then I was with Charlie, and I could almost… avoid it entirely if I wanted to. Tuck it away into a neat little box; convincing myself it wasn’t a part of myself I really needed to explore.”. Many people feel this way, this is why most queer women and/or transmen go through a period of hyperfeminity, where they try to convince themselves and others that they are straight and/or cis, they can conform to society and live how the world wants them to live, love who they should love. Hyperfeminity for those who don’t know is: the exaggeration of stereotypically female behaviour, based on so-called gender roles. This can be seen in the way they dress, behave or how they pursue relationships. 

I will be honest, I am someone who doesn’t believe in the whole idea of true love, nor do I really understand how love works. This probably has something to do with me being asexual and aromantic… anyway, I had been asking people around me what love is, and why people put effort into something that will most likely fall apart or only cause pain when it ends. I feel like the universe put this book in my way because I was instantly bitch-slapped with an answer to my questions. Which brings me to another reason why I enjoyed this book. It made me understand love a little more, without making me feel pessimistic about my own love life. As Mr. Montgomery told Audrey, who was becoming much like me after her failed relationship, he says “There’s just as much heartbreak in not putting yourself out there, because it guarantees you’re going to miss out. And I’m not just talking about love … Just because you got hurt once by the wrong person doesn’t mean it’ll happen again if you find the right one.” and later on James, a suitor turned friend, says “Sometimes I reckon, love — real love —doesn’t care about what’s proper or what other people think. It finds you when you least expect it, where you least expect it”. Even though love is confusing and you don’t understand it, doesn’t mean that you are any less deserving of it. Even if it ends in failure, and it can lead to pain, at least you loved. I feel this book has helped me grow and understand, that not everything has to be perfect, which is a lesson I have been trying to learn for years now and will continue to learn. Mr. Montgomery later says “But even true love doesn’t come without pain, without risk. And that doesn’t make it something to run from or leave behind. It can be scary, and unexpected… but when it is with the right person. It’s worth it.”.

Conclusion

As the book progressed, it was so irritating seeing Audrey and Lucy misunderstand each other, and I loved every second of it. For most of the book they are pining for each other, it is very much a slow burn. When they finally get together, it is so good!!! There is the beginnings of a sex scene but it’s fade to black, and it doesn’t go into much detail. Remember this is still a YA book. I would have loved for it to have been written as an adult and be able to explore a more mature storyline and themes, but it still works very well as a YA. 

Overview

Our main character, Blanca, has been dead for 300+ years and can not move on in her afterlife. She flits through her mundane existence watching others enjoy the simplicity of life, the fearful kisses of men, the passions of sex, the sweetness of an orange, the grumblings of hunger, and the feeling of heartbreak when losing someone. She is able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life by sharing a conscience with living people around her.

Blanca resides on the top of the hill on the island of Valldemossa, in a little town called Mallorca; in the Charterhouse, which is an old monastery. Blanca has watched secret relationships bloom and crumble, families move in and out and people live their lives to the end very end, waiting for someone to join her. On this specific November in 1838, an unconventional family moves into the Charterhouse, and Blanca falls in love with the mother, George. Their relationship is entirely one-sided and is more admiring than a relationship; Balance watches as George writes her book, the children play and fight, and Chopin lives a dying life.

My Thoughts

I went into this book only knowing that it was a lesbian relationship between a woman and a ghost. Which it is, but it is also so much more and nothing like that at all. We start with the very first sentence “Of course, it wasn’t the first time I’d seen two men kissing”, you can probably see where this is going. In most books, they try to ease you into the romance, they don’t start with a 300+ year old ghost watching two monks making out and progressing to having sex. Blanca is very lonely, as most would be if they were not able to communicate with others and watch all of their family members die off. She flits around the Charterhouse and across the island, often visiting her last living relative, her great-great-granddaughter, Bernadita; and making The Sacristan's life a living hell by sprinkling bread crumbs into all of his food, as he has celiac disease; he raped a young girl. It isn’t until George and her family move in, does Blanca have something to do with her time. When I started this book, I thought it was a love story between a ghost and a mortal woman that was reciprocated on both sides. Not a relationship where George is being watched all day, every day. Blanca steals Georges's shirt to smell and imagen that George is with her, she imagens what inside of George's vagina would feel like and how it would be to kiss her. She often caresses George as she sleeps and kisses her neck.

George is not your typical woman, not like a “I’m not like other girls” kind of way more of a “dresses suck, I wish I could fuck women all the time and not be questioned about it” kind of way. George wears shirts and pants in a time when women wore dresses, she smokes cigars, she writes books, has sex with women, and is generally unwomanlike for the time she is in. George was married, that's how her kids came about, but she and her husband divorced. It wasn't a typical relationship either way, he had sex with the maids and any other woman that would have him , while she handled the finances and wrote her books. She jumped from man to man, and the occasional woman, she went to parties and lived alone in Paris, this is where she met her most prominent partner, Francis Chopin. Yes, the real famous pianist. Although they thoroughly enjoyed each other, they did not do well together. Chopin is needy, “girlish”, and babies Solange (George's daughter) and George is controlling, adventurous, and rash, she can’t stay in one place for long. Chopin possibly has consumption disease (ie. TB) or some other unidentified ailment. And they go to Mallorca, Spajn in hopes it will make him better. It doesn’t work, and he gets much worse.

The book jumps between the present, Blanca's past, and Georges's past. I’ll focus on one character at a time. First Blance. We learn that Blanca was 14 when she died, she had a pretty ok life. It was going fine, until Ham fucked it up. Ham is a novice Monk from the monastery that Blanca notices when the monks go on a walk. Ham diverges from the group and goes to the beach instead, and Blanca follows, which is when her fate was sealed. They meet on the beach multiple times, and Ham convinces Blanca they should have sex. Which is an A+ idea, Ham! Blanca doesn’t really enjoy it, because screw women's pleasure right! Only men should enjoy sex. Ham tells Blanca to wash her vagina out after as to not get pregnant, great idea Ham. And… it didn’t work, Blanca got pregnant, it's obviously her fault because a monk/man could never cause that. Nope. Never. I hate Ham so much, who's nickname is Ham anyway? It's so stupid. And when Blanca and her mom confront him about her being pregnant and how they have to get married, he blames her for running his life! Like what? NO. Just because you found out your actions have consequences for the first time in your life does not mean you can blame everyone else for an issue you helped cause. And then after she breaks down because she doesn't want this baby he asks her to have sex again?? NO! Anyway, Blanca ends up dying of childbirth in his room with blood everywhere, so I guess that's payback enough.

Now on to George. As a child, George was sent to a boarding school taught by nuns. I love the queer religious trauma already. She meets a friend here, nicknamed Boy for her boyish nature. She is rebellious and punched George at their first meeting. They begin meeting up at night, playing and talking. They have a game where they have to save the lost princess and when George asks what Boy is going to do when they save the princess, she responds “I’ll kiss her”, this is Georges's first experience with a non-heteronormative idea. George admired Boy for her willingness to not conform to society norms, like women wearing dresses, and reading books not writing books. George is most likely bisexual, and she was in straight relationships, like her husband, a poet names Jules, and Chopin, however when she was with Jules she also met an actress named Marie. They start off as friends, exchanging letters, moving on to longing glances and later on it is implied that she and George had sex when Jules leaves for the night. George admits to fantasizing about having sex with her, mentioning what she would imagen touching another women's vulva.

Conclusion

As I finished the last few pages, I found myself reflecting on life, genuinely, I hadn't thought of the nuances that I pass over just because I do it all the time. Like enjoying the subtleties of fruit, the laughter I hear when on a walk, the breeze that flows through the trees — unconventional love, and the pursuit of identity. "Briefly, A Delicious Life" is a testament to the power of storytelling to shed light on the human experience in all its complexities from the point of view of someone whose life ended too early.