...Welcome. Or something.

this whole ouroboros thing keeps coming back to bite me in the ass

You know A tumblr is like a toaster if the Toasts were Poasts

Toastr, they cpuld have called it. Instead we are bouncjng around in a little rotating cylinder. And someone stuck a big chunk of rosy colored quartz in even though we all probably rank around 3-4 in hit competitive game mohs hardness scale so we're all getting pulverized. to bits. And sludge. We could have been getting evenly toasted with butter And honey

stop. analyse that text through the lens of its author's intentions and original historical context. okay now take the author out back and kill them dead and analyse that text as though it were published by your mutual yesterday and is in direct conversation with the contemporary discourse that's most relevant to your life. okay now pick your favorite angle of interpretation and come up with the strongest possible argument against it. now imagine that the text is your best friend and that it means you well and that you naturally give it every benefit of the doubt because you're on its side and you want the best for it. now imagine that the text wants you dead and it'll eat you if you don't eat it first. now pretend that you found this text locked away in a cave with no evidence of when or where it came from and you have to divine its meaning solely through its internal coherence and nothing else. okay now address the elephant in the room aspect of the text you've been ignoring because you find it boring or confusing or uncomfortable and become the number one expert on it. now spend forty minutes assigning all the characters dnd classes with at least three sentences of reasoning each. okay now do the cha cha slide.

fumbled the queen but i still have to remain in her service because of my oath for life. so its just really awkward now all the time. fuck my stupid chivalrous life

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

this just got a hockey rpf tag. due to the nature of this website

other hockey rpf enjoyers now expressing skepticism and disbelief at the choice of man referenced above and tagging it with their preferred and more horchataesque men. i love it here and i'll leave when i die

never kill yourself . your next apple could be so good it makes you feel like a horse

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

That’s a tarot card

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

there's two people fishing at the swim beach for some reason, as if that could possibly be good fishing. go try somewhere else guys, i kicked the only one nearby

picture a guy abruptly seeing a friend he hasn’t seen in about a year & saying “pinch me, i must be dreaming!” followed by someone actually pinching him like a little joke & this causing him to wake up on a hellish magma-covered field of volcanic rock being constantly struck by meteorites

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!