💊ノボカイン💊🔫

i continue to be alone in a world full of people, nobody cares to know my name but stay invested in what it is i do.. the people who know me, just see my as a memory or a old friend. i sit here & contemplate a lot about the what if's & the things i could have done.. would they have make a difference? could i be in a different position that i actually smile & talk about? i've distanced myself from so many things trying to regain what i had.. but what is it i had? happiness or confidence in the things i wanted to achieve? the easiest breaths compared to what i have accustom to? i wish the best for the people who want & strive for it.. that's why i don't get the energy people have when it comes back around on me.. so many people who have said the "thoughtful truth" don't want good for me... i know some of the scummiest motherfuckers so far in my lifetime... but i cannot let their actions towards me set me back any longer, it makes me angry which is an emotion i've learned i cannot handle in the the best of light... i would love nothing more than to handle these demons with my own hands.. but i need to leave it in the hands of a power where it will not damage them as much as it has me so far... i've been hurting sense i can remember.. i don't want it or need it.. this evil can not help me in this life with what i have planned.

if you ever need a ear to listen, i got you.. but listen close to me first, i’d rather you trust me than supposedly love me.