i just want them to be happy :ā]
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@estdevium
i just want them to be happy :ā]

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i want what they have
ā° *ļ¼CASTIEL.
Ā Ā THE DEEP WOODS : @estdevium.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā AMONG THE IMITATED GENESIS THEY WALK, AS A SCHOLAR WHO READS A BOOK. Embracing studiously each treeform ; each little motive shape, curvature; the prone, the flitting ; the marks of prolonged hesitation, an unintended mar due to essaying hand. Humanityās; natureāsāallāsāwits direct : its fallible attempts at creation. Castiel thinks : they are glory. Of earth and sun they are wise, and they nourish their broodsāweave, build, hive, and contend ; take harmony and discord, fortifying mental bulwarks against an unjust worldāpassioned pleas armed against lifeās bruises or caresses. They cannot hear their prayers just yet ( the speech of them, informal or precise : renewed, vying for faith, and they move to learn, never to pursue ; to teach ).
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā So, they press on, luminous-eyed, celestial-shining ; catching their reflection on more of the riverview masterstrokes of craft, aglow. Castiel is not the pureness mirrored : they are not filtered crystal-clear, sweet-silvery, or sparkle dripping argentine. They are not without a fall of their own and, simultaneously, they are without self-forgiveness with all the intricacies aloft maintained. Fascination with soul-lightās excess, many lessons and counsels given, they are exiled for expressing wisdom of human elaborateness, of firm angel-speak expelling prophetic tellings, of the zeal of love theyāve acquired, and how it persists in the center of everythingāspherical. They yearn to be humanityās physician and sage.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āand, for that, itās no sense of astonishment when they realize the discordance whole : HE in a whirl of voluble assertiveness, his burdens decreed. The atmosphere is suddenly hollow tones of wondering roared.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Dean. Ā Ā āĀ Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Unlike most of their ilk, they do not expect froth-wrath, contention, or tumult of deluded holiness. Like a thundercloud swinging on the moon : forth, free of deluge, a deliberate warcry. Like their grace-pitted warriorās shields after battle, bade all believe that they are no other than wrathfullest Godās own. Of steel breathed over, glowing cold, unearthly, they reveal :
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā I surmised you would eventually track me here. Ā Ā āĀ Ā
itās gentle, the twisting cadence of death beneath the soles of his boots. the almost imperceptible steps falling on dried leaves, around the decaying pieces of woodĀ Ā (Ā Ā the colorful bursts of rot, fungus but its own blooming lifeĀ Ā ).Ā Ā habit is what causes the hunter to carry himself with a graceful silence in the forest; light footedĀ Ā &Ā Ā goal oriented. fingers brushing across the rough bark amongst the millions of silhouettes. with eyes closed dean can almost feel itĀ Ā āĀ Ā the way everything here could be uprooted so easilyĀ Ā (Ā Ā the ways in which he could burn it, stifle the life to the drum pounding in his veinsĀ Ā ).Ā Ā in the same moment, though, does gaze open to filtered sunlight, the songs on the wind. another step forward.
still falling to the goading voice of the hunt. to the way it was thrilled to track their preyĀ Ā (Ā Ā their friend, something such vile moments could touchĀ Ā āĀ Ā heaving expanse of memory filled vision flashed redĀ Ā ).Ā Ā to even see heaven standing but a few lengths away.
āĀ Ā Ā cas.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā hesitancy a barely perceptible note in his voice, matched frown marring his face. a caution not unwarranted. gaze caught on the slight unfamiliarity of the angels faceĀ Ā (Ā Ā oh, not again. please not againĀ Ā ).
few steps more bringing dean all the more closer. huffed laughter a mark of incredulityĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā youāre not difficult to findā¦Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā to meĀ Ā (Ā Ā the constant ache burning at his arm just one piece of the puzzleĀ Ā ).Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā not a whole world for you to flutter off to here, anyway.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā arms crossed; fallback to a faƧade ofĀ annoyance easy enough. how else does one ignore all the ways their life continually falls shortĀ Ā ?Ā Ā goes wrongĀ Ā ?Ā Ā hands them this. the ways dean himself has caused castielās fall from grace.
āĀ Ā there a reason you avoiding me.Ā Ā Ā ā
Goo Goo Dolls | Iris
And all I can taste is this moment. And all I can breathe is your life. And sooner or later itās over. I just donāt want to miss you tonight.Ā
And I donāt want the world to see me,Ā ācause I donāt think that theyād understand.Ā When everythingās made to be broken,Ā I just want you to know who I am.Ā
ā° *ļ¼RUI.
@estdevium.
Ruiās ā admittedly, gotten a little lucky with familiar faces. Hanako being hisĀ Hanako had been luck only, Rui thinks, and heād pushed it by assuming Nene was the same one he knew (even if she was). Rui had⦠Rui had been forgotten before, so even though heĀ recognizes Dean, he makes no attempt to insinuate that he does.
Itās easier that way, admittedly, in case Rui hasĀ been forgotten about again. While he hadnāt been particularly attached, itās less than⦠ideal, to know someone else doesnāt know who he is anymore. He knew how badly it had hurt him once upon a time when Hanako didnāt know who he was.
So as he gazes out at the fog, one hand flexing out at his side to resist the instinctive want to play with his threads even if thereās no threat at hand, Rui doesnāt admit that he knows the face nearby.
āAre you meaning to take care of some of the statues yourself?ā
Rui glances over his shoulder; the attempt to repress his threads doesnāt work very well, because after only a few more seconds his hands have both raised, and he stretches a web idly out in front of him.
āYouād better be prepared before taking a step outside. Those things are relentless.ā
a mixed history of night haunts; a shovel taken to dirt in the stillness, the low creak of rotting wood beneath old worn boots. moon long hidden behind clouds as the distant sound of chanting that once reverberated in his sternum. there wasnāt a fear in the nightĀ Ā (Ā Ā the things that biteĀ Ā &Ā Ā hissĀ Ā &Ā Ā melt away into shadowsĀ Ā ).Ā Ā no, that had been long trained out in his youthĀ Ā āĀ Ā between the sweat slick grip of a knifeĀ Ā &Ā Ā the sharp snap of a gun. this fogĀ Ā ?Ā Ā oh, it was reminiscent of many a childhood memory; many an adult memory. it was not hesitancy in his actions but known caution to how flimsy a humans senses were against those who called such conditions home.Ā
then, of course, was the familiar face of theĀ Ā (Ā Ā not kid, a reminderĀ Ā )Ā Ā perched on the precipice as well. eyes glintingĀ in the dark, the hunter releasing a soft sighĀ Ā āĀ Ā the bitter scent of blood in a flash of memory.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā I was at least going to see. whereās the harm in trying at this pointĀ Ā ?Ā Ā itās either do it or sit aroundĀ Ā &Ā Ā lord knows Iāve never been to good at just twiddling my thumbs.Ā Ā Ā ā
taking a step closerĀ Ā āĀ Ā fingers itching for the thrum of bone carefully tucked far awayĀ Ā āĀ Ā peering past with a tilt of the head.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā did you plan toĀ Ā ?Ā Ā rui, wasnāt it.Ā Ā Ā ā

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the fact Dean is good with kids gets talked about a lot but not really like. why heās so good with kids.
the thing is when youāre an adult who survived child abuse you get to see the roles switched; youāre six foot tall now and you see just how small and helpless kids are and think what kind of monster would hurt someone so small? and the thing with Dean is heās always been protecting people younger and smaller than him like he did with Sam but that was when he was a kid himself and standing in front of a child when youāre thirty is different. and Dean just wants every kid to have the love and safety they deserve because he didnāt and he knows just how fucked up that is. like that scene of him telling Jack he has nightmares often, breaking the cycle by showing this kid that just because heās his dad it doesnāt mean heās not also human; that heās a person who will fuck up and should be called out on that and questioned when it happens and not a god on a pedestal that Jack isnāt ever allowed to question. not like his dad whose word was king unless you wanted a bloody nose. anyway every time I think about this I feel light headed
You say that like itās just another Tuesday.
ā° *ļ¼BONES.
If he knew any better while living in this city is that every one of the resident were stubborn as a damn mule. One look at his features theyāll come barking up a storm, as if he was going to stab them and let them out to rot. It was infuriating at best. So Bones gave a scowling frown their way with a death glare to match his current emotion; most he wanted to throttle, lecture folks who are damn crazy enough to try to kill themselves. Was he the only sane person in god forsaken city? Or was everyone out to give him a headache? Maybe even pulling his hair out, he was only in his late thirties, he really didnāt needed to remind everyone to be careful.Ā āYāthink this shit is some kinda joke, buddy?ā He snapped, not resisting on speaking his mind out; he held the arm with delicateness, with hand soft as feather.Ā āDid yāwent to medical schoolĀ ān earned your degree? No? So howĀ ābout yālet me do my damn job??ā He was going to make sure theyāll learn one way or another,Ā āYāoutta yer goddamn mind walkinā around with wound like this??? Disinfection could lose a damn arm, yāstubborn bastard.ā Damn it, it was like talking with Jim, damn he missed that kid, wondering if he was fine without his CMO.Ā āSecondly, whaā in gods name happened? yāgoinā around pickinā fights with random strangers?āĀ
voice a hard line, underlying growl to his words all to present these days. flicker of anger alight in his eyesĀ Ā (Ā Ā better then the pain, at least. the burning touch of his own flesh knitting back together both faster then humanly possibleĀ Ā &Ā Ā the slow, slow drag of discomfortĀ Ā ).Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā Iām not here for a piece of paper you got from a fancy little school, Iām here because you are incredibly frustratingĀ Ā &Ā Ā last time I thought to stitch up my own arm it took way to long.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā low hiss breathed out through clenched teeth; smell of fresh blood alighting something dangerous.Ā Ā (Ā Ā the whole room pulsing with itĀ Ā āĀ Ā how in the grappled moments of silence the stagnant sound of it on the floor kept drawing his attentionĀ Ā ).Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā it āaināt like Iām gonna die of some infection or bloodloss asshole. at this rate Iām thinking ditching the arm; might just be fucking easier.Ā Ā Ā ā
the sharp contrast of sudden stillness where his fingers had been clenching at nothing, snorting as the hunters gaze turned the other way.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā donāt think āwhat happenedā is necessary doc. all you need to know is my arm got shredded.Ā Ā Ā ā

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ā° *ļ¼RUI.
He didĀ see it, even from where he was trying to hide, that brief flicker of relief, or somethingĀ ā it was gone in the same moment that Rui realized heād clearly done a godawful job of keeping himself hidden. Even under the guise of night, a mess of blood upon shining diamonds wasnāt exactly something he could hope stayed hidden, huh. āGood riddanceā, some part of him chided himself in the back of his mind. āFor what?ā, another quieter part of him asked back.
āIām āā And well, he wasnāt, soĀ āI am fineā was a lie. Rui fell silent, not moving his hand away from his stomach just yet. They both knew it was a silly question to ask, anyway.Ā āIām not some stupid child. We donāt have to act like thereās nothing there.ā
A funny thing to say when he definitely wasĀ a child, and definitely believed that he wasĀ stupid, but it was one thing to believe it in himself and another to let someone talk down to him over themĀ believing it. Rui sighed. He hadĀ asked if Rui was alright, but he sort of doubts that he really⦠cares about that? He wouldĀ be fine, though. As soon as his body let itself heal, heād be just fine. Even as weak as he was here, it wasnāt fatal. Painful. Irritating. But not fatal. Far from it.
āI was hungry.ā Rui still didnāt like to talk about it, but most people would have freaked out more by now. Some humans were curious things. And Rui wasnāt exactly in any place to avoid the obvious, or leave, orā¦
āNothing about those diamond creatures to do with it, other than making things harder for me. So donāt talk to me aboutĀ āpretendingā, would you? Itās annoying.ā
eyebrows raising on their own at the others tone of voice, soft breath of laughter as the hunter settled back on his heels. directing a more thoughtful look to the disaster besides themĀ Ā (Ā Ā blood slowly coagulating across the ground in dark streaksĀ Ā āĀ Ā leftover chunks of flesh almost forgotten. the stark white snapped bone a harsh sight in the moonlightĀ Ā ).Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā you donāt need to be a childĀ to look the other way, you know. but heyĀ Ā !Ā Ā we can do it your way.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā rocking up in aĀ Ā (Ā Ā slightly painful, honestly. when did he start actually feeling so oldĀ Ā ?Ā Ā )Ā Ā rise. mentally turning over the situation as a whole. it was almost tragic, in a way. this was so disgustingly tame dean wanted to clock himself upside the head for.... not caringĀ Ā ?Ā Ā no. that wasnāt necessarily right. then again was it him or was it the mark that got a sick thrill out of the mangled bodyĀ Ā āĀ Ā cutting off those thoughts there, actually. better a rumination left for later.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā well kid, I will agree that red meat is plenty good but maybe donāt wear it on your face. Iāve been told thatās rude.Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā turning away from the other with leftover caution, even if he wasnāt to concerned per say at the momentĀ Ā (Ā Ā always watch your backĀ Ā ).
gaze rising to take in the crystal formationsĀ Ā (Ā Ā againĀ Ā )Ā Ā with a more critical eye; while he had wondered about the abilities of the creatures this was enough of a giveaway as anything. they werenāt going to be easy to handle if unavoided. god he was tired of this hunted bullshit.
āĀ Ā Ā how about you humor me hereĀ Ā &Ā Ā we try to find somewhere that doesnāt have you doing the creepy eye thing in plain sight of our deceased friend over thereĀ Ā &Ā Ā Iāll feel better for having not been an emotionless jackass to someone not tall enough to ride a rollercoaster.Ā Ā Ā ā
The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
tryna get back into this drawing thing rah rah
hiiii (gayly)
ā° *ļ¼CASTIEL.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā THEY ARE TO PERUSE : FROM REASON NOT DISJOINED. On them, their principal expression, their great word of life, exhibits they. Twi-minded of them ; dated, ancient. Their retellings of the above, and their indubitable readings of the SWORD and SHIELD. Hell detested and Heaven adoredāthe malignity and the lauded.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Unfaith clamouring to be coined as faith by insincere attestations : if theyāre aloft for aid whilst imploring storms, his essence is the spur.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā I have resided here prior to your arrival. I would have recognized their ill-intended ministrations by now, Dean, by mere intellect and telepathic transference alone.Ā Ā āĀ Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āand what he whose senses seem to have been usurped of his issue mind ; he, who has burst from the chrysalis as an AN INFIDEL OF THE SCORNED. He who has been singularly doomed to what he execrates and writhes to shun. When conflagration has passed him vapor to the sun-flare : shall his horrid pall be lifted, and routinely presented with grace nigh divine ; the truest sun relumed.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā ( āi have always had faith in youā reanimates. a declaration which bids him wash foul sins. )
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Prophesied, this : the commandeering aura as they confront Dean head-on ; the purposeful firm grip on wrist, thumb pressing into the lightning-spark network of skin, eyes in their severity ( an implacable sky ) never leaving his haggard quarry-features and heavyset frown where effluvial darkness has dared to reign. His cry to Heaven is a cry to them they would never intentionally evade.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā And where do you get off proclaiming faith ? Where was this pledge when I needed to hear it ? Where was your unwavering faith in me when I intended to acquire souls from Purgatory to defeat Raphael and regain Heaven ? Unfathomable doubt became fathomable. And yet, here you are, brandishingā¦Ā Ā āĀ Ā āitās scriptural : thereof, itās a firm roadway between proofs of slaughtered nature ( a shepherd slain ! ) and himself from extinction clutched, by virtue of his self-disdain, contrasting much with brutes and pacifists. From soul-dust, of him abhorred ; their fingers tighten on his wrist as if snatched by grace discovering worth. As if to sever him from the hollowness of it. Ā Ā āĀ Ā ā¦brandishing something primordial. Encased in sin. Something from bloody ground, and from that old devil of the thousand lures. Through a dense hood of malevolence. Through terror ; through distrust. Soon, it will make you lie like a blood-red sunset. DeanāĀ Ā āĀ Ā
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Mortal seems the touch, yet makes immortal the hand that takes : they linger, deepen their glower, while in new astonishment ; high rise the lashes in wonder of a newfound alternate. Raise Deanās arm momentarily, they do ; then it drops, the vice-grip never faltering yet the faults of feature begin to pervade them, cerebrally. His soul is in their name.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā You do not have the competence to maintain faith.Ā Ā āĀ Ā
it was commonĀ Ā (Ā Ā wrapped in the guise of hope, always desperate for somethingĀ Ā āĀ Ā someoneĀ Ā āĀ Ā to reach backĀ Ā )Ā Ā that the faces foggy in the haze to play tricks. games with those familiarĀ Ā (Ā Ā &,Ā Ā on occasion, some not. toying with his sympathiesĀ Ā )Ā Ā as if the dark had been but a daydream; those same faces turning into tormentors just as fast. an anthem to his own weakness. it was, in hindsight, a game hell had probably learned from heavenĀ Ā āĀ Ā warpedĀ Ā &Ā Ā ruined pieces of himself so easily tarnished. the possibilities of this being but another mind game all to possible in the wake of colder eyes, figure still a touch to inhumanĀ Ā (Ā Ā but hadnāt the angel always beenĀ Ā Ā ?Ā Ā even in their fall, even in their shattered graceĀ Ā ).Ā Ā frown marring a scarredĀ Ā &Ā Ā weary face, posture easily fallen into his own fathers beaten soldierĀ Ā āĀ Ā for thisĀ Ā ?Ā Ā this he would weather like the restĀ Ā (Ā Ā it was an apt punishment, was it notĀ Ā ?Ā Ā ).Ā Ā dredging up the worst of them. it was with those words the eerie visage before him made so much more sense.
message of faith feeling all to rotten in response.
āĀ Ā Ā as if you have ever sought me for proper answers. itās a two way street casĀ Ā āĀ Ā either you ask for my help or you don't, but you do not get to condemn me for your secrets. the soulsĀ Ā ?Ā Ā raphaelĀ Ā ?Ā Ā you lied cas. you lied overĀ Ā &Ā Ā over again while watching meĀ Ā &Ā Ā shacking up with your new best pal crowleyĀ Ā āĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā a grimace, gaze darting off to the side to match the torrent of emotions below a well crafted faƧadeĀ Ā (Ā Ā for now who was he to comment on the bodies taking up residence in crowleyās bedĀ Ā ).Ā Ā he had always been good at punishing himself, huhĀ Ā ?Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā the souls were never what you thoughtĀ Ā !Ā Ā would think the apocalypse part one was enough to show you that what's writtenĀ Ā &Ā Ā promised isn't necessarily what's true.Ā Ā Ā ā
perhaps before, back when dean had been more human then otherĀ Ā (Ā Ā wrath its own strength, burning through his veins with that touchĀ Ā āĀ Ā addictive the electricity sizzling across their joined skin with the rush of sheer power. flashes of memory, castielās piecemeal celestial form a glimpse through brimstone charred eyesĀ Ā )Ā Ā the angelās grip would have been more robust. castiel a solid, incomprehendable expanse fit to decimate all that in their path. but ohĀ Ā !Ā Ā how now the remnants of cainās finest rose within his own being; a brush of curse born strength in an attempt to pull away. it was the acidic burn of vitriol pouring out with bright seared clarityĀ Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā I already heard this spielĀ Ā &Ā Ā I will not repeat myself.Ā Ā Ā ā
hallucination or something otherĀ Ā Ā (Ā Ā he knew what he was, what he had been since the startĀ Ā āĀ Ā the very touch of you corruptsĀ Ā ),Ā Ā born of twisted lessons from immortal intervention. the mark wouldnāt allow the whip quick twist of anger to do anything but bite back.
Ā (Ā Ā āĀ Ā pleaseĀ Ā )Ā Ā Ā āĀ Ā Ā if thatās what youāre going to be then stay the hell away from me.Ā Ā Ā ā

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Cas: What are your future plans?
Dean: Lunch
Cas: I meant long term plans
Dean: What, like dinner?