[ # ESPYROT, ] I AM OBSESSED WITH A STORY CALLED LIGHT. independent and unaffiliated multimuse blog. limited and by inspiration activity with frequent gaps. read the rules below the read more before following. written by starr / '95 / she/her & he/him.
a study in: the old story of cain and abel; a systematic unraveling, dissection, and dismissal of emotion; coding the gods who torment us; the unfixable machine and the human problem; the artist as open for interpretation; we begin and end with nothing, but the middleβ that's everything; two instruments resound with each other in an empty room.
muse list, not all encompassing and others unlisted are open.
( somnium files ) kuruto ryuki, mizuki date, hitomi sagan, amame doi;
( persona ) goro akechi, yusuke kitagawa, sumire yoshizawa;
( genshin ) childe, kazuha kaedehara, wanderer;
( rain code ) yakou furio, halara nightmare;
( hsr ) sampo koski, kafka;
( other series ) bsd, kny, ghost hunt, reverse 1999, disco elysium, paranormasight, tsubasa: reservoir chronicle, fire emblem: three houses, etc.
i will not interact with anyone below twenty-one years old. if you don't have an age on your blog, i will not follow back. as an adult, i prefer sharing a space with other adults.
this blog will be low activity. i work long hours in a high stress role, meaning energy and motivation fluctuate. there may be unannounced, extended periods where i am not present here. i am mutuals only for in-character interactions.
basic human decency is expected and non-negotiable. harmful or discriminatory behavior will result in an instant block and report.
i will not interact with blogs from the following media, as fandom culture, in-series themes, or actions by those involved in their creation are not worth endorsing or bring me general discomfort: killing stalking, attack on titan, vivziepop's series, five nights at freddy's, hetalia, kuroshitsuji, harry potter, my little pony. list is not all encompassing. i reserve the right to curate my space.
please tag visual and written depictions of pregnancy and childbirth.
mentions of death, religious themes and imagery, gore, unreality and cartoon logic made visceral will appear on this blog. themes of rape, incest, pedophilia, or anything similar will not appear and will result in you being blocked if they appear on your blog. do not bring pro-ship content near me. most sensitive content will be tagged accordingly.
graphics were created by me using resources online. do not take without permission. icon psd and border from somresources.
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there are currently 13 writer slots up for grabs as we are rolling into the third chapter of ππππππππππ ! if you are interested in telling this story with us , join HERE ! we can't wait to meet you !
okumura haru had always been of the opinion that a garden was a place to empty your thoughts into. the plants had no worries, every need tended to and cared for, and she had so very many, so who could blame her if in the tending and caring she buried her worries alongside the greenery, packed it into the soil?
certainly not anyone she would divulge said opinion to.
it was peaceful here. haru couldnβt quite remember the last time she was worried over something, or what it had been.
she doesnβt manage to dwell on it for long, because in the end, the disquiet is brief. kurusu breaks it with the beginnings of a conversation, and haru is abruptly reminded of the fact that sheβs not alone on the rooftop. her gaze refocuses, blurring into clarity.
βeh? oh, no, i didnβt mean to worry you! itβs justβ¦β she hums lightly. βi was just thinkingβ¦ the garden has been doing well lately. i canβt recall the last time i was gardening to let out my frustration, even though it feels like i used to do that fairly often. itβs silly, isnβt it? that i wonder if iβm too happy.β
βah, but itβs certainly nothing i should bother you with! after all, youβre just here for the plantsβ¦ iβm glad enough to have the help, kurusu-kun; i couldnβt ask you to listen to my pointless ramblings.β
"after everything, i get it β like the quiet after a loud bang. settling into everyday life feels off." the garden has been doing well lately because the gardener's hands move unhindered. [ try to forget maruki and february and those eyes that stare with withering distain at what you've become under the guise of paradise. eat the apple, akira, arsene suggests, escape eden. who are you once you deny your inner self? ] "but you earned the right to be too happy, haru."
we all did, didn't we?
why doesn't she rely on him more? "they're not pointless. i don't mind listening." it's all he's ever good for, yet, the moment it's something he wants, suddenly it's not worth his time. when did the burdens of his friends stop being worth his time? ( there are no burdens, remember? only the lives they wanted laid at their feet. a final, everlasting supper. eat. )
"i'm here for you, not the plants. sorry if i . . . made you feel otherwise."
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Β Β the years would have been kind to the monastery, had it not been for the constant ravaging during the start of the war, the absences from within. not unlike the past, yuri comes with the cold sting of a wolfβs bite, so that the hairs on dorotheaβs arm may rise. five years of assuming he would be fine, trusting he could outsmart death as he has most nobles. and now here, in the flesh, thereβs things he ought to hope for the future, something that moves beyond immediate threats or material goods. a different fulfillment. his dismissals are, though expected, not any less unwelcome.Β
Β Β β why yes, it is. otherwise, the goddess would have no followers, β she has long stopped pricking herself with that resentment, but to say it aloud without seteth to disapprove was something she could find delight in. β you should know, though, i don't mind such a fate, if it means my songs will outlive me. that is . Β . Β . should this fantasy of mine come true, β an opera of outcasts, as she once put it. dorothea turns away, casts her eyes skywards, the moonlight strange in its glow. there's comfort in that plain face gazing towards them, the images she could paint in it.
Β Β β you really donβt have an ideal future that stirs something in you, yurikins ? β Β @espyrot + cont.
"do they follow or are they leashed and led?" yuri leads in loyalty, scruffs his fellows between his teeth when their bodies fall and demands get up, fight; he's tired of everyone speaking themselves into rest, speaking of legacy and what will be when those who fought are long gone. glaring into the earth, he stands with his neck straight and fists clenched β never bowing head to the gallows.
( yuri-bird, you never look at the stars anymore, hapi laments, saddled at his side, i miss when you used to fly. )
dorothea is another foul feathered by delusion if she thinks anything survives this and, yet still, they have to survive it. "i count my futures in each fatal blow that misses. if i look further than that, i'll be dead on the morrow. like so many others." then, to be cruel, "like ferdinand."
β come on, we all have fantasies. β from dorothea to yuri!
"fantasy is for before burial," terse, blade beneath tongue and dirt loose around teeth, yet it draws ghosts from grave. something unspeakable happens to children here, that slow death of innocence that bares itself to martyrdom or cynicism or, heaven forbid, devoutness. he counts it in lives taken, souls lost, books and books of names crossed out into epitaph: here lies fools who fell like fools at the world's feet.
yuri smells war coming like blood in snow, calling and sickening in equal measure. he bares his teeth. wolves are wolves.
do the roses keep that scent masked for others? @aicidos focuses on the songs sung before screams. "or, for those like you, something you are buried with." ; β.
β since when did i even care what anybody thinks of me? β
β a few true friends are better than a thousand friendly-feigning faces. β
β curse these old wounds of mineβ¦i once was stronger than this. β
β look at yourself, you are too calm. suppressing your anger for the illusion of control. β
β in spite of everything, i donβt hate you. not entirely. β
β forgiveness is like a special healing ointment, to be applied sparingly. β
β better to be modest than a braggart, i suppose. but you might aspire to be somewhere in between. β
β there is a stir of something different in the air tonightβ¦you feel it too, yes? β
β when tears well up, let them spill forth; theyβre not so precious that they need to be contained. β
β i have outsmarted youβ¦and i shall overpower you as well. β
β my pain i can handle fine, who cares? yours, i donβt think i could live with. β
β you really do care about me, huh. for the longest time i just wouldnβt let myself believe it. β
β tell me you killed the bastard? drove your staff into his wretched skull, slid a dagger in his gut? β
β youβve a defiant streak in you. one youβd be wise to hold in check. β
β you gods never forgive; why then should i? β
β you cannot break me; that i know. β
β if suffering brings about a better tomorrow, so be it. β
β loyalty is either earned or bought, and it makes little difference either way. β
β we are most powerful when we remain obscure; when we are underestimated. β
β as you begin your next attempt at the seemingly impossible, know that i shall be with you to the bitter end. β
β good thing i can drown my sorrows here, and guess what? so can you! β
β if my safety is now your concernβ¦you can begin by showing yourself out. with all due respect. β
β if you undermine my authority, you shall suffer the consequences. simple. β
β letβs not talk about the past, all right? i much prefer the present. β
β even in a place of sorrow such as this, thereβs beautyβ¦gentleness. β
β power always contains the secrets of its own undoing. β
β for you? i shall not hesitate to pierce the heavens and the earth alike. β
β i feel sorry for you. really do. we always want what we can never have. β
β that was one of the worst sentences i think iβve ever heard. β
β gods do not go quietly, and history repeats. β
β you got into my head. i want you out. β
β sounds like youβve had quite an eventful night. β
β i donβt know, this sounds a little treasonous. β
β we get to know each other, youβll live to regret it. happens all the time. β
β what are you fighting for? what do you hope to prove? β
β my pain i can handle fine, who cares? yours, i donβt think i could live with. β
β if there is some bad blood between us, i would like to know the cause. β
β in this world, you canβt rely on anybody but yourself. β
β spilled half my blood back thereβ¦ β
β quickly now, tell me but this: have you beenβ¦are you well? β
β why do the gods do anything at all? simply because they can. β
β spare not a single wretch that dares to stand against you. β
β look at you, itβs like, justβ¦wow. donβt even have the words. β
β love and hate! the most powerful emotions, and the underlying causes of war. β
β i am no stranger to the punishment of gods. β
β you know who i am, and you know why iβm here. β
β get up. you get off that stolen throne. β
β must we always have to take a blasted side in everything? β
β stand tall and show no weakness. β
β the bigger they areβ¦the harder they fall. β
β come on, we all have fantasies. β
β if i canβt see into the shadows, iβll cut through. β
β come to think of it, iβve never seen you angry. β
β things were quite recently much worse, and weβve weathered worse storms. β
β itβs commonplace to fear what we donβt understand. β
β truths are only truths if theyβre believed. β
β oh, i donβt get offendedβ¦i get even. β
β the more we wander, the wiser we get, hey? β
β if you insist on siding against me, then i insist on making you regret it. β
β appreciate the silence. we will have company any moment now. β
β for all the dread and despair everywhere i turn, youβve come to be a welcome sight. β
β i love you, too, of course, with all my heart and soul. far more than i could ever love myself. β
β you goddesses, you wield your beauty like a blade. β
β i may kind of like you, but that wonβt stop me from doing what needs to be done. β
β now, go on, grab yourself a cup and mingle with the crowd. β
β you have inherited your fatherβs strength. β
β all right, all right, iβm going. bye. β
β there is no fury like that of a parent bereft of their child. β
β one outcome awaits as you continue down this path. β
β a small ripple can become a big wave. β
β ooh, i love a good threat! β
β you are even more than i imagined. β
β time drags on when things are bad, goes too quick when things are good.. β
β were you justβ¦speaking to your own reflection there? β
β a proper army needs to be driven by glory, if not fear. β
β about ready to give in? you donβt have the fire. β
β was that a trace of jealousy? β
β really? looks like you could use all the aid you can get. β
β you donβt know who youβre dealing with. β
β couldnβt resist giving one of your pep talks, huh. β
β you wish for me to step aside, make me. β
β my name and business are not your concern. β
β save your pity for another soul. β
β pleaseβ¦donβt go telling anyone about this. β
β how could you be so cruel? β
β you, who stalks me as a nightmareβ¦begone! β
β but one small misstep and i shall char you to a crisp. β
β i live in your nightmares. i thrive on them. β
β i got us into this, iβll find a way to get us out, ok? β
β youβre safe now, youβre all right. β
β iβll carve you limb for limb for this. for everything. β
hello ! we are looking for more roleplayers β as 12 spots are open right now. if you are curious about our server , read here for all the information you need , and feel free to join us ! we can't wait to see you around !
wanted muses / fandomsοΉ other sees members ( persona 3 ) , chrysos heirs & high cloud quintet members ( honkai star rail ) , reverse 1999 , somnium files , paranormasight , & fragaria memories.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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β iβd have preferred to stay with you a while longer. β oh. ohtasei.
well-versed in macabre: ohta is in the glass case affixed to the wall, limbs spread out, pinned. this is not metaphor. maruki takes the role of lepidopterist seriously, displaying his collection in meticulous rows and thin needles: dead things categorized, studied, and displayed. the intent doesn't matter, instead the preservation opposing natural decay.
it's hypocritical calling for things to be let go of in their due time. hypocrisy is easier than complacency, is easier than dormancy, is easier than existency. whatever goro akechi would think in this circumstance, he should too. he's built off the perception of a shared persona, after all.
but ohta? ohta wants to comfort his brother. ohta wishes he could have stayed a bit longer. ohta doesn't know what to do with more time than he planned on having. ohta doesn't really deserve to live.
. . .
but all of this is later. right now, he's in the bowels of a ship, a bullet wound in his chest, propped up in @yishuns' arms.
neither of them are good at this part β grieving. "i would have preferred a smarter brother." gurgled, choked between blood and relief. sei's alive. that's all he wanted by the end of this, and there's no guilt despite the mark it'll leave behind. "less reckless, more considerate of my plans," not diving into danger where ohta knows his marker is, signaling a grave, "not so young and clingy."
i love you, sits in every word. roosting a home, claiming each jab as something cherished and prematurely missed all those nights he came home late, bloodied, and stared down at sei's sleeping face. ohta's family has always been and will always be only sei.
"not so prone to hurt." that's apologetic. it's a sin he'll bear if it means sei lives to feel the ache of it. "my insufferable little brother." ; β.
β ONCE UPON A TIME , in a land far away , there prowled the ravenous beasts that rend flesh & marrow . . . yet lo ! above the tower , the shining stars did blaze β the crowns of dreams , who smote the hunger of the night . . . o , those dear souls , for how long must they endure ? for even princes & princesses still must be rescued. β
ππππππππππ is an 18+ multifandom discord roleplay where your muse is sent to a magical academy in the sky ! they are free to go to classes , socialize , & deal with monstrous threats β all until the staff are able to use the world's mystical energy of BLOOM to send all the muses home . . . but what if something lies beyond the monsters , hungry for more ? themes inspired by magical girls , kawaiicore , fairytales , & rpgs. violence , death , body horror , & slight gore will be present.
β do not get lost in the past. you must keep moving ever onward. β astraeve:D
her names bullet a list, each discarded into the next like graves beside graves β a deathbed of identity. the past is not held onto so much as leveraged, a trail burned, a ledger cleaned. that's before evelyn chevalier. now she holds tightly, carving a silhouette befitting the mold and praying it sticks.
release the past, move towards the future; no one says what to do when you cling to the present.
@yishuns knows her in ways evelyn doesn't know herself. "i'm aware, astra," fond, softened in the quiet of the limo's backseat, "but there are moments when the past should come forward, too." ; β.
β where were you? you disappeared on me so suddenly. i was worried sick. β akira to yusuke HIII hi
it's typical, yusuke with a sketchbook in hand, drawing expressions and movement and crowds shifting through the subway. his head bent back, back curved to the wall, like something smaller than himself - insignificant enough that inspiration cannot be tempted; the same can't be said for the evening rush, its many heads double taking at the surrealism of artist and what calls him.
he should say i'm sorry or thank you for noticing my absence in the face of so much world to gaze at or i'm lost in this place that will not find me.
instead, he twists himself in a manner that irks the spine and says, "turn your head a bit, @aicidos. this lighting is excellent." casting shadows, it's like superimposing a mask. ; β.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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β i donβt know who you are, but iβm sorry you have to see me like this. β heyyyy. aventurine @ argenti
this room brightens stingingly, sterile and cushioned in ways only wealth allows. no expense withheld for a stoneheart. [ tents dot memory, half torn from rods and soiled in mud, and the brief flashes of white in their gaps. ] a hat, feathered and dampened in dark sea, sits on argenti's lap. he caresses the fabric, lamenting how the colors bled out into greys; entropy seldom washes out, but this article led him with what hopes left in something so beloved.
still beautiful, then, still worth saving.
"no need for that. you're doing well." eyes flick up, roving the blonde tucked beneath thin sheets. haggard is a kind word for this, the pallor and dark-rimmed dips beneath eyes β something numbed thawed out. "focus on recovering, then we'll bother with introductions." it's pointless now when the want to peer at nothing still crawls where the light can't pierce.
then, argenti stands and places the hat on @yishuns chest. it belongs, yet doesn't, like an image cropped, filtered, and posted in. the sullenness of discarded extensions of oneself. "and i feel elated to gaze at you even now." ; β.
