Em

in order to unlearn racism u have to be willing to accept that u are racist. it’s not a bad thing to want to change for the better. it’s not a bad thing to say hey, the way i’ve been acting is racist and i don’t want to be racist anymore. when people of color are telling u ways in which u have been racist, it’s actually not cool to brush it off and say, well i didn’t mean it that way.. u actually have to make an effort to stop doing those things if u want to be able to actually say ur anti-racist. u can’t just say ur not racist because u don’t wanna be seen as racist. that’s not how unlearning racism works.

“um i’m actually a good person so calling me racist couldn’t possibly be true. ur just attacking me!” see how the racism is literally right there? see how ur just seconds away from calling me an angry black girl?

I literally reblogged this a day ago and OP was still up. This shit is entirely unacceptable fucking hell.

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

The original meaning of the male loneliness epidemic when it was first talked about maybe 10+ years ago was the former. It has mutated since in the same way that academic concepts like ‘the male gaze’ and ‘death of the author’ have mutated online, until it's become something in support of the structures of toxic masculinity, instead of a critique, as it was originally intended.

IMO a significant amount of the blame here is on the 'others assume'. When we ignore what people really mean and take the worst version of words as the default because we're in constant hostility mode, when we treat everything as a dogwhistle even when it's clearly not, when we abandon any word that has been touched by the far-right, we cede ground voluntarily. And we shouldn't cede ground about words that matter. I don't care if we abandon a few memes and let the incels/fash have the memes, but don't cede ground on words that matter.

realizing cis women also struggle with “passing” a lot of times and has a lot of the same issues with dysphoria trans women have (issues with putting on/losing weight, dissatisfied with bust size, not feeling “feminine” enough, etc.) has done a lot to combat dysphoria for me, cause it’s like, wow, we really have a lot more in common than we have in difference huh

terfs are starting to find this post, and i gotta say: terfs getting mad at a post that explicitly acknowledges cis women’s struggles and with notes full of cis women agreeing and talking about their own struggles and experiences really speaks volumes about how anti-feminist, and frankly misogynistic, terfs really are, that they don’t even give a shit about cis women’s struggles and experiences

this is also why gatekeepting transition care behind a diagnosis of “dysphoria” is bollocks; cis women feel those feelings too, and are often permitted the same medical interventions that are gatekept or forbidden for us

“This collapse is a telltale sign of a problem known as publication bias. Small, early studies which found a significant sex difference were likelier to get published than research finding no male-female brain difference.”

Obama and Biden could've really dismantled ICE in any of the 12 years they were presidents and they didn't, so they set the stage for all of this to literally happen.

anyways, i want my allies to listen to me & people like me, but the more important part that a lot of people forget is that they also gotta synthesize the things they hear from whatever group they're listening to into actual opinions in their own head instead of just relying on oppressed people to represent themselves. you need to listen to transfems but then u have to actually decide which of us are correct

i don’t think people understand how much of life is grief. not just people dying, but losing the version of yourself you thought you’d become. grieving the city you had to leave. the friends you lost not in argument, but in silence. the summer that will never come back. the feeling that maybe you peaked at 12 when you were reading books under the covers and believing in forever