IM ESPIRICALESPER AND IM FINE @espiricalesper - Tumblr Blog

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spookberry

lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls

schnuffel-danny

OK bisexual (czech)

spookberry

Hell yeah 🤙

the-ghost-king

Biczechual

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lokaror

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

lokaror

Cops are here.

lokaror

Casting lightning magic alone in the parking lot

toastyglow-rb

⚡️🥓⚡️

shortwaveradioenthusiast

kingedwardsapphires

Me stepping out of the optometry office after slamming four lokos with the doctor and immediately meeting the love of my life (but I have social anxiety)

foralittlewile

According to Andy Weir's Eridian biology document, Eridians are better multitaskers than humans will ever be, but the trade off is they're physically incapable of locking in. SO funny to me. Yes this species can build a diorama while simultaneously blitzing through mathematics equations and also partaking in intense gossiping, but they cannot do any of those things for longer than, like, half an hour without going crazy. Species of supercomputers cursed with the TikTok attention span.

Rocky mocks Grace when he says that Rocky is distracting him by starting complex conversations while he's Trying To Do Science. "Human brain have to stop activity just because talking question? Useless! One track mind!"

Then Grace is on hour six of his "trying to recreate skittles" hyperfocus and Rocky is like What The Fuck. Statement.

Yeah human brains can only do a single very consuming task at a time but it can do it for a very long time. The one track in our one track minds spans multiple countries. Persistence predators, babey.

arlo-maintenanceman

the audhd animal….

detectivehole

what's that one thing where they asked how ripely from alien was so realistic and believable as a female character in scifi for once and they were like "well we just took the dude from the original script and made him a girl and changed nothing else. it works bc men and women are the same?" and people were like "woah no way" and then didn't learn anything from that for 20 years

detectivehole

"how do you write such believable men as a woman?" "how do you write such believable women a man?" and the answer people who are good at it always give is "i just write people. were literally the exactly the same. do you think the opposite sex is some sorta totally different animal???" and people respond "woah that's wild. yea i do. and im not gonna stop thinking that goodbye :)"

anarchistmemedistro

self-loving-vampire

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odos-bucket

Murdoch Mysteries episode where James Pendrick asks Dr. Ogden to use hypnotism to cure him of his attraction to women

ianmalcolmptsd

Confirming Pendrick as heterosexual by making him wish he was bi is insane. This should be the only way shows do it from now on.

jagi11

I randomly remembered a funny situation I had once

rotting-in-red

Rb game

Explain your favourite piece of media in the SHORTEST way possible

Eg: danganrompa

Highschool Killing game which homosexuals and (mostly) horrible representation

columbinesinstarlight

Sentient cookies witnessing horrors

@seminamed @03121995 @krystlandotherstuff @inexactgolem63 @laylacl9ck @yuuyakenonaka @ebitheaxolotl @kadekannibal

ebitheaxolotl

anti-cop rhythm game

@the-worm-from-the-string @ozzy-from-the-cafeteria @d1n0s4urzz + anyone else at all!

d1n0s4urzz

thx for tag!

elf man kills many creatures and machines because his friend cannot keep herself out of trouble

@rocky-save-grace @reggiehyperfixates @1moldshouldbedoinghomeworknow @freaky-always + open

mangoesssssssssssssssssssssssss

Nuclear bombs and Nuka colas.

@rylandgraceisace

@12storyhouseowner

@hufflepuffweeb26

12storyhouseowner

when you do too well at work so your boss lowkey says you have to die

@strangerthingshappen @thefatdogwarrior @punkr0ck-wh0re +open

strangerthingshappen

depressed kiddo and his gang do drugs and have sex

@who-me-never14 @ezziethelezzie @abbiestacobellcrunchwrapsupreme @acid-miwi +open

who-me-never14

guy gets as many hr violations as he possibly can

@sammiiiithedummest @the-birat612 @howveryjellyfish &open tags :D

sammiiiithedummest

The pettiest generational beef known to man

And if we're gonna be specific:

Brokeback mountain for straight men

@heyimcelery @the-birat612 @carrotcake-systems @frogsdobegay + anyone else !!

heyimcelery

Underpaid night guard takes worlds most dangerous babysitting job

Tags @bylerbean @mj-rulesdaw0rld @chocolateandfictionaddiction @bylerbiscuit @pendragonstarz @the-ice-queen-623 @theblueshark @puppydogmike @queenofthearchipelago @funkopop547 @sourcarmellia and of course feel free to join or ignore anyways

pendragonstarz

closeted prefect and depressed traumatized boy that's investigating a death meet in an all boys school and fight the authorities with the power of gay

Tagging @awfulbells @ab0utellie @buckleybeat @sunchildsatoru @0ceansoftime @halflitpages @crunchie-morris + open tags!!

halflitpages

group of teenagers try to break their family’s “impeccable” long-standing public image by committing arson *gone wrong*

🏷️: @sweetcreatureeternal @flickergatechild @r5kittykat @oil4sale @90shorrorpaperback @mikeandwillsweddingofficiant @willbyersismybioson @your-ivy-grows13 @abithetheatrekid @dessasink + and anyone else!!

dessasink

lesbian cannibals eat each other in more ways than one

@looneyloon @girlkisser-md @crazysillyseal @clleradin @janiecakes13 @chloebjark @byleriskillingme @iluvstrawberriessomuch @antlerlein @snackiejackietaylor @flickergatedaughter

janiecakes13

girl accidentally starts rebellion after she volunteering for her sister and wearing a pin

@notada32 @egodescrisp @esarity11 @ziggyzoomer @n0turp3ach @cybrbat @shartweasel

shartweasel

girl discovers the truth after being born without a mother, 1000 years after the world ended

@sublimin4lvrses @nabil-babbles @icebluemoonlark2 @kweerdragon @candyroxxstarrs @thewormfromlabyrinth

candyroxxstarrs

teen swallows something he shouldn’t and now has to deal with the consequences of his teacher’s ex situationship and his alter ego 🙂‍↕️

npt @tumbleintomyheart @jooploops @thequeerlerfamily @elliotsaqueenfan @souperache

souperache

local man wants to fit into a clique soooo bad he ends up becoming an accomplice to murder

tagging: @the-one-and-only-piper-offical @dramatic1nlyf @arikakari @eleventhirtythoughts @sparklesporkle @ravenwordsx @theverycoolfish

ravenwordsx

traumatized gay people play a made up sport

npt @dramatic1nlyf @drowningbyloverslane @mik0is0bored @fictionalsimp09 @equippedtolove @keyboardsmas-hujvjllnhz @basil-isk-burgers @yourlocalchronicdaydreamer @kiraandhervibes @tsukiyostarr <3

mik0is0bored

tyyy for tagging me <3 I got two

1.) boy eats finger and watches people he cares about suffer/die

2.) girl with bow fights against oppressive government

@mochiakun @flowernoor @kovu-kraze @foundheaven013 @doesithurt-sage @electrically-induced-coma09 + anyone else

foundheaven013

a teenager and his friends break into a high security government facility and try to rekidnap the guy who invented meth

(six of crows)

@redwinesupanover @not-really-a-conjunction @claws-in-my-back @wolfstarwitch70 @runasulienadanika @imnotafraidtodisappear @wallyblack1925-offical

imnotafraidtodisappear

group of people who should be dead keep getting attacked by the same guy but with different personalities every season and the main character has an unhealthy obsession with vehicles

(agents of shield)

@waytoomarvelobsessed @sarkastic1515 @sufferingfromsimp @qu4k33 (guys did i do a good job at aos i was struggling) @i-love-my-gays @queer-enby-cat01123 @yourlocalchronicdaydreamer

waytoomarvelobsessed

something tragic and just chaotic and unrealistic happens every episode and somehow the main character has cheated death for the whole 22 seasons despite being in explosions, drowning, plane crash etc and only about 3 of the main cast remain - the rest have left or been killed off

@equippedtolove @geraniumnecromancer @i-love-my-gays @qu4k33 @redwinesupanover @sarkastic1515 @wisegirl42 @wallyblack1925-offical @your-fav-idiot-lesbian @yourlocalchronicdaydreamer - sorry if you’re already tagged, i never remember peoples users and just honestly tag whoever i recognise 😭

your-fav-idiot-lesbian

traumatized workaholic family solves crimes together (criminal minds)

@allmywordsandworlds @thegenrefluid2 @merrychristmas-pleasedontcall @liamblack11 @lavendertortoise12 @imnotafraidtodisappear @juno-the-great @veethevoyd

allmywordsandworlds

Skeleton takes twelve year old on deadly adventure, twelve year old later becomes god and kills world (skulduggery pleasant lol)

@b4rty-r0s13r-w1ll-fck-y0ur-m0m @coffeestainedstars @cornishpadfoot @corpseflowerisregulus @ferris-is-fearful @gliterloverrr666 @istillwishforyouateleveneleven @long-form-contentment @lxstapp3n @not-a-gay-fangodess @sparkle-robin-4 @sspadfoot @toomuchtodooml @urfavsherlockholmeskinnie @wolfstarstarr @wolfstarjunkie

not-a-gay-fangodess

i was gonna do six of crows but that’s already been done so uhhhh

woman dies while buying margarita mix and ends up saving the world

@friendshapedbeing @disclaimeriamaloser @redwinesupanover @whatonearthisgoingon + anyone

friendshapedbeing

group of mentally ill traumatized losers get thrown in a town where two of them are actually ancient beings. blah blah blah homoerotism blah blah blah blood drinking blah blah blah yuri wins and yaoi loses

@spid-the-spider, @weirdo-with-a-potato, @temerity14, @cityofangeisislying, @libby-bunny-offical, @raynilikescats

weirdo-with-a-potato

gay people in space doing every crimes except the sex ones

Open tags

espiricalesper

jeff bezos crashes the olympics to announce he's summoning satan into local football fields to solve an energy crisis that will occur in 1000 years. the person to stop him is the 10-year old currently winning said olympics

tags: @idiot-in-the-walls @makothedorito @1lluminae-files @affocream-nation-lives @sweetest-starlight

#esper's tag games

epistleii

how it feels to tell a close confidant that you hate a really popular character and for them to bless you with agreement

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deaddogbrain

imo the way you feel about groups it's fully socially acceptable to hate (like children or polyamorous people, among others) is the canary in the coal mine for underlying bigoted beliefs. if you're only supportive of marginalized groups when it's cool to do so, probably you don't actually care about marginalized groups, you care about other people thinking you care

deaddogbrain

there are 1 trillion people in the notes of this post saying "yeah! i mean i hate kids but they should have rights!" you hate kids? you mean you hate all members of an oppressed group solely for their membership in this group? right. why do you hate them? because they can't take care of themselves and need help? because they don't understand social norms and can be "annoying" and disrespect boundaries as a result? because they can be messy? because they don't understand things in the same way as you do? that's awesome. how do you feel about disabled people btw

decompose1

ohhhh shit. target is recalling their up & up baby wipes (fragrance free & fresh cucumber scented) because they're contaminated with Burkholderia cepacia complex and Burkholderia gladioli, multiple people are reporting discoloration & infections. i just got a call about it cuz i had purchased those but i've already gone through them 😅 so no refund for me. but im fine. if you have these they're saying you need to immediately stop using them and bring them back to target for a full refund. this bacteria can cause life threatening infections in children/infants and people with compromises immune systems (ESPECIALLY cystic fibrosis!!) and i know lots of other chronically ill people follow me!!!!

decompose1

Hold on i should've been more specific.

First: THIS RECALL IS NOT STATE SPECIFIC. IT IS NATIONWIDE.

here are the specific products and dates:

FDA page on this:

Target is voluntarily recalling Up & Up Fragrance Free and Up & Up Fresh Cucumber Scented Baby Wipes following customer complaints of produc

depsidase

megacarapa

ok so this is another long shot but a few years ago there was a twitter post (in japanese i think?) that had measurememts for how to make this book stand thing out of cardboard that you could use to double up books and use up more space on shelves

back then i made a bunch of these but by now i lost the pic and dont know how to find the original post anymore

if it comes down to it i can just take one apart and get the measurements from there but i would be very grateful if anyone happens to have the original post or something similar??

megacarapa

don't mind how long it's been since i made this post, anyway i realized that i don't even need to take one apart to get the measurements when i can literally just unfold it and refold it /FACEPALM

so anyway here is the diagram for anyone else who is interested!!

this requires pretty big carboard pieces, if you have a really big box or something you can make it from one piece, but if you don't, you can also just make each of the pieces individually and then tape them together

and then in the end you put it together like this!!

and then when you make a bunch you can put them all next to each other and stack your books like crazy

EVERYONE START GETTING MORE USE OUT OF YOUR SPACE NOW!!!!

#IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT

cozyvu

via cozyvu

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dramatic-dolphin

one time my sister and i were walking up the stairs and heard a bunch of banging noises coming from an apartment, and she turned to me and said "aborted neighbor". and i was just like. i'm glad we're the same kind of terminally online and i know exactly what you are referencing because otherwise this would sound insane.

dramatic-dolphin

this is what the refrance

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

alettertofutureme

History is not done with us yet my friend

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

emisexhausted

I think we’ve had enough for a century at least

1lluminae-files

Before the cheeto bites the dust?

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