omg it has a sweater I-
The widdle wegs

izzy's playlists!

shark vs the universe
Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Janaina Medeiros
we're not kids anymore.

â
Sweet Seals For You, Always
noise dept.

#extradirty

Kiana Khansmith
macklin celebrini has autism

Love Begins
styofa doing anything

â
Today's Document
Cosimo Galluzzi
trying on a metaphor
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@erwolfee
omg it has a sweater I-
The widdle wegs

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Snowing at sea
Why do I never think about the possibility of snow on the ocean??? Now I see why, because itâs too ethereal
jack: letâs get this bread!
finch: letâs obtain the baguette!
romeo: letâs acquire that ciabatta!
albert: letâs gain that grain!
race: letâs yeet the wheat!
Everyone goes on about how algorithmically-targeted ads are so creepily precise that they know everything about you, but I still canât convince my Google ads that Iâm not pregnant, I donât own a horse, and my purchase of a home thermostat was a one-time thing and not the start of a comprehensive thermostat collection.
my brain in times of crisis:

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things high schoolers say/do
*whispers* good olâ canniblism.
wHAt Do YOu MeAN we arENât buRiNG ViRGins!!! That was the only reason I was going to come over.
I have a very strong yearning to go throw myself into a whirlpool while skinny dipping.
You know what I want? I want to be taxidermyed and then put on the front of the ship like where itâs all carved in and it looks like a mermaid, except itâs just a dead body, AND Iâll get to sail the ocean so thatâs nice.
No I donât know who that is. Why would you ask me that? I donât know half the people in this school nor do I ever want to get to know them.
Can we watch paint mixing videos before class starts?
Iâm glad Iâm back at school so I can tell all my depressing jokes because my parents were getting really concerned over the summer when I would share them. But it was only because I had nobody else to tell. Pretty sure they think I want to die. Which I meanâŚâŚ Yes I do, but like not that much.
LOOK I got a tiny skateboard!!!
*making weird sexual noises with their mouth towards their friend(s) bc they are doing their mating call*
I ate like a whole bag of pepperoni yesterday and that was the only thing I ate all day
Iâm like 95% fat so Iâll definitely survive the zombie apocalypse where as your skinny assâs will be dead in a week. TAKE THAT VICTORIA SECREST FASHION MODELS YOUR CATWALK ISNâT GONNA SAVE YOU NOW.
*playing with a unicorn squishy during class and building it obstacle courses while giggling quietly*
I just try to be nice to everybody so if one day somebody decides to shoot up our school maybe theyâll spare me.
I wonder what people were thinking back then like âOOoOoo yeah let me just slit a nice little gash in your throat and let you bleed into a pan until you pass out. Letâs hope this will work lmao.â
If the zombie apocalypse ever happens Iâm just killing myself. Like nah fam I donât want to live that way.
If wish we could have a film crew at our school because Iâd be rich.
If I had a dollar for ever time someone annoyed me Iâd be Donald Trump, but the 2.0 version thatâs female and not a fucking asshole.
lin-manuel miranda has some good tweets. but this. this is the best one.
YES LIN ILYâ¤â¤â¤â¤â¤â¤â¤
This shit used to hurt me so much. Now when I go shopping I donât even touch shit unless I know I want it lol cus I know that pain
iâm that person you see folding something and putting it back after iâve looked at it lol
^^^ And if I canât fold it back perfectly theyâre gonna at least see that I tried.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
All.of.this
Worked in retail almost half a decade, and let me tell y'all this is daily, not just Black Friday or summer sales.
Iâve had people look me straight in the eyes while they knock over a perfectly folded stack of shirts off a table so they could put down their Starbucks cup. People leave food, drinks, diapers, used pads and bandages, even one time an actual syringe on tables.
Iâve had people destroy entire displays and complain about how dirty and âwhy donât employees respect their own storeâ while I was directly next to them frantically trying to fix what they, themselves, just messed up.
This shit is so ingrained in me now that I fixed displays while on vacation in Disney World for a full half hour.
And before anyone says anything, no, actually picking up after grown adults that should know better, it actually isnât my job to clean up after you all day. We have customer service, check for product, work the registers, keep the bathrooms clean, deal with angry customers, try to prevent shop lifting, and keep the store running. Recovery (fixing displays) is supposed to be low on our list because people arenât supposed to be selfish shitheads. If you wouldnât destroy your friendâs house, donât destroy retail shops.
Iâve literally had people ask me if I work at several stores before because Iâm cleaning up after myself??? like they are asking me for help and Iâm like âidk I donât work hereâ then they are like âthen why are you cleaning?â
Itâs,,, basic manners,,, to clean after yourself,,, what is wrong with people,,,

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CHRIS HEMSWORTH IS A FREAKING GEM.
âthATâs hAirSPray IN mY eYES!!!â
How in the world can people have such beautiful hair and it not look like it is dying?! I WANT TO KNOW THEIR SECRETS! So gorgeous. :3 And the styles.Â
Hair porn, guys. This is it.Â
SIT YâALLS MOTHERFUDGING ASSES DOWN BECAUSE IâM GETTIN ANGRY.
DYE DOES NOT KILL YOUR HAIR. I DONâT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I CAN TELL PEOPLE THIS. BLEACH. BLEACH KILLS YOUR HAIR.
with that being said, itâs relatively easy to repair your hair. DO YOU KNOW HOW EASY?! WELL IMMA TELL YOU.
BUY ALMOST ANY GODDAMN CONDITIONER. 3 MINUTE DEEP CONDITIONERS WORK BEST BUT STILL. 3 DOLLAR WALMART STUFF WILL DO YOU A WHOLE FRACKING WORLD OF GOOD. YOU SLATHER YOUR HEAD IN THAT SHIT AND LEAVE IT ON FOR A HALF HOUR. TADA MOTHERFUCKER. TA-FUCKING-DA. YOUR HAIR IS GONNA FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WORKS? NOT WASHING YOUR GODDAMN HAIR EVERY DAY LIKE A LUNATIC. THATâS BAD FOR YOUR HAIR. AFTER BLEACHING YOU SHOULD WAIT TO WASH IT FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN STAND. DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THE NATURAL OILS REPAIR HAIR BETTER THAN ANYTHING YOU CAN BUY AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? ITâS FUCKING FREEEEEEEEEEEE.
NOW, THE THIRD WAY TO MAKE YOUR GOD DAMN GLORIOUS HAIR LOOK NICE AFTER BLEACHING IS TO TRIM OFF THE MOTHERFUDGINâ DEAD ENDS. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CLIP DEAD ENDS ANYWAYS.
THE DYE DOESNâT DAMAGE YOUR HAIR. IN FACT, IT CONDITIONS A LITTLE BIT. ESPECIALLY VEGETABLE BASED DYES LIKE MANIC PANIC AND STUFF. BASICALLY ALL THE FUN COLORS. PLEASE STOP TELLING PEOPLE WITH DYED HAIR THAT ITâS GONNA TURN TO SHIT. WE KNOW. WE ALSO KNOW HOW TO AVOID IT BECAUSE WEâRE NOT AS IGNORANT AS YOU WERE AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS POST.Â
NOW YOU MIGHT ALSO BE THINKING âFINE BUT THIS BITCH DONâT KNOW SHITâ
WRONG MOTHERFUCKER. I FINISHED ALL MY APPRENTICE HOURS TO BECOME A HAIRDRESSER BEFORE QUITTING. MY HAIR HAS BEEN EVER COLOR OF THE FUCKING RAINBOW AND THEN SOME. PERSONAL EXPERIENCE MY FRIEND. MY HAIR IS STILL SOFTER THAN A FUCKING KITTEN.
LASTLY, EVEN BLEACH ISNâT THAT BAD IF DONE PROPERLY. ALTHOUGH I DO NOT RECOMMEND IT, YOU CAN BLEACH YOUR HAIR TWICE IN ONE DAY (PROPERLY) AND STILL BE RELATIVELY OKAY. DONâT BE STUPID, PLEASE TALK TO YOUR HAIRDRESSERS BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING ON YOUR OWN. DRAGON OUT.
i may or may not have gotten angry
OMG BLESS YOU
THANK YOU!
I HAD MY HAIR BRIGHT-FUCKING-RED FOR A WHILE, AND I GOT CONSTANT REMARKS ABOUT HOW THE COLOR WILL MAKE MY HAIR SHITTY.Â
STRANGERS NEED TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND EDUCATE THEIR ASSES!
I DONâT EVEN FUCKING USE SHAMPOO - JUST A DOCTORED UP CONDITIONER! LIKE THE BADASS UP THERE SAID, LEAVING CONDITIONER IN YOUR HAIR MAKES IT SO DAMN SOFT ITS RIDICULOUS.Â
SHAMPOO ALSO THROWS THE PH OF YOUR HAIR OFF! YOUR SCALP IS SUPPOSED TO BE MILDLY ACIDIC, AND THOSE DETERGENTS STRIP OFF THE REPAIRING OILS *AND* MAKES IT BASIC!Â
YOU DONâT WANT BASIC-ASS HAIR!Â
SO I TOSS A FEW TABLESPOONS OF LEMON JUICE INTO MY CONDITIONER BOTTLE, SHAKE IT UP, SLATHER SOME ON MY HEAD, WASH THE REST OF MY GORGEOUS BODY WHILE THAT SHIT SOAKS IN, THEN RINSE LIKE A BOSS.Â
WORRIED ABOUT NOT BEING âCLEAN?â FORGET IT! CONDITIONER + LEMON JUICE WORKS JUST AS WELL, LIFTING DIRT AND SWEATY SKIN CELLS OUT OF YOUR GLORIOUS MANE.Â
NO NEED FOR EXPENSIVE SHAMPOOS OR SALON CONDITIONER - THE 3-DOLLAR âSUAVEâ OR WHATEVER GENERIC-ASS CONDITIONER YOU WANT WILL WORK JUST AS WELL! (actually, the cheaper the better - cheap conditioners tend not to have silicones added, which weighs your hair down, and needs strong detergents to strip out, continuing the cycle of expensive products.)
SO YEAH! CANDY COLORED DYE + CHEAP CONDITIONER + LEMON JUICE - SHAMPOO = GLORIOUS, PUPPY-SOFT HAIR AND LESS DANDRUFF FROM AN UNHAPPY SCALP!Â
*I also add two drops of mint and rosemary essential oils to my shampoo, along with the lemon juice. Those oils repel ticks/fleas/lice AND smell magical together*
FUCK YEAAAHHHHHHHH
PRAISE THIS MOTHERFUCKING POST
I NOW DO NOT REGRET ASKING MY MUM TO DYE MY HAIR
I WANNA DYE MY HAIR BLUE AND IM GONNA SHOW MY MUM A (slightly edited) VERSION OF THIS POST
Just going to say that, âmy hair is still softer than a f*cking kittenâ is now my favorite sentence ever.
âattention â Cup loves cantaloupe
itâs come to my attention that cats canât really detect sweetness and melon has some of the same amino acids in meat, so it smells similar, so she thinks melon is meat :â˘)))
My cat loves Doritos, can you explain that
âŚcrunchy
Hawkeye watching the world fall apart the whole of iw (2018)

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Wet baby
Iâll punch the next person that says pitbulls are dangerous
Look at that smile
They are like furry hippos
Hippos are one of the most violent and dangerous animals on earth.
Clint: Iâve lost count of how many times I nearly died lol
Peter: Oh same
Clint: ???? *concerned bird noises*