hi there !! thank u sm for answering my ask about the whereabouts of the scouts hq! i guess it's open to speculation of the location prior to the fall of wall maria ( or as i'd liked to call it "free real estate" lol ).
anyways, i have another question for you if you don't mind! i love your analysis on levi and how emotionally intelligent he is and how he's in-tune with his emotions. i was wondering, do you think levi is the type to outwardly grieve at all? perhaps in privacy of his own quarters? we seem some subtle moments like when og levi squad dies as an example and we never see him fully cry until the finale. aside those small, yet very impactful moments, do you think he shows his grief in a more expressive way? if so, how do you envision it?
personally, i dont depict levi to be the type to showcase anger through his grief ( i guess unless zeke is involved lol ), but i feel like some days would be extremely difficult for him as he carries around the weight of his dead comrades and friends, especially at night when he's alone. i don't think he cries often, most likely due to growing up in the underground and kenny's "parental teachings", but as i said, i believe there are rare days where it's just too much, ya know?
regardless of my opinions, i would like to hear your thoughts and viewpoint on this !! thank you <3
Thank you for the ask, and I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help with your first! But this one hopefully I can give a better answer, haha.
We do have one, clear instant of seeing Levi express his grief outwardly, of course, and that's when Furlan and Isabel died. And Levi very much did express his grief through anger then. I would even say Levi was enraged, which we never really saw from him again. Even when Zeke forced Levi to kill so many of his own comrades, after turning them into titans, Levi's anger afterward was very controlled and measured, though still apparent. Maybe the closest we see to Levi becoming angry before then is the first time he takes Zeke down, in Shinganshina, after he cuts him out of his titan. But nothing really comes close to the outpouring of intense despair we see from him with Furlan and Isabel.
That probably has something to do with the fact that they were his family. I always say Furlan and Isabel were probably the two people who were closest to Levi in his life. The only two people who understood where he'd come from, because they came from there too. And also because they were the first, two people he really lost to the titan threat. He'd only seen one other person eaten by a titan before then. A soldier whom Levi likely had no relationship with at all. We have to remember, when Levi first joined the SC, he, Furlan and Isabel were outcasts. Nobody liked them, and nobody really talked to them or treated them kindly, outside of Erwin and Hange. The others he saw killed by titans, he only saw the aftermath of. But with Furlan and Isabel, he actually saw them directly eaten, right in front of him, and for all his great strength, he was powerless to stop it from happening.
For all the criticisms I often see lobbed at the anime adaptation of "No Regrets", I won't ever forget the raw emotion we hear in Levi's voice when he kills the titan that killed him family. We never hear Levi like that again. So enraged he sounds like he's on the verge of sobs. That was Levi losing the only two people he had in his life. His chosen family. His two first and best friends. That was Levi losing his whole world. His rage at Erwin afterward was also a manifestation of that pain. He was overcome by his grief in that moment.
I think, after that, Levi was able to form other connections, and other bonds. Especially with Hange and Erwin, and of course his own squad. And I think he felt the pain of their loss just as keenly as he did Isabel and Furlan. But by then, in order to keep moving forward himself, in order to keep fighting, Levi needed to learn to control that grief and keep it locked away. To not let it consume him or distract him. It's never been that Levi doesn't feel every loss with deep, genuine emotion, or that he's unaffected, or removed from the feeling of loss. He's always been, I think, more deeply impacted by the loss of life than anyone. He just learned to control that feeling, and more for the sake of others than for himself. He wants to stay strong so that he can do his job of protecting and fighting for others. He doesn't allow himself to wallow in his grief because he thinks it might compromise his duty to others. And that's Levi's selflessness again.
I'm certain there's been many, MANY moments in which Levi felt an overwhelming despair. I just spoke about this, in my post about how Levi more often looks sad to me than stoic. I think, when he's at rest especially, we see Levi's grief manifest on his face and in his body language. When there's nothing for him to channel his grief and despair into, it shows plainly on him. So I wouldn't be surprised if, when he had moments alone, he did give into it, if only a little. Levi doesn't strike me as much of a crier. I have a hard time picturing him really openly sobbing, for example. But he is capable of tears, and he may indeed have shed tears in private moments, when he felt sure it wouldn't negatively impact anyone around him.
There's of course something deeply tragic in that. In Levi feeling the NEED to hide his grief. To not let it show for fear of it somehow affecting others. That he feels his grief is less important than his duty toward protecting others. That he shouldn't be allowed to indulge in it. And we know this is an attitude with Levi only holds for himself. Because he never scolds anyone else for giving in to THEIR grief, and in fact does the opposite, providing them with what comfort and reassurance he can. The first time we meet Levi, he's comforting a dying soldier who's crying, wondering if he'd done his duty, holding his hand and telling him that he's done more than enough. Or with the soldier who lead the titans to them after the disaster with the Female Titan. Instead of scolding that soldier for allowing his grief to endanger the entire unit, Levi gave him Petra's patch, and told him it was his friends, just to comfort him. Or when Eren begins crying when they're all trapped in the cavern underneath Rod Reiss' estate, and while everyone else is yelling at him, telling him to man up, Levi doesn't yell at him at all, despite the peril they're all in. He instead tells Eren he's sorry to have to ask for his help again, and after Eren is able to save them, he's the only one to thank Eren and express his gratitude by telling him that it's thanks to his efforts that they'll be able to retake Wall Maria again. Or when he tells Erwin thank you, after Erwin confesses to his own grief and guilt. Instead of scolding Erwin for showing weakness in the face of catastrophe, he tells Erwin that it's thanks to him that the SC was able to get as far as it had. He tells Erwin he's been a great leader.
Even while Levi denies himself the comfort of his own grief, he never denies it to anyone else. And once again, that's Levi's selflessness manifesting. And it's heartbreaking to realize, because again, I think Levi probably feels things more deeply than anyone. I think he's more hurt by the loss of his comrades than anyone. But he won't allow himself to really process that hurt, or find any solace by giving in to his grief.
