Heyyyyyyyy guyyyysssssssss, sorry for uhhh, disappearing/being highly inactive these past uhhhhhhhhhhh, 2 months maybe? Idk man
I came here to both vent about my family situation and at the same time explain type shit yuh, uhhhh brrr before we get into that i do wanna preface that the Noussphere team (aka my Amazing friends aka uhhhh prizm, vito, @1evilalex evil/rook, @simpforloser qisa the KM simp, @perihelion-of-the-night the uhhh gremlin or however nate likes to describe her(y'know, creator of the awesome phasetale and stuff), and our newest member the head admin of our wiki(that we're eventually gonna publicize) @error84744838 aka sage, i like to call him door tho, it's an inside joke thingy- anyways im getting out of topic me and the fate/ Noussphere team are working hard on the project even while im being radio silent, so dont take the silence as the cancelation of this AU its just me being probably a softie and letting my IRL issues get into the path of updates and stuff, yeaahhhhh prrrr my bad. Anyways yeah explanation time, for me to explain whats been kind of going on and how my family right now is falling apart which might cause me to end up on the street(naaaah im probably just overthinking it) we're gonna need to go back in time, aaaaaaall the way to 2 years ago type shit, oh YEAH uhh warnings yeah, lemme put warnings here soooo you can scroll if any of these subjects makes you feel uncomfortable (as if like anybody is gonna bother reading this long ahh paragraph, i know nobody is probably gonna read this, just typing it as a way to comfort myself and vent and stuff, and also i want at least someone to hear and know off my story if i were to disappear forever suddenly, i dont wanna be forgotten man)
TW:mention of murder, highly sensitive topics(yeah i mean im just stating the obvious), divorce, homelessness, swearing because i low-key need to curse to make myself feel relived, uhhhh and a lot of subjects that fall under these
Anyways yeah now that you saw the warnings i don't wanna hear NONE OF YALL complaining, cough cough, anyways lets begin yeah we need to start from 2 years ago about the event that happened in that time, luckly i just typed all of the stuff in
screenshots and shit here are the
Okaaaaaaaay a lot of stuff yeah, anyways time for me to state part 2 that just happened 2 months ago in February
Okay so basically the part 2 of the situation that happened a while ago is this
Okay so basically the part 2 of the situation that happened a few days ago is this
My sister (23 years old btw) crashed out again on him, claimed that him remarrying is him saying that he doesn't love us anymore and is going to abandon us to get raped or whatever, she claims that her not talking to him for almost 2 years and him not bothering to reconnect with her proves that he loves his new upcoming wife more then us(which is a lie btw, every single day he sends messages to her on WhatsApp), we kept asking her whats wrong with him remarrying and she just kept screaming loudly as if like she's getting raped and kept on saying "because i said so !" And is now fully committed to leaving us and running away after he marries her, completely cutting ties with us
What an absolute horrible excuse of an older sister, me and my other sibling genuinely doesn't care she's doing all this for nothing. Fucking piece of shit dumbass
this discussion started again, and as much as i hate to admit it but it seems like i was the one who started
I was just merely asking for my other sister if i can shove some of my clothes in her wardrobe space because i already tried multiple times and my wardrobe space ran out of storage
(For context me and my 2 other sisters share the same wardrobe, it has 8 spaces in it, i only have one space, the sister that im asking if i can shove some of my clothes in her spaces has 3, and the other ignorant bitch has 4 spaces) Then out of nowhere the bitch sister came and started talking about how dad should buy a new wardrobe instead of living tightly like this, my other sis- okay lets just call the bitch sister A and the other one sister B to avoid confusion
Sister B for some reason started screaming at sister A after she said that, i guess she somehow misheard what she was and thought she was saying she should give me some of her space ? Yeah this long uselsss discussion that started because of me kept on evolving until when dad came back sister A started screaming at him telling him that he should buy a new wardrobe before his new wife comes so she doesn't take away our living expenses, with her and i quote "not like it matters because im living before your wife comes and i already made my mind on it, i just want the best for my siblings" yeah right as if like this drama and our family splitting apart didn't start because of your dumbass, then it eventually came back to our original topic aka the story that happened in part 1 and 2 where the bitch was threatening him to not get married and stuff, eventual she asked him " okay yeah im taking my siblings with me, before that can you answer this, will you continue sending us money and supporting us even after we leave the house ?" Dad surprisingly...said no, he's saying because its impossible for him to support 2 different households, his household that he and his wife Will live and the other that allegedly me and my siblings will go to
(Im just interpreting this as him saying this as to make her not leave, dad loves us all very much and i dont think you or anybody can comprehend the sacrifices that he made for us, he also made it abundantly clear that he's absolutely against the bitch leaving and he wants to have a perfect healthy relationship with her)
She took that personally and started crying blah blah, later she cornered me and was trying to manipulate me, trying to tell me that i have to choose and if i want to go with her or him, i just told her to fuck off and that im not gonna play this game with her
Anyways part 4 time wuh wuh
Okay so like, we were eating iftar and stuff, pretty cool stuff yeah, dad was asking us about something, i think he was asking us if we wanted to go to kaza Blanco (a city in morroco) because of our uncle being reportedly sick, i really didn't hear him well, the bitch caught him off and started saying that im not your daughter so don't group me into this and act like i am your daughter, everything cooled down a bit and minute's later i asked what even happened and what he even said to cause that reaction because i didn't hear him well, then she flipped out on me, started screaming and stuff, and started saying that when you see someone angry you don't go ahead and ask them what happened that's bad manners and blah blah blah, eventually dad from the kitchen came to the living room and started talking, he thought that she was talking about him and stuff, the bitch and my middle sister just started screaming at him and repeatedly told him to go away and to stop trying to create trouble
Like, a quarter of an hour later, dad's mind was still upset about everything that has been happening to him and us because of the bitch, he tried confronting her, telling her that he doesn't deserve this because he just finished cleaning the house for 5 hours straight even tho he had a spinal surgery and his back was in critical condition and he was even using his clothes as rugs to clean because of our house lacking certain equipment, he started going on about how he sends most of his earnings to us while he lives with only the gendarm rations back in his post cities away from us(for context gendarm is a special police task force that is a higher rank then the police, while police handle regional problems the gendarm handle nation level threats that extends between multiple cities to the entire country and dad's ranking is a gendarm chief, dont mistake them for the military)
(For extra context due to him being forced to be positioned in a city far away from us he can only be allowed to visit us a couple of times a year)
He started ranting about how he's the one who elevated the bitch- lets just start calling her sister A and the middle sister sister B yeah sure, elavated sister A to her current position and was the one who taught her french and helped in her academic endeavors
She just. Welp, snapped i suppose you could say, she started screaming and howling and hurling everything, she started crying and saying that she made it here due to her own effort and you're the one who's right now implying that you dont love us anymore because of wanting to get remarried, she went to her room and she closed the door, me and sister B fellowed after
And i kid you not guys, WALLAHI she was screaming and cursing and making dua's for god to take revenge on dad for an hour and 18 minutes straight, i am genuinely not exaggerating i was counting anf looking at my phone constantly, for an hour and 18 minutes straight she kept on talking and talking and screaming and screaming and cursing and cursing without a single stop, she even started vomiting and pseudo spazzing out and was just saying random words like "kokikokikikokokokoko" because of how much stress she was putting herself under and was claiming that she was gonna get cancer because of this stress or whatever, in her delirious crash out she was claiming that when we were little before i was born and when father was still a drunkard (yeah dad was a drunkard, tho hes been clean of it for over 10 years now) anyways yeah she was claiming that in that time period dad almost attempted to kill our asshole mom and was holding a knife to her throat Infront of sister A when she was a kid, and because of that he doesn't have the right to say that he helped nurture her and stuff because of the childhood that he had given her
After this over hour long crash out she finally cooled down and blah blah, 20 mins later dad came and apologized for everything and stuff, he doesn't wanna leave us at all because of how much he loves us so he proposed a solution for his wedding plan so both parties would be satisfied, he said that he'll get married in july and would leave the gendarm next year because of his retirement (for extra context, we're living in an apartment that the gendarm is paying for and stuff, so we dont have to pay rent, the moment dad leaves the gendarm we will loose this apartment and benefits)so he proposed that we'll live in 2 separate houses, him and his wife, and us three, he said that we'll still continue regularly talking to eachother on the phone like family and that he'll continue to visit us
(without his wife of course, because sister A will probably kill her if she were to even land a single glance on her and I'm not joking)
-----------------------------------------------
Aaaaaaaand thats everything yo yo yo, oh man i feeeeeel so much much muchy munching better yo yo, still on the edge of a mental breakdown buuuuuut its fiiiiiiiiiiiiine, its fiiiiiiiiiiiiine, type shitters yeah yuh you yuh yuya, sorry comedy is a coping mechanism cough cough E, uhhhhhhh i just typed this to feel better about myself and NOT to garner attention and be an annoying attention seeker like certain annoying mfs oh my lord, like i swear to god if one of y'all dipshits tries hitting me with "o m g im so sorry this has happened !!!!" Or just try to give me those pitying looks dont try it, I'll genuinely skin you alive and sleep with your mom and then deport three generations of your entire family tree into the slavic border, i already get enough pitying and condescending from my school to where the teachers themselves outright started addressing and naming me by certain name junks that it would accurately describe the condition of an autistic acoustic hispanic victorian era 5 year old with Alzheimer's when im openly being uncomfortable with there bullying, like even strangers are giving me that look whenever even a single decimal escapes my maw(mouth), i genuinely don't want those crappy excuses of "help" just act like you didn't read this and move along i only wrote this because i am certain nobody is gonna bother reading this fuckfest and also because i needed a safe space to vent and stuff, only my lover(outside of my family) can give me such pitying looks and words even if they dont know that it slightly hurts me(i just dont feel like saying it straight because they already have a lot of stuff on there head, the pain isn't that intense when they're the one doing it eitherway, it just feels like a sting or no not even that i just feel a bit cringed out when they do it, unlike strangers let alone school bullies that make me wanna blow my head off whenever they give me the slightest hints of pitying me), like BELIEVE me if i wanted to write a fucking sob story where everybody would infantilize me and start saying "oh mah god are you okayyy ???" I would have removed the humor from this and added "..." To each end of a sentence and made that
pathetic sob story of mine 10 times longer, "aurfhhhhshusha but but but you pinged people at the beginning you hooligan grgttggggrrr!!! Stop trying to-" SON im quiet literally just pinging my team to let you know my team members and also as a token of appreciation from me to showcase how much i care about them, like peri man for example my first teammate ? The first to join ? Oh man, she was the second most ever person to give me motivation to write and continue the Noussphere (besides @miracles-tale obviously), like before i asked peri had asked multiple people already before hand if they wanna join and they refused like i was on my last STRAW alright, i was gonna be like "man i cant do this alone im just gonna cancel my AU", so i dont think you can comprehend the happiness that i felt when they accepted to be apart of my do or die(okay now im just being dramatic), like do you know the culmination of emotions that i felt ? I was like "maybe, just maybe, i can create an au that will leave an ever lasting image on the community, maybe i can be someone as renowned as rahafwabas and hanging around people as amazing as her friends, maybe just maybe, i can create a story and characters that everybody of any race gender identity religious belief and ethnicity can enjoy and feel relatability to and connection with, characters that they can be comfortable in due to them seeing a character possessing there same exact insecurities and going through the same exact dilemmas"
Like peri is also the only person that actually reads my stuff which caused me to yapp off to her about the direction of the story, like she's the only person in the entire world that is informed about it (gonna tell her eventually about the ending of the story) it almost feels like an omniscient reader viewpoint plot where she's kim dokja my sole reader and im hansooyung the author who wrote an entire world for there one and only reader, oh man how emotional yeah !!
Anyways yeah i appreciate Peri and my entire team there existence is the living evidence that is making me belief that i can do this, they're my motivation alongside all of the artists that drew stuff for me for free they're all motivations for me man, like if my team were to abandon me all of the sudden and even cut ties with me i might just find myself splattered on concrete due to them being the only thing that i have left due to how ass my real life is ahahahaha, just Kidding just kidding, my lover wouldn't like that, noooot one bit
Anyways speaking of school and real life, shout-out to @luckycyclemaker for being my vent partner who i usually vent my school life to
And thanks as well to @phrasetale for actually giving me encouraging words that made me climb out of my abyss of self hatred and doubt after the whole "you're a pedophile for being a umamusume shipper and a frans shipper !"(When im literally not a frans shipper and completely dislike frans)
Anyways yeah like i said i didn't write this for attention you chuddy dipshit p-p-p-PEASANTS, i already know that nobody is reading this either way, just scroll away and please dont leave a comment especially one thats filled with obvious pitying, I'll dismember you whole if you do that yo, like maaan this talking about feelings bullshit is too cringy never doing this again lmao, either that or im just gonna vent to my vent buddy or my lover in private
Also sorry for the excessive swearing its a coping mechanism, its also mainly due to me being filled with too much anger due to "destroying a world that shouldn't exist"- FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU WIFIES, FIRST OUR ODDUSY DOU/PARFIES AND NOW ROYAL KNIGHT DAMN YOU YOU AO3 GOONER ADDICT
(im also angry due to the fact that 70% of this paragraph already got deleted 2 times, the first time i was so close to finishing ot and it just glitched out, the second time i literally finished it and posted it but for some reason it glitched and only got posted with 30% of the entire paragraph yeh)
