T shirt that says “I ❤️ getting laid” & then on the back it says “to REST” with a photo of a coffin + the name & phone number for a local cemetery. Please follow for more advertising ideas

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

*usually

shhh. dont speak.. its almost time for tiny pumpkins

honestly it's ok for me to flop and live the way i do. i dont have kids and i dont hurt anyone #mytruth

the problem is giving up genuinely feels so good #imnotdoingthat

Maybe one reason time seems to speed up in adult life is because when your full time job leaves you roughly 5 hours of free time a day plus two days off a week your life turns into a sort of monotony that makes the days blend together and creative pursuits move in slow motion as you can only get to them when other your commitments are done.

When you look back and think damn 2019 wasn’t that long ago where did the time go? Job. Your Job took it.

i love to have a hobby

my hobby is looking at two guys and saying Now whats all this then

many people will tell you that taking testosterone will turn you into a scary horny fat hairy wolfman. what they don’t tell you is that being a scary horny fat hairy wolfman fucking whips ass and you’ll love it

im a deeply unserious person. except when im not. but even then I am

Getting plowed is for the country folk. Here in the city we call it being taken to pound town. And if it's a place with decent public transit, getting railed.

it is just obvious to me that if you opened your eyes for even one second you would realize that Big Sweat invented the idea of going outside in the summer to make you produce more sweat

The editors super mega fucking cooked on the new game changer episode. Definitely the most humor from just cuts and transitions out of any episode so far. Sam all alone is also always so funny