we're all mad here

“You’re a monster. Act like one.“

“It’s meant to be ironic. It’s a joke.“

“That is not a risk, that’s a certainty.“

“I’m a better man with you in my life.“

“Oh, my god. Horny boys are the worst.“

“Go forth and direct your lust elsewhere.“

“This is why I pay someone to fix my car.“

“Your work, distasteful as you find it, saves lives.“

“You dig it. You get off on being a hero, don’t you?”

“I am literally going through hell. Do you even care?“

“This doesn’t change the fact that you still sicken me.“

“Shhh, the lying to save your life section comes later.“

“I texted you last night. Several times. Where were you?“

“You really need to work on the whole ‘good news’ concept.“

“I really should murder somebody, get my tax dollars worth.“

“It’s a simple question. Don’t stall for time. Don’t invent a story.“

“Go away. Don’t come back. I don’t ever want to see you, again.“

“I have to say, I’m disappointed, I thought you’d be better at this.“

“I am overflowing with potential, and I’m tapping every last drop.“

“Try to keep it in your pants next time. Can you do that, champ?“

“Well, I do feel sorry for myself. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

“Not the way I’d choose to go… Whale ingestion, if you’re curious.”

“But we are both doing what needs to be done. We are saving lives.“

“Did they find the guy who did that to your hair, or is he still at large?”

“That is so cute. I literally want to die, just so that I can be buried in it.“

“Personally, I’ve been toying with the idea of, uh, becoming a bad boy.“

“I’m sorry. I just really need a pinot and some salty chocolate right now.“

“If you want a bazooka, I can get you a bazooka in fifteen minutes, at cost.“

“If I had known you’d be stopping by, I would’ve worn my less bloody lab coat.“

“I buy drugs one time, purely for research purposes, and this is what happens.“

“I’m gonna go get myself a coffee and try very hard to forget that you said that.“

“Isn’t that kind of like slapping a bear to better understand being mauled to death?“

“It’s not my fault! All my friends are cold-hearted bitches, and that includes the men.“

“Every decision that I made last year, I made trying to protect you from my new reality.“

“Stop! I’m coming here like and adult, trying to talk to you. How can you be this cold to me?“

“You know, I just… I keep asking you for some space, and every time I turn around, here you are.“

“Life dealt you a lousy hand, so you just folded tent, decided it was easier to be a rotten bastard.“

“Maybe it’s better this way. I’m radioactive. That I repel the people I love. Keep things simple.“

“If you don’t, by some time tomorrow, we can be looking at the beginning of the end of the world.“

“My annoying millennial speak knowledge ended with TMI, so I have no idea what you just said.“

“I threw my drink in her face and I walked out. I mean, I love that woman but she is too much drama.“

“I can’t sugarcoat it. This won’t be easy. But I’m here to make the process… What’s the word? Palatable.“

“I bet ever since you got the news, you’ve been walking around like a zombie, am I right? Yeah. I thought so.“

“Turns out we’re nothing more than chemicals hurtling through space, haphazardly bouncing off each other.“

“I feel amazing. I’m so present, so in my body, but I’m also floating. Like watching the experience be experienced.“

“You spend your life in a comfortable dream state believing in destiny. Then reality snaps you awake like a kick in the teeth.“

“Oh, he came, he saw, he was stabbed several times in quick succession with a sharp cylindrical object. Likely an ice pick.“

“I got a thriving business. I just learned I’ve been pre-approved for a Best Buy card. I’ve gone legit. Put my criminal ways behind me.“

yuri leans back in his seat, lashes lowered over his eyes. “well, well. i almost wish i’d asked what you find beautiful about me.” a smirk tilts the corners of his mouth. “i wonder what you’d have said if i had.”

        ― of course the topic shan’t be permitted a swift death. it was too much to hope yuri’d pass up the opportunity to make felix squirm. thoroughly ensnared by the curve of that smirk and the rising inclination to challenge it, felix lifts his chin. 

❝if it’s compliments you’re fishing for, just say so outright.❞ he does not bother to question yuri’s assurance that there are things felix finds beautiful about him; they both know, by now, that he’s far from immune to that charm. in fact, he suspects it’s become quite impossible for him to look at yuri now and not see something exquisite: possessed of far more allure than felix quite knows what to do with. he’s only ever found the lethal glimmer of a blade beautiful before; he’s only ever known to equate passion to battle. if yuri’s expecting poetic declarations of his magnificence, he’s come to the wrong person. felix intends to see about prompting a blush to those cheeks, anyway. 

❝alright. if you had asked me what i find beautiful about you, i would have told you that you have the prettiest mouth i’ve ever seen in my life. i could hardly call it cute; not with a smirk like that.❞ he leaves unsaid what other things he might’ve thought about yuri’s mouth. ❝i think you’re beautiful when you fight. and for the record, i am not referring to our sparring matches. we both know very well what intent you had for those. i mean when you fight properly. the way you move.❞ light, elegant, vicious. hypnotic. there are times felix is drawn to yuri’s side in battle, not to protect him but to be near him and to join the rhythm he’s set. ❝and if you’re not quite done wanting compliments just yet … i suppose i’d also have told you that you’re beautiful when you sing.❞

and oh, he knows that felix isn’t one to wax lyrical. felix speaks more in actions than he does in words. yuri likes that. he doesn’t have to second guess with felix. there is no hidden meaning to the things that he does, and so if he ever does manage to prise something close to complimentary from felix’s lips he knows it means something. felix doesn’t play any games, and as much as yuri teases him, he likes that he doesn’t ever have to guess at felix’s meaning or intent.

except now felix really is waxing lyrical about him. or at least as close as felix ever gets.

any composure that yuri might have had flees the more felix talks. the more a flush warms his face. he hadn’t expected felix to bite. not like this, not when felix talks about him singing. when had felix even seen that? it wasn’t something he advertised, something he only did when the children asked or were feeling unwell. he is, unusually, thrown. felix has surprised him, done something completely unexpected.

yuri is scrambling to gather himself, to pull himself together in the wake of felix’s sweet compliments. his mind is still reeling a little, trying to catch up, to dispel the blush from his cheeks and lift his jaw where it has dropped. he knows that the longer he takes to reply, the more felix will revel in it, will love being able to unseat him like this.

he has to say something.