I know I've said it a thousand times but I'm so lonely that it hurts. The kind of alone that weights on your chest and makes you wanna cry even though you have no energy to cry anymore so you just lay in bed and wonder how can your life mean so little to everyone and even to yourself?

I don’t have the strength to kill myself, but I don’t have the will to live either. The worst possible scenario.

I'm worthless. I'm unlovable. I'm a burden. I'm a problem. I doubt I'll ever recover. I just don't want to be alive and in pain anymore.

sometimes i can’t help but feel like everything would be better if i was never born

killing myself is not enough, I wish I never existed in the first place

I wish I had the courage to kill myself

kinda wanna cry. kinda wanna just stop breathing.

It's crazy how trauma makes you push people away when all you want is love.

Relatable.

I want someone to notice, but on the other hand, i don’t.

Oh well my suicide thoughts are back

the urge to die and become nothing becomes stronger every day

If I ever loose my battle to depression, know that I fought, know that I tried, know that I did my best to overcome

Having suicidal depression is like having a constant itch you can’t scratch. Even if you don’t plan on actually committing suicide the feeling doesn’t just go away. It’s constantly in the back of your mind. Whenever road blocks happen in your life instead of figuring out how to fix things like a normal person would your brain immediately goes to, “just kill yourself.” When you wake up in the morning the first thought you have is about killing yourself because your dreams are the only time you can escape the pain of living with suicidal depression. You find no worth in your accomplishments. Even when you actually do accomplish something it’s like it has no worth because you don’t find worth in yourself. You constantly compare yourself to your peers and wonder if you would have actually been succseful like them if you didn’t have a mental illness. Even if you do feel happy for a moment that moment ends and you remember that you have no worth, are stupid, haven’t accomplished anything in life and are a waste of space who needs to just end it already. You know you’re unlovable. No one wants to be with someone with suicidal depression because they don’t want to be with someone who will bring them down. You constantly are thinking about killing yourself and knowing that you can’t makes you feel trapped. Dying isn’t a soluation but you don’t want to live another disappointing year where nothing but bad things happen to you and you don’t grow or change at all. Having suicidal depression is watching everyone around you grow and change while you remain the same. And no one can see how much pain you are in.

i deserve everything bad that happens to me