mae

The moment you actually start thinking about suicide again after being okay is so painful

life with bpd is always trying to fill a huge hole in your chest. you spend your life looking for a cure that doesn't really exist

i be in my own head fighting for my life

literally feels like a myth that there are people who don't struggle with basic tasks like getting out of bed or going to the shops or seeing a friend for coffee. how does everything not feel like a painstaking chore for them. how do they have the physical and emotional energy every single day

I have bpd, of course I assume everyone is going to abandon me for no reason.

*experiences symptoms when no one is around to see me* I have got to stop faking for attention

*crying alone in my bed* ugh I have to stop this attention seeking behavior, so manipulative

my ultimate fantasy is having a brain that lets me enjoy being alive

I wish I didn't exist