If I ever loose my battle to depression, know that I fought, know that I tried, know that I did my best to overcome

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If I ever loose my battle to depression, know that I fought, know that I tried, know that I did my best to overcome

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“You look like you’re about to cry.”
No I just wanna k1ll myself.
“I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry.”
— Unknown
the traumatized urge to over explain things so that i'm not misunderstood
"Who hurt you?"
MYSELF BRO. MY BRAIN IS FUCKING MEAN.

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The voices are coming back, and its killing me
I want to explain how exhausted I am. Even in my dreams. How I wake up tired. How I'm being drowned by some kind of black wave.
— Elizabeth Wurtzel
*talks* *immediately regrets it*

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i think the only life that's possible for me likely ends in suicide
January
*dissociates*
October
I was a mirror shattered too early, and now I cut myself on the pieces I try to hold together
the stages of life:
1. birth
2. i want this to end
3. death
Why does my brain have to be so fucking loud
Can’t it just stop for 5 fucking minutes???

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Mary Oliver, from "Porcupine" in Devotions: Selected Poems
I don’t know but I hope - and thus I act.
My thoughts are eating me alive.