ERO

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

if someone gets killed by a grizzly bear or a polar bear it’s like “Damn, that’s unfortunate. Luck of the draw.” but if someone gets killed by a black bear you’re like “What did they do to that bear to make it that angry?”

if you adopt two dogs who are littermates, they will team up on you to undermine your authority. if you adopt two cats that are littermates, they will constantly try to narc on each other to you

person (non-practicing)

(voice of a person spiralling) its embarrassing but i still havent figured out if its ok for me to be alive

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this