"These guys are dicks"

you can unfollow me but you can’t un-read my posts so really i’m the winner here

our paths may have crossed briefly but you still had the misfortune of knowing me

I hate jokes about “I’ll fuck your mom / I’ll fuck your wife.” It’s still funny to me if people are like “I’m gonna be your new stepdad, sport, and you’re GROUNDED” but I really can’t vibe if the entirety of the joke is “haha, you wouldn’t want me to have sex with this loved one of yours but I would,” because like... the loved one gets no agency and it’s really hard to think of how this counts as a threat or a joke if the assumption isn’t that women who have sex with more people are less valuable. 

listening to king falls am after to listening to other podcasts is just like: i go up to the creators and i’m like “can i please have some lgbtq people in the podcast” and they say “no! we aren’t going to listen to valid criticism!” and then i go “ok!” and i listen to some more and i’m like “can i Please have a gay character” and they go “fine but we’ll only give you one, go, fetch!” and i go “ok!” and then i go to get some more canon gay people and they say “no!”, and then they spit in my face and say “you’re a toxic fan, aren’t you?” and i say “nooooo” and they say “say it!!” and i say “im a toxic fan” and then i go to them one more time and i say “can I PLEASE JUST HAVE A HAPPY, NON BURY YOUR GAYS ENDING” and they say “NO! IN FACT, WE’RE UNFOLLOWING EACHOTHER ON TWITTER AND YOU MIGHT NOT EVEN GET ANOTHER SEASON OF KING FALLS AM!” AND I GO “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???” AND RHEY GO “BECAUSE WE’RE KING FALLS AM, AND LIFE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE”

I will tolerate any treatment. Like I listen to DnD podcasts sometimes, and I'll put up with anything. I'll listen to some half-assed actual play-- You know, I don't wanna name an actual podcast so let's just make one up; let's call it "Dungeons and Daddies" So I'll listen to an episode of “Dungeons and Daddies" and I'll push play on the episode and I’ll go, "Can I have some more queer characters, please? Maybe trans Nick, or Oakson?" And they go, "No! We don’t trust ourselves not to do something problematic." And I go, "Okaaay!" And then I wait for two weeks.  And then I listen to another episode and I go, "Can I at least pretend that some of these blank slate characters are LGBTQ, like Erin O’Neill?" And they go "Oh, actually, Erin is very into men and only men. Vince? Dennis? Darryl? All of ‘em, because we hate you. Now take this traumatized pre-teen, there’s your goddamn representation, go fetch!" And I go, "Okaaay!" and I listen to the Grant and Yeet conversation over and over.  And then I listen to some more episodes and I go, "Can I please have Henry and Darryl at least talk about whatever was going on between them in those early episodes with all the kissing and feelings of love?” and they go "NO!"  And I go, "Okaaay!"  And they go, "You’re a toxic fan, aren't you?"  And I go, "Nooo," and they go, "SAY IT!" and I go, “I'm a toxic fan." And then I see a new dndads plot arc is starting, which is an oxymoron, and I go, "Can I please spend some time with Nick Close, because even if you won’t make him trans, I still like him a lot?" and they go "No! In fact, Nick Close doesn’t exist anymore! Here’s a completely new, awful character instead!”  And I go, "Why are you doing this to me?!" And they go, "Because we're Dungeons and Daddies, and life is a fucking nightmare!" But with my girlfriend, she would just be like, "Let's see what literally any other TTRPG creators are up to right now.”  So it's better.

i’m still ready to make the meme if anybody can show me that. it was gonna be a thing about me eating my words. get it?