Average death palette enjoyer

had a dream that I was arguing with someone who insisted that kissing could be platonic but ONLY within a very specific mathematical range of angles and percentages of lip contact. like a level of granularity you'd need a protractor to figure out. this wasn't about personal comfort, it was a universal law. and I was getting really mad and eventually yelled "TONGUE can be platonic!!" and now I understand how ancient philosophers felt when they had revelations of truth revealed to them in a dream

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here

Is it licking boots?

because of sexual desires i will not disclose here.

People can have such specific allergies. I met someone once who’s allergic to raw tomatoes

who thinks 👍 is passive aggressive i read it as an old timey mobster going "on it boss"

Whenever I use thumbs up I'm sticking my hand out from under a pile of rubble, too exhausted to speak, but signalling I'm okay

I want a plugin for Microsoft Teams that shows all the thumbs up as middle fingers.

Apparently correctly spelling Hairy Porber in my posts criticizing it draws TERFs to my posts. I guess they have no hobbies or something and are just looking for people to harass.

I’ve found that there’s a surprising number of people who seem to search out specific words or phrases on tumblr to look for people to harass. Which is just like. Wouldn’t you rather be doing something fun?

I cannot stop laughing at the idea that socialism ignores humanity’s highest spiritual ideal: owning yachts.

“you’re such a ray of sunshine!” thanks! one day i chose to act happy and then i kept choosing it over and over and over and over until the neurological pathways formed like desire paths in the thicket. i dug and clawed my nails into the grooves of my brain and carved out joy. i retouch it every day.

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

i blog to lose followers

No Tbh I blog to be loved

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

high as fuck lowballing never worn baby shoe listings

@calkale

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

not my dumbass misreading this as "dairy", like sure i guess you can take people's milk and milk products and glue them to your own here, sure.

you can milk me if you want :)

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

to an extent i think discussing how anti-trans legisliation will affect non-trans people is good because it highlights that we're not actually that different and our problems will always have overlap. unfortunately like 90% of the time i see this come up it has the tone of "this is an outrage, this law that violently restricts trans rights might make things harder for NORMAL people too!!" and i want to start killing.