Episodic Nostalgia

Batman: The Animated Series, 103 (Sep. 7, 1992) - “Heart of Ice” [Production order #14]

Written by: Paul Dini Directed by: Bruce Timm

This is the episode where…

A subzero-themed-supervillain pursues his coldblooded thirst for revenge, against the dastardly CEO who denied his wife's healthcare. This is a great episode for kids… to learn about tragedy and grief. Enjoy!

The Breakdown

Gotham wouldn’t be Gotham without another zany crime spree centered around a curiously specific motif, which in this instance is… low temperatures. That’s right, some dude using the moniker ‘Mr. Freeze’ (and wearing a full-body-cryogenic-suit) is hitting up GothCorp industries(tm) using a super-ice gun to steal a bunch of tech hardware. Since billionaires are apparently obligated to take any sort of corporate attack as a personal offense, Batman gets immediately involved, but nearly has his ass permanently handed to him.

Hoping to avoid another beat down, the Dark Knight investigates his new adversary, consequently stumbling into some very cinematically edited security footage that neatly summarizes the episode’s central conflict. The footage in question reveals that Mr. Freeze was once a humble (and notably NOT frozen) scientist named Victor “Fries” (Still pronounced ‘freeze’, though), which means that’s our cue for his tragic backstory.

Fries’ research involved placing terminally ill people into cryostasis, so that they could be revived later when a cure was discovered; It just so happened that his wife, Nora, was his primary patient-and-test subject. The questionable ethics of this aside, it seems Nora entered into her cryogenic state with informed consent, presumably because time was running short. Unfortunately, Victor’s Boss (and head of GothCorp) Ferris Boyle became so upset over the expense of keeping Nora alive that he shut down the operation, trashing Nora’s life support functions in the process and effectively murdering her. Since this is Victor’s episode, he obviously survived the incident, but not before getting thrown into some chemicals by Boyle’s goons, consequently leaving him unable to survive outside a subzero environment (because comic books), hence the cryo-suit.

Needless to say, you can see why Victor would be acting out against the GothCorp guys, but to rub salt in the wound, Ferris Boyle is set to receive a humanitarian award at an imminent ceremony. So yeah, like, obviously Freeze is gonna fuck with that, and fuck with it he does. You see, by combining all the tech that he was stealing from GothCorp, Mr. Freeze is able to build himself a tank-sized MEGA-super-ice gun. So yeah, Freeze uses that to seal in Gotham’s elite citizenry inside a ritzy hall, during the humanitarian ceremony in question. Unfortunately, Batman intervenes mere seconds before Boyle can be turned into a human popsicle, and shatters the glass containment dome surrounding Freeze’s head, after smashing a thermos of piping hot chicken soup over it. Victory!

As much as Batman has strived to save Boyle from the well deserved consequences of his own systemic machinations, our hero also has a famously strict stance against overt murder. So, before heading out, the Dark Knight hands over the video evidence of Nora’s death to a reporter, while dispensing a somewhat empty platitude that essentially amounts to “justice good, revenge bad.” Anyhow, presumably Boyle is locked up, and Mr. Freeze is taken to Arkham where he sits alone in a special subzero cell, lamenting his failure to avenge his dead wife, praying in vain that she might somehow forgive him from beyond the grave.

Now, please excuse me while I search for a tissue. I seem to be having an allergic reaction to my feelings.

The Verdict

This is one of the episodes that galvanized my love of the show early on, and a quick look at the imdb rating shows that many would share my sentiments. It’s easy to take for granted as an adult, but there was something deeply cathartic about a “kids cartoon” acknowledging that sometimes there are no happy endings. We can already see a tendency for this show to dabble in shades of grey, that most children’s fare would go out of its way to avoid. Freeze’s motivations aren’t exactly charitable, but I’d be hard-pressed to say that I wouldn’t consider doing the same in his situation, and that ability to empathize with the “villain” was something my seven-year-old psyche found very existentially intriguing.

This episode also boasts more genuinely gorgeous animation. The use of shadows against contrasting light sources holds up quite nicely (Batman has never looked better sitting in front of a computer screen), and once again the visual story telling is thoughtful and deliberate. Even where some of Freeze’s dialogue is a little more ‘flowery’, the animators give the story enough room to properly capture the pathos and grief behind his facial expressions, and it really sells. To this day the image of Freeze hunched over the ballerina effigy of his wife remains one of the show’s most tragically iconic.

Great episode.

4.5 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Bat-thermos: No, Batman doesn’t typically carry chicken soup around with him (although I wouldn't put it past the Adam West version). He’d just come down with a head cold after a fight with Freeze where he got trapped in ice, so Alfred whipped him up some soup. Although, it’s just as well that Batman never got around to having it. Any liquid that’s scalding hot to the point where it explosively shatters glass, cold or otherwise, is almost certainly unsafe for human consumption.

Fun Bat-Facts: Prior to this, Mr. Freeze was one of the many c-list gimmick villains in Batman’s roster, whose motivations were more-or-less traditionally crime focused. Paul Dini effectively reworked Freeze’s entire origin into this far more tragic storyline, which was so well received that it was soon updated for the comics as well.

Deny, Defend, Defrost: Despite all the sci-fi/fantasy elements of this episode, the most unrealistic thing here is the idea that Batman handing over video footage of a CEO denying lifesaving healthcare, would ever lead to a successful criminal conviction. After all, Ferris Boyle did have proprietary control over the technology that was keeping Nora alive, and it’s implied that Victor Fries was operating without authorization to do so. Perhaps there would be a brief “investigation”, but I have no doubt that Boyle would have been promptly acquitted and given a raise, while Victor would be discredited and branded a terrorist. Of course, this is all conjecture. It’s not like there’s a recent, and incredibly public, real-world example from which I’ve formed the basis of my conclusion.

The Ethical-Billionaire Trope: In case it wasn’t already obvious, I tend to subscribe to the idea that excessive hoarding of wealth is a pretty crummy thing to do, but (as far as fictional billionaires go) this version of Bruce Wayne is easier to stomach. He’s regularly shown to take economic action against his corrupt peers, while investing in matters ranging from environmental conservation, to welfare programs; Still, I’m betting his private-military-arsenal comes with some steep overhead expenses that could be better spent elsewhere. And I’m not trying to be disingenuous, I realize this show is just meant for to be fun, and I don’t really take it that seriously, but I can’t entirely absolve the series for partaking in what essentially amounts to diet-pro-rich propaganda. But hey! You can’t expect to enjoy a show like this without indulging in a little bit of Nietzschean Übermensch fantasy, amiright!?

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 110 (Mar 24, 1993) - “The Nagus”

Teleplay by: Ira Steven Behr Story by: David Livingston Directed by: David Livingston

This is the Episode where…

Quark becomes the new Ferengi money-pope after the old one decides to retire; shockingly, there is a catch. Meanwhile, Jake finds himself torn between his relationship with his Father, and his friendship with Nog, but for really heartwarming and wholesome reasons.

The Breakdown

A-Plot: Business is booming at Quark’s bar, so when “The Grand Nagus*” Zek [*The Ferengi Spiritual leader, and also sort-of-CEO] shows up unannounced, Quark assumes the worst. According to Ferengi culture, the Grand Nagus has the power to buy out successful business ventures for cents-on-the-dollar if he sees fit, and Quark has been very profitable as of late. However, after checking out the digs and sampling some “hospitality” (holographic porn), ol’ Zek informs Quark that he simply wants to use the establishment to host an important business meeting with a number of Ferengi top-dogs. The subject in question? A Ferengi expansion of business interests into the Gamma Quadrant, where their reputation (as charlatans and ne’er do wells) doesn’t precede them. Disaster averted, for Quark at least!

Or so it would seem…

Profit mongering aside, Zek informs the Ferengi cohort that his zeal for profit has dwindled in his old age, and so he will be appointing none other than Quark as his successor. Obviously, Quark is as surprised as anyone, but he’s not one to look a profitable gift horse in the mouth, so he runs with it. Naturally this pisses off virtually every prominent Ferengi businessman, with Zek’s own son, Krax, chief amongst them. Shortly thereafter an attempt is made on Quark’s life, which is very nearly successful. Oh, and also, the now-ex-Nagus Zek passes away quite suddenly, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.

Anyways it turns out that Quark’s would be assassins are none other than Krax and… Quark’s brother Rom? Yep! Obviously Krax wants to replace Quark as the Nagus, but it seems Rom is also tired of living in his brother’s shadow, and figures that with Quark gone, he’ll be free to take over the bar. The unlikely duo are almost successful too, by trapping Quark in an airlock, where he finds himself seconds away from being jettisoned into the vacuum of space. Thankfully, Odo has been doing some investigating, and discovers that Zek actually faked his own death, and brings the begrudging Nagus out of hiding just in time to interrupt Krax n’ Rom’s murder attempt.

So why the ruse? Well, the entire ordeal was all part of a convoluted test to see if Krax was ready to fill Zek’s shoes, but unfortunately he failed miserably by not being conniving enough. Zek explains that Regicide is just too direct, and that he meant for Krax to slowly usurp Quark’s authority from the shadows, according to the proper Ferengi customs. At any rate, Zek accepts that he'll just have to continue Nagus-ing for a little while longer, and heads out, but not before giving Quark an attaboy for being an opportunistically good sport about the whole thing. In that same spirit, Quark also gives Rom a pass for having the stones to attempt murder-for-profit.

B-Plot: Commander Sisko starts to worry that Rom’s trouble-making son, Nog, is having a bad influence on his own progeny, Jake, who has been acting more distant than usual. The matter is only exacerbated when Nog is pulled from school, after Zek expresses his contempt for the federation education system. With Nog out of class, Jake starts staying out later than Sisko approves of, until he decides to take matters into his own hands and haul his delinquent son back home. But, when Sisko finally locates the two boys in a loading bay, he finds Jake teaching Nog how to read, so he decides to back off. The Next day Sisko approaches Jake, and lets him know how proud he is to have such a good son.

See? I told you it was wholesome.

The Verdict

Ferengi Episodes can be an acquired taste, but I find myself warming to them a little more each time I revisit DS9. This is a pretty silly episode, and that’s certainly part of the charm, but the primary draw (for me) is that it offers some perspective into Quark’s family dynamic. By this point in the series, Quark has already established himself as a lecherously charming individual, but Rom and Nog have been little more than set dressing until now. Ultimately, both of these characters would go on to enjoy fully realized arcs, even establishing themselves as fan favourites, which is no small feat for a show that boasts the largest cohort of memorable recurring characters in Star Trek history.

Comic relief and zany satire of hyper-capitalistic ideologies notwithstanding, we’re finally given an opportunity to properly empathize with Rom and Nog, without resorting to unrealistically tidy 11th hour solutions. I was especially struck by a scene where Quark unfairly lashes out at Rom, punishing him with unpaid work for something he couldn’t have possibly foreseen; in turn, Rom passes the buck to Nog, because such is the nature of abuse and bullies. In an episode that’s heavily structured around comic relief, these moments feel pointedly simple and quietly tragic, without overindulging in pathos and melodrama.

It's Nog and Jake’s arc that reconciles this episode for me, though. Throughout the entire story, Nog’s wellbeing is casually batted aside, and regarded as less than an afterthought for the adult Ferengi who are too preoccupied with ingratiating themselves to the Nagus (be it Zek or Quark) to care about the harm they’re inflicting. Most Trek-shows would probably end by having Quark and Rom share an epiphany about the error of their ways, with the writers throwing in some self-aggrandizing platitudes about superior federation (aka western) values for good measure. Instead we’re shown a simple act of friendship; Jake helping his friend learn how to read, when no one else would. It’s a very simple character moment that initially seems like nothing more than a nice way to wrap up the episode, and in that context I suppose that’s not far off. However, in retrospect this understated scene is a critical moment for the Ferengi family, with the cycle of abuse being meaningfully challenged for the first time, simply by having someone care about Nog outside of his value as a resource.

Perhaps I’m being overly sentimental, but then what the hell is the point of this blog in the first place? The ‘Nagus’ won’t be ending up on any of my ‘greatest episode lists,’ but as Nog and his family will go on to show us, greatness stems from trivial moments.

3 stars (out of 5)

Parting thoughts

Will the real 24th century men please stand up? While we’re on the subject of Nog and Jake, I have to say one thing I genuinely love about this series is the depiction of male relationships. That’s not to say there aren’t notable missteps influenced from the biases of the times, but the show seldom shies away from depicting caring and emotionally honest intimate between men as a normal and healthy expectation. Jake and Nog both continue to make mistakes as they grow, but they also call each other out and encourage each other to be better. Bashir starts off as an arrogant little prick in the early seasons, but his friendship with O’Brien sees him mature and grow, even as they both embrace childish whimsy with their silly holo-games. And of course, Sisko’s relationship with Jake is caring, supportive, and present, while notably reinforcing a respectful attitude towards women through his behaviour. Sadly, in 2025, the need for depictions of a gentler, kinder, and more considerate breed of masculinity has become more pertinent than ever.

I guess that’s all I’ve got for this one. See you next week!

Batman: The Animated Series, 102 (Sep. 6, 1992) - “On Leather Wings” [Production order #01]

Written by: Mitch Brian Directed by: Kevin Altieri

This is the episode where…

The Police blame Batman for a Man-Bat’s crimes, thanks to their perfectly-on-brand profiling methods, resulting in a lot of avoidable property damage. In other news, the Batmobile looks amazing, and Alfred has perfect comedic timing.

The Breakdown

A rash of chemical plants are being broken into, and after an injured security guard describes the culprit as a “giant Bat-Creature,” the cops peg Batman as their prime suspect. Naturally they begin a mindful and meticulous investigation to ensure they have the right guy- hahah. No. I’m just kidding. They jump squarely into the deep end on this one, pretty much right away (again, all perfectly on-brand). You see, Detective Bullock went behind Commissioner Gordon’s back, and prematurely announced a “war on Batman” to the press, so now Mayor Hill feels pressured to authorize a task force, to save face (honestly, you really have to admire the cynicism on display in this scene).

Naturally the front-page story about Batman’s alleged B&E (plus aggravated assault) quickly catches his attention, especially since he didn’t actually do it (this time), so he zips over to the plant to investigate the crime scene… by breaking and entering for real. Thankfully Batman is canonically a far superior Detective than virtually any paid professional, and he finds two vital pieces of overlooked evidence. A) Tiny animal fibres that are not dissimilar to something a Bat might shed, and B) the injured security guard’s handheld cassette recorder, with a nifty audio clip of the creature’s high-pitched shriek (the guard was preparing a voice audition at the time of the attack).

[There’s also a whole altercation with the cops here, but I’ll talk about that later. Needless to say, Batman totally dominates.]

Anyways, those clues inspire the Dark Knight to visit the Zoo as Bruce Wayne, seeking the expertise of famed-bat-expert Dr. March, along with his collegiate daughter & son-in-law (Francine and Kirk Langstrom). Bruce hands over the evidence he found the previous night (claiming it’s connected to a bat infestation at his mansion) hoping the friendly family of Bat-scientists might be able to tell him something that his super-computer can’t. However, after Dr. March calls back, claiming that the fibres-and- audio were left by common brown bats, Bruce concludes the Doc is full of shit, and therefore must be connected to the creature; so he returns to the Zoo as Batman.

It turns out March isn’t quite the guy Batman is looking for, but he wasn’t too far off, either. You see, Kirk Langstrom was so enamoured by his father-in-law’s theories (which entail turning humans into giant bats, in order to “survive the next evolutionary cataclysm”, apparently) that he decided to take a stab at a genuine man-bat-hybrid-serum. Evidently, the attempt blew up in Langstrom’s face, transforming him into a living “Jekyll & Bat” trope; and the Man-Bat has been stealing more chemicals to make the change permanent, ever since. But the real kick-in-the-pants? Langstrom had just taken the last necessary component to finalize his transformation, mere seconds before Batman arrived (Talk about poor timing).

So, Kirk transforms into the Man-Bat, and things get violent. Eventually, the creature tries to fly away, and Batman gets dragged around for a tour of the Gotham skyline. Ultimately, Batman figures out his opponent’s weakness is crashing into walls at high-speed, by making that happen. After hauling Langstrom back to the cave, Batman whips up a counter-serum to reverse the doctor’s condition with remarkable ease, because Batman is also canonically very good with all-of-science.

Oh, and I almost forgot! Luckily, the Police witnessed the entire Bat-chase, thus exonerating the Dark Knight, and presumably reinstating him as just a generic fugitive from the law, as opposed to one who justifies a task force. Not bad for an honest (if illegal) night’s work.

The Verdict

I’m gonna have to level with you guys, I’ve never really given ‘On Leather Wings’ a fair shake before now. It’s not that I ever disliked it or anything, but it’s perhaps not as flashy or as widely talked about as some of the later episodes, especially as the writing and animation became more consistent. But yeah, Bruce Timm and Co. really popped off with the pilot, and it immediately establishes the series as more than ‘just another cartoon.’ The story itself is easy to overlook; the plotting is admittedly quite simple and largely predictable, but the dialogue and animation more than make up for it.

Unlike a majority of animated shows during the 90’s (Including one of my other childhood favourites, Spider-man), the dialogue in this episode is far more focused on interpersonal dynamics, over exposition. Most of Alfred’s interactions with Batsy/Bruce tends to revolve more around verbal sparring and repartee, through which we glean enough to understand the plot while simultaneously establishing the nature of their relationship. Likewise, the duality of Batman’s double life is shown to us, and not told. It’s likely that anyone watching this already knows who Batman is and what motivates him, but even if you didn’t, this Pilot-episode provides all the information you need to understand it without additional context, and minimal exposition.

The same can be said for the recurring cast. Who is Commissioner Gordon? Detective Bullock? Mayor Hill? Harvey Dent? Within a single one-minute scene, we are made to understand who all these people are, their stance on Batman, and even their opinions of each other, all of which works to establish the obstacles our hero will face. Many cartoons would approach the same scene by having the characters explain things to each other with convenient exposition dumps, but instead the characters predominantly discuss the situation as if it’s already shared knowledge. It’s slightly trickier to write, especially in a way that resonates with children, but the result is dialogue that avoids feeling affected, unnatural, or rushed (something that was not lost on me even back then).

This approach leaves the animation team some room to flex, which is good because the visual storytelling is where ‘On Leather Wings’ really shines. Firstly, Warner Brothers clearly spared no expense on the pilot, which easily boasts one of the most impressive sequences from the first 60-episode-season, if not the entire show. [I’m talking specifically about the sublime tracking shot of the Man-Bat flying along the length of the police blimp with Batman in-tow.] But more than being visually impressive, the animation is never averse to lingering on a prolonged moment if it makes for a stronger story beat.

At the beginning of the episode when, the security guard is recording his audition tape (hey, we all got dreams), the scene plays out for a solid minute before he’s interrupted by the Man-Bat. It’s a beat that would probably be regarded as superfluous in most other cartoons, but it’s a perfect Chekov’s gun moment that pays off when Batman finds the tape recorder beneath a desk later on. It might have been more direct to simply have Batman find one of the Langstrom’s ID badges, or whatever, but this approach shows us how Batman’s analytical capabilities are as much a part of him, as his ability to throw a punch, all without a single line of dialogue. It’s not complex story telling, it’s strong story telling, reinforcing how one can intelligently cater to children instead of pandering to them.

Were I judging this on the story alone, I might not go much above 3 stars, but going solely based on the animation I’d probably give it a 5, to say nothing of the sound design and musical score. All in all, this is an incredibly impressive pilot, so I’m giving it…

4 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Cryptozoology in Gotham City: This isn’t really a critique, but I can’t help but wonder how Batman explained the Man-Bat ordeal to Commissioner Gordon. Bearing in mind, Gordon witnessed Batman punch a giant bat out of the sky, and then drag it off into the shadows, never to be seen again. Surely he must have a few lingering questions about the whereabouts of the flying anthropomorphic beast with a penchant for mutagenic chemicals. Did Batman offer any explanation whatsoever, or is this a “don’t ask don’t tell” situation? How would that conversation even go?

Gordon: Hey, just curious. What exactly did you do with the Giant pants-wearing-Bat? Batman: Oh, that was some guy who just got a little carried away with a science experiment. But I fixed it. Gordon: Uh, okay… so how do we know that’ll never happen again? Batman: *vanishes into the night*

Silly things I find interesting: I have done zero research on this, but I believe this episode may feature one of the earliest on-screen-depictions of Batman being specifically hunted by the police (beyond just being chased from a crime scene). After Batman collects his evidence at the chemical plant, he finds himself cornered-and-hunted by Harvey Bullock’s task force. The ensuing chase shows Batman dodging gunfire, ducking into elevator shafts, employing gas pellets, and escaping a sizable explosion (courtesy of Gotham PD incompetence). The scene is notably reminiscent of Frank Miller’s ‘Year One’ comics, and I’m guessing that’s not a coincidence, since that story was released only a few years prior to this. That same comic would go on to inspire a number of other Batman v Cops sequences, including Christopher Nolan’s ‘Batman Begins,’ and (seemingly) my personal favourite Bat-feature-film ‘The Mask of the Phantasm.’ Today this would all be considered par-for-the-course in a Batman story, but in 1992 it was still a moderately new precedent for Batman to be considered a full-blown fugitive from the law; certainly within a “kids show.”

The sound of bat-music: For all the credit given to Bruce Timm & Paul Dini for the show’s success, one can never overstate the critical importance of the late Shirley Walker’s monumental contribution. Every episode has a fully orchestrated, and almost-entirely original score (with some recurring themes for specific characters and villains), and the impact is undeniable. I don’t believe I’m being in-any-way hyperbolic when I say that the music for this episode would not sound out of place in a feature film. It’s a genuine shame that Walker never became a household name, ala John Williams/Danny Elfman/etc. because she was an incredible talent, who I fully believe could have given those guys a run for their money if given the same opportunities.

Will the real Pilot please stand up? Most fans are up-to-speed on this, but for anyone wondering why I’m referring to episode 102 as ‘the pilot,’ that’s because the episodes were usually produced in a different order than they were released. The first episode to actually air was ‘The Cat and the Claw, Part 1’ in an attempt to capitalize on ‘Batman Returns’ (because Catwoman was in both stories), which had dropped a couple months earlier. Consequently, Part 2 was released a week later as the 8th episode, which I believe was due to a whole wonky thing about differing time-slots that I won’t get into. In an any case, ‘On Leather Wings’ was always intended to be the show’s official pilot.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, 109 (Mar. 14, 1993) - “Move Along Home”

Teleplay by: Frederick Rappaport, Lisa Rich & Jeanne Carrigan-Fauci Written by: Michael Piller Directed by: David Carson

This is the episode where…

Sisko makes first contact with a game-obsessed species, so they make him and his crew hopscotch for their lives, while Quark places bets because it’s his fault. No one thinks this is funny, and it is treated with the utmost seriousness, but also it’s fine for some reason.

The Breakdown

It’s an auspicious day on DS9 as Sisko and his chief staff (Kira, Dax, & Bashir) prepare to make first contact with an official delegation from ‘the Wadi’, a new species from the still-mysterious-and-exciting Gamma Quadrant. Naturally Sisko rolls out the red carpet, but his guests have little interest in diplomatic formality, and ask to be taken directly to Quark’s bar so they can play his games of chance. What could go wrong?

Initially, not as much as you’d think. …Initially.

The Wadi are quite taken with Quark’s Dabo table (essentially, Space roulette), much to Quark’s chagrin, because they keep winning. Since Sisko is also kinda bummed that his new guests seem to have no use for him, he selects Quark for babysitting duty, leaving express instructions to keep the Wadi happy. Unfortunately, Quark is… well, Quark, so he promptly orders his staff to start cheating so he can win his money back. Predictably, the Wadi call bullshit on Quark's scam, and insist that the only way to reconcile their grievance with him is to play “an honest game,” and they’re not talking about monopoly!

…because they’re aliens and that’s a human thing, but they did bring their own board game, called ‘chula’. With the opening of a box, Quark’s Dabo table magically scientifically transforms into another gaming surface [It’s hard to describe so feel free to reference the weird triangle frame, with multiple bridging levels, pictured above]. Basically, the game starts Quark off with four pieces which are placed near the top of the “board,” and then he rolls the space-dice in order to get them safely down to the lowest level, while placing bets. Simple enough, right? If you said yes, then …come on. Really? This is Star Trek, so clearly there’s gonna be a catch.

You see somehow the game has simultaneously transported Sisko, Kira, Dax, and Bashir (who were all asleep in their quarters) into some kind of virtual/alternate plane of existence (it is never explained). It turns out that the pieces on the board are all avatars representing Sisko and the gang, who are made to participate in a series of increasingly difficult (and seemingly dangerous) tasks. Of course all of this is unbeknownst to Quark, who unwittingly chooses the difficulty-and-nature of each new challenge, while placing wagers on their success.

Eventually Odo figures out that something is wrong when Sisko and his team fail to show up for work the following morning. His investigation leads him to Quark, who is finally brought up to speed, but unfortunately it’s too-little-too-late. The Wadi explain that the only way for Quark to get his people back is to safely navigate them to the end of the game. Naturally, this goes poorly, and Bashir is evaporated (he was kind of being annoying though, so honestly no big loss), and the others all fall down a bottomless cave shaft to their doom. Quark loses. The end.

Just kidding.

I mean, Quark does lose, but Sisko and co. are all perfectly fine, and instantly transported back into the bar safe and sound (somehow). Upon Quark’s realization that his friends (using the term loosely here) were never in danger, the Wadi are like “well duh, it’s just a game, man. But also you’re a douche,” and make their exit. Since a major diplomatic scandal has presumably been avoided on the grounds that no one died, the Wadi are free to go; likewise Quark is also off the hook for... reasons, I guess.

The end. For real this time.

The Verdict

There are a not-insubstantial number of fans who would regard this as the worst episode of the series, and I can see why, but I honestly can’t entirely bring myself to hate on it that much either. The main point of contention for most folk seems to be that the Wadi’s game is ultimately revealed to be harmless after 45 minutes of implying the severity of the situation. It’s a fair criticism, and certainly a part of the reason I won’t be giving this one a high rating, but I think the greater sin is that ‘move along home’ is mostly kinda boring.

Some of my favourite Star Trek episodes are also the most ridiculous, and they succeed specifically by leaning into that silliness. As alluded to in the opening paragraph, one of the games Sisko is forced to play does legitimately involve playing a game of hopscotch while reciting a children’s rhyme. Historically speaking, none of that is inherently out-of-place for Star Trek, and a perfect opportunity for some comic relief, but the scene falls flat, and feels kind of cringy, almost as if everyone involved was embarrassed (except Avery Brooks. That guy always commits). The rest of the episode tries to lean more heavily on traditional life-and-death drama, but even that feels stifled by (I’m guessing) budgetary constraints. Likewise, the sequence with the most impressive set piece (the rocky cliff that everyone except Bashir falls over), drags on for way too long, with the aforementioned lack of pay-off.

But it’s not all bad either. We do get a chance to see a little bit of Quark’s humanity (for lack of a better word) shine through when he believes that he’s responsible for the safety of the players. It’s also nice to see the dynamic between Sisko and his officers in an unconventional situation, and there are a handful of other character moments (which I’ll touch on below) that were enjoyable, if not enough to save the episode outright. Ultimately, there’s no denying this is a ‘growing pains’ episode, but there is something to be said for watching the creative process unfold as the show finds it’s legs, even as it stumbles.

Less “Bleh,” and more “Meh.” I’m giving this…

2 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Super-Tech: We need to talk about the Wadi’s technology for a second, because these guys seem pretty stacked, and it’s just sort of brushed over. For starters, they activate the “game board” by opening a small box, that instantly replaces/reconstitutes Quarks Dabo table into an entirely different structure (and then returns it to it’s original state, after they’re done). Then we have Ready-player-Sisko and his team, who are all transported from their bedrooms, and into… somewhere. We know their physical bodies are no longer on the station, and that’s about it. Are they in a holodeck of some kind? Has their consciousness been uploaded into a virtual plane? Are they in some sort of alternate quantum-game-realm? At one point Odo tries to beam over into the Wadi’s ship, hoping to find the missing crew, but he’s thwarted by a bright flash of light that just transports him back into Quark’s bar. However the Wadi do what they do, it’s clear they’re technologically advanced enough to give the Federation a run for it’s money. Bearing in mind, we’re only ever shown how these people apply their technology towards recreational games, but it doesn’t take much to imagine some fairly awesome (and potentially horrifying) alternative applications. At the very least, you’d think they would have made a valuable ally against the Dominion (I mean, who?), but this is the last we’ll hear from the Wadi; Well, at least on this show (they make a brief cameo on ‘Lower Decks’).

Diplomatic Cover-up: I feel like Quark would have faced considerably more severe consequences over scamming the Wadi if this had happened on the Enterprise, but upon further consideration it kind of makes sense that Sisko would let this one slide. After all, the Commander did abandon his guests (who he was responsible for establishing good relations with) just because he was bored; worse yet, he left them alone with Quark! Sure, he’s a lying-capitalist-scumbag, but Sisko knew all that when he blackmailed Quark* into staying on the station! So I figure ol’ Benny decided to keep things quiet, in order to avoid having Quark snitching to Starfleet about how their newly appointed Commander shit the bed on his first major diplomatic assignment. [*it happened in the Pilot, although I failed to mention it in my review]

Parental Guidance may be advised: The closest thing this episode has to a B-Plot, is when Sisko finds out that Jake and Nog spend their downtime together, scoping out the young Bajoran ladies. Sisko has misgivings over this, on the grounds that Nog is both a troublemaker and a Ferengi. Interestingly, I’ve seen a few online threads with people arguing that Sisko is being intolerant towards Nog’s cultural upbringing, but I’m more-or-less with him on this one. Amongst other things, the Ferengi tend to be deeply misogynistic (let’s just say, they got problems, as the show will go on to highlight), so I think it’s reasonable for Sisko to express some concerns about his son taking dating advice from a young man who was raised to believe that women shouldn’t have rights (or clothing). This also nicely plants a seed for Sisko’s own relationship with Nog, as that character becomes further developed.

Security Breach: The previous episode introduced us to Lieutenant Primmin, who was brought in as Starfleet’s Chief security officer (but second to Odo as “head of security” under the Bajoran Provisional Government; gotta love Politics). Primmin shows up again in this episode, when Odo goes up to ops in search of Sisko and Kira. Primmin’s main contribution is when he reluctantly (because regulations) beams Odo into the Wadi ship, and then he’s never heard from again. Like, ever. I’m assuming the original intention was for him to return as a recurring foil for Odo, and was then forgotten/dropped in favour of more pertinent characters and storylines. But according to my headcanon, he was quietly fired (aka “transferred”) due to his critical lack of care and initiative over the disappearance of four chief staff. The dude hardly even sat up in his chair when Odo brought the situation to his attention, which is not a great look. So long Primmin! I’d say you’ll be missed, but I’d largely forgotten you existed in the first place.

Episodic Nostalgia: 2025

Well, here we are! Only time will tell what new-and-exciting atrocities/human rights violations we have to look forward to as the new year unveils itself to us, but in the mean time I’ll be carrying on here with more reviews of my favourite state sanctioned propagand- I mean, tv shows from my childhood. Last year I completed the first seasons of ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation,’ and ‘Spider-man: The Animated Series’ respectively, before deciding to take a break from both shows, just to keep things fresh around here. As for what’s next, I’ll be following a similar format, alternating between two different series (one live action, and one animated), namely:

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: When I first started this blog, my approach was much less structured, casually jumping back and forth between Star Trek series, with DS9 initially being one of the primary focusses. I reviewed eight episodes before committing to TNG and Spider-man, so it makes sense to pick up where I left off. With ten episodes remaining, I figure I might as well complete the first season while I decide what to do next. Besides, I love that show, so it’s not exactly a hard sell for me.

Batman: The Animated Series: While it wasn't the strongest episode, 'Christmas With the Joker' was a lot of fun to review, and I’ve been meaning to revisit this series ever since I got the Blu Ray boxed set a few years ago. Although, unlike Spider-man, I may take a slightly more lax approach in the order I review them. The Beauty of this series is how effectively each entry stands on its own (with the exception of a few two-parters), so I may skip or jump ahead to certain episodes as I see fit.

To follow up on that last paragraph, I’ve also been considering switching between different animated series more frequently. I expect I’ll stick with Batman for the duration of the DS9 reviews, but I could foresee a point where my Saturday morning cartoon selection becomes more sporadic. Additionally, I’m toying with the idea of more-regularly deviating away from strict episode reviews, similar to some of the “reading break” posts I did last year, but I have nothing concrete planned in that arena for the time being. That being said, If anyone ever finds themselves interested in my opinions over anything even loosely connected to the theme of this blog, feel free to reach out, or ask a question. Obviously, I reserve the right to disregard any suggestions/questions I find disrespectful, or irrelevant, but this kind of stuff is always more fun when other people are engaged.

Anyways, the next review drops on Friday where I’ll be picking up with the somewhat-infamous Deep Space Nine episode, “Move Along Home.” See you then!

Merry Christmas, folks!

This will be my last post until Jan. 1, where I'll return with some updates about my immediate plans for the new year. In the mean time, please enjoy this nifty Spider-Santa artwork by Drums of the Serpent.

Lots of thanks to those of you who have been following along.

Batman: The Animated Series, 138 (Nov. 13, 1992) - “Christmas With the Joker” [Production order #02]

Written by: Eddie Gorodetsky Directed by: Kent Butterworth

This is the episode where…

The Dynamic Duo race against the clock to capture the Joker on Christmas eve, so that Batman can finally watch ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ (yes, seriously). Oh yeah, and there are also innocent lives at stake. Then again, two of those are cops so… let’s just say there are lives at stake and leave it at that.

The Breakdown

It’s Christmas Eve at Arkham Asylum, as the inmates work happily together, decorating the communal Christmas tree (aw!). And who should climb the ladder to mount the star? None other than the Joker himself. And if you’ve already guessed that he’s about to employ the time-honoured tradition of converting a tree into a literal-rocket, with which to launch himself through the roof, and toward freedom, then you guessed right! In fact, that’s surprisingly accurate of you.

Meanwhile… Robin has made a shocking discovery, Batman has NEVER seen ‘It’s a Wonderful Life!’ [Evidently, Robin has been under the impression that the brooding vigilante billionaire he works for is a big “Holiday Spirit” kinda guy.] So, since the criminal element seems to be taking the night off (probably catching up on their gift wrapping), Robin convinces his begrudging partner to watch Jimmy Stuart oppose the ruling class. Unfortunately, at the precise moment the Dynamic Couch-Potatoes turn on the television, The Joker successfully hijacks EVERY channel (to be fair that happens a lot in Gotham), to broadcast his very own live Christmas Special!

So here’s the deal: the Joker has kidnapped Commissioner Gordon, Detective Harvey Bullock, and news reporter Summer Gleeson to stand in as his own surrogate Christmas family (since he has none of his own), who he intends to murder on live television unless Batman and Robin successfully complete a list of deadly tasks at inconvenient Locations. The tasks in question involve A) preventing a train full of passengers from hurtling over a blown-up bridge, B) Shutting down an observatory that’s been repurposed as a laser-cannon (obviously), C) defeating an army of giant weaponized robot-nutcraker-soldiers at an abandoned toy factory, and finally… D) preventing the three hostages from falling into a vat of molten liquid (classic). Unsurprisingly, Batman comes out on top, but not before taking a pie to the face, serving a stark reminder that victory always comes at a price.

Anyways, with the Joker subdued, our heroes head back to the mansion to finally watch ‘It’s a wonderful life,’ whereupon they reflect that life IS pretty Wonderful! …Which, as anyone who has seen the film would know, is a remarkably tone-deaf takeaway for a billionaire to arrive upon. Hopefully Alfred can use this as an opportunity to begin a more constructive dialogue.

The Verdict

I loved this episode as a kid, mainly because it featured both Robin and the Joker, and also because I was (as are most children) easily impressed. Sarcasm aside, I’m not going to come down too hard on this episode, but it’s a fairly weak entry of a generally top-tier show. It doesn’t help that the animation is sloppier than usual, especially when you compare it to the Pilot (this one being produced immediately after). To be fair, each episode was produced by different animation houses, and sometimes the preferred ones were booked up. Consequently, the quality in animation could fluctuate a bit, particularly during the first season which pumped out a whopping 60 episodes. Nonetheless, this is some of the gnarlier animation on the show as a whole.

I’m more inclined to forgive sloppy animation when a story is strong enough, but ‘Christmas with the Joker’ comes up short in that department too. Again, it’s a perfectly suitable episode for kids, and about as inoffensive as you can get, but the actual plot is pretty damn thin, and little too silly for my taste. I'm perfectly happy with a more whimsical story when it's done well, there are a decent handful of episodes that lean on physical comedy quite effectively, but this outing feels more like an off-brand Looney Tunes special featuring batman; The gimmicks are a lot zanier than usual, and the gags all feel more-than-a-bit tired (although I’ll give points for the pie-to-the-face bit).

Perhaps I’m being a bit of a Scrooge about it, but this one just falls a bit flat for me. At the very least the episode is responsible for giving us Mark Hamill as the Joker (and Loren Lester as Robin), so I’ll take the silver lining, but I think don't think it’s unfair to rate this at…

2 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Dastardly Logistics/1 - 'O TannenBOOM: I’ve often thought that supervillains always seem to have alarmingly unencumbered access to funds and resources. It’s one of those conventions I’m perfectly happy to embrace as part of the fun, nonetheless I can’t help being amused by the implications of all these elaborate weapons and death traps. Take the Joker’s Christmas tree escape-rocket, for example. It’s not exactly a small “tree,” so how did he build it without anyone knowing? What are the logistics of smuggling a fuselage and jet propulsion system into a prison for the criminally insane, and then assembling and disguising it, without anyone noticing? Did the guards not find it odd when they found a three story fern that no one ordered? Or did he replace the real tree with his Faux-Tree, and if so, what happened to the original?

Dastardly Logistics/2 - The Animated Conspiracy: Obviously the Joker is paying people to do these things for him, considering the whole episode takes place within the timeframe of a single night. Still, I’d be curious to know how he manages to secure funding for all this. I don’t doubt the money is stolen, but I find it hard to believe that he’s laundering it from his cell in Arkham. Where would half of this stuff even be manufactured? The way I see it, the majority of the Bat-rogues must all be backed by a mysterious sponsor, pulling the strings from the shadows. Whatever the truth may be, there are unanswered questions lying in the heart of Gotham City, pointing to an insidious plot that predates even the ‘court of owls.’

Hey Robin, are you high? How in your right mind could you POSSIBLY be surprised that your partner, a man famously known as the “Dark Knight,” who regularly employs torture tactics during his illegal interrogations, would somehow give a flying fuck about ‘It’s a Wonderful Life.’ This is the same man who put you through rigorous combat training, some of which presumably took place on-the-job against opponents with loaded firearms, while you were still an adolescent. And you’re surprised he hasn’t seen your favourite movie? I would have been utterly shocked if he had. Maybe take a break from your combat drills, and invest a little more of your energy brushing up on the observational skills your mentor is so famous for.

Star Trek, 105 (Oct. 6, 1966) - “The Enemy Within” [Production order #05]

Written by: Richard Matheson Directed by: Leo Penn [TRIGGER WARNING: Some discussion of attempted SA is necessarily touched upon in my review of this episode.]

This is the Episode Where…

The time-honoured tradition of transporter accidents begins! Kirk is split into two versions of himself, one positive, the other negative. Naturally the good Kirk is an intelligent-but-emotionally-timid-cuck, and the evil Kirk is a raging psychopath sex-crazed-bad-boy. Along the way, Spock imparts his hilariously troubling views about the human psyche.

The Breakdown

The crux of this episode’s conflict stems from two key talking points, so let’s start with the transporter B-Plot, before we tackle the significantly more problematic A-Plot.

Let the transporter shenanigans begin: The Enterprise crew are surveying one of the many styrofoam-desert-planets scattered across the alpha quadrant, when their geologist sustains an injury from a rockslide that subsequently covers him with a yellow powdered-ore that fucks up the transporters after he gets beamed to the ship for medical treatment. Shortly thereafter, Kirk also beams back up, but he arrives with some dizziness and a somewhat lethargic demeanor. Since even the slightest frailty is so unlike the incredible specimen-that-is-Kirk, Scotty escorts him into the corridor (leaving the room unattended), when the transporter pad fires up again on it’s own, and spits out a second kirk; except this one is FUCKING INSANE!

While the Good-Kirk/Bad-Kirk debacle carries on over in the A-Plot, Scotty is hard at work establishing his reputation as a miracle worker. You see, after Kirk’s literal-split personality disorder starts up, the survey team (now led by Sulu) sends up an indigenous alien unicorn-dog they found (essentially just a normal dog in a cute little horned onesie), which also splits into calm-v-rabid duplicates. Scotty quickly figures out that the yellow ore is the problem, meaning that until he can fix it, he doesn’t dare beam anyone else back up without risking a transpo-splitting fiasco, leaving the landing party stranded. The problem is that night is fast approaching down on styro-firma, where the temperatures drop well below freezing as the sun goes down, meaning poor Scotty’s working against the clock. Classic!

Now, thankfully Scotty whips up a way to reverse the splitting process on the unicorn-dog, but the shock of being re-merged into one pup tragically kills it. Naturally, Spock recklessly proposes that the two Kirks give the transporters a whirl next, despite the risks, because the story needs to keep moving. And speaking of the two Kirks, lets switch over to the A-plot!

Seeing Double: Yeah, so Kirk gets split in two. Here’s the basic expository low-down from Spock’s own mouth; Good-Kirk is compassionate and intelligent, and Bad-Kirk rageful and willful. This means (according to some incredibly tenuous logic) that while the good Kirk is more pleasant, his ability to take decisive action is significantly diminished, compromising his ability to command. Likewise, Bad-Kirk is capable of making decisions very quickly, but he’s a sexual predator, so… ‘nuff said.

Oh, and in case you thought I was exaggerating, Bad-Kirk’s first impulse is legitimately to straight up enter his Yeoman’s (Janice Rand’s) quarters and force himself on her. Thankfully she manages to call for help before things become tragic, but not before getting deeply uncomfortable to watch. Naturally everyone doubts her story about Kirk’s attempted assault (because that’s so implausible…), but after Scotty fills them in about the unicorn-dog, Spock figures out what’s going on.

The rest of the episode carries on with the standard cat-and-mouse hijinks one might expect from an episode like this, as Bad-Kirk lunges around like a cocaine fueled maniac, and Good-Kirk essentially does what ever Spock suggests. Of course, it’s all made unnecessarily complicated by the fact that none of the crew are aware of the situation, since filling them in (according to some more impeccable logic by Spock) would cause the crew to doubt their captain. You see, Captains aren’t allowed the luxury of weakness, and anything short of absolute perfection would compromise Kirk’s rank and status… which is to be protected at all costs, apparently. Consequently, this upkeep of deception stretches out the episode’s runtime until the last few minutes, at which point Spock and co. corral the two Kirk’s into the transporter to be rejoined, which works perfectly.

Oh yeah, and Sulu’s landing party gets to come home now too, so it all works out!

The Verdict

I’m not going to waste time explaining how the pop psychology of a nearly-60-year-old show is wildly flawed. Obviously the will to act is no more inherently tied to our rage and carnal desires, than intelligence is inherently tied to compassion and emotional frailty. The show needed an excuse to pit Kirk against himself, and the writers used their limited understanding of a medical field that was still in its infancy. The various assertions this episode makes about masculinity and psychology, is clearly tied to biases that would have been remarkably common for that era, to the point where I’d have been genuinely surprised if it wasn’t prevalent throughout the series. Some of Spock’s advice sounds not unlike something that Roger from ‘Mad Men’ might say, while downing an old fashioned and ogling his secretary; it’s so brazenly wrong that I can’t help but find it funny.

Which brings us to Janice.

After escaping Kirk’s attack, Janice heads straight to Sickbay, which is a good call. Using all of his tact and consideration as a medical professional, McCoy (with Spock) responds by summoning her alleged attacker while she’s still in the room. It’s obviously the good Kirk that arrives, but at this point no one is aware there’s two of them, and that’s when things start to get… icky. For starters, there is a distinct undercurrent within the scene that Kirk's reputation, and the preserving of it, is a higher priority than Janice's wellbeing. Even though she's visibly shaken, and disheveled, the three men all stand over her domineeringly as Kirk tests her stories for inconsistencies. Janice goes on to explain that normally she wouldn’t have resisted (he is the captain after all), but that she was just so surprised. Oh yeah, and there's also the fact that he was harming her that she didn’t care for either. Thankfully a crewmember with a penis, who actually witnessed the event (Bad-Kirk bludgeoned him for intervening), is able to set the record straight that someone with Kirk’s face definitely did attack her. With that cleared up, everyone quickly moves on because Janice’s trauma no longer drives the plot forward.

But the real kicker is in the final scene. With Kirk restored, Janice let’s him know that he’s off the hook, given the circumstances. It’s certainly not like he owes her a profuse apology for the 50% of him that evidently wants to take-and-possess her like an object, right? Because I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that Spock and McCoy each hold to the principle that both Kirks are equally necessary parts of his collective psyche. So, while Kirk “innocently” carries on with his captaining, Spock leans over to Janice and playfully insinuates that she probably kinda liked the attention Bad-Kirk gave her. Isn’t that neat? [Haha! The world is a nightmare.] Janice simply responds with a glowering look, which normally I would assume is her politely telling Spock to get Pon Farred. Unfortunately, context clues bring me to infer that she’s conveying embarrassment, indicating that Spock is meant to be partially correct, according to whoever wrote/signed off on this poorly conceived scene (official credit goes to Richard Matheson, but I’m not letting Gene Roddenberry off the hook either).

Again, I’m not surprised by the troubling views being expressed here, but in the case of Janice’s role within this story, it goes beyond what I can ignore. Barring that particular topic, I won’t deny the rest of the episode is otherwise somewhat entertaining, in a predominantly cringy sort of way. There are also some creative elements at play that would go on to become franchise staples, the most notable being ‘the transporter accident’ trope. I likely would have given this something closer to a 3 star rating if it didn’t take such a glib stance on sexual assault, but the excuse that this was a ‘product of it’s time’ doesn’t count towards a pass either.

1.5 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Even a broken clock…: One thing I do agree with, is that fear is often the driving force behind anger. At one point, McCoy points out that while Good-Kirk is highly emotional and regularly distraught, he’s not ever overwhelmed by fear, conversely the Bad-Kirk regularly is. I suppose this is where I’ll admit that there is some credence behind the idea that if you simply remove one part of yourself, even a negative part, that it would likely impact the parts of you that are positive, to the extent that it may even change you fundamentally. What I disagree with is the idea that sexual desire is innately tied to compulsive behaviors beyond our control, at least insofar as it is depicted in this episode, written by a team of creatives that clearly held some inherently misogynistic biases.

Pacifist Vulcan Violence: In addition to transporter shenanigans, this episode also introduces us to the ‘Vulcan nerve pinch.’ The story goes that Leonard Nimoy felt brute force would be uncharacteristic of an advanced progressive anti-emotion society, and offered the now-famous nerve pinch as an alternative. I find it interesting, because the moment barely registers today, since that move is such a casually iconic staple of the franchise. But I can only imagine this would have been such a novel concept when it first aired, especially for younger viewers.

The unicorn-dog is dead, Jim: I believe this might also be the show’s first use (according to production order) of McCoy’s famous line, “He’s dead, Jim.” Fitting that it was for a dog, the universal best friend of humankind, be it horned or otherwise. Good boy unicorn-dog. Good boy.

Medical Binge Drinking: So, I guess McCoy has a liquor cabinet in sickbay. Immediately after Bad-Kirk emerges, he heads straight for sickbay and demands a drink. He even goes so far as to shake McCoy until he surrenders an entire bottle of booze, and then proceeds to chug it like a frat-boy on a bender, stumbling down a corridor. I realize drinking on the job was more socially acceptable in the 60’s, but it does seem odd that a doctor would have enough drinking alcohol to stock a small bar, for the purpose of serving it to patients. I guess the 23rd century is so progressive that my feeble 21st century mind just wouldn’t understand. Yeah, that must be it.

Time for a change: Goodbye Spider-man (for now)

I’ve been doing some thinking, and I’ve decided to change things up around here for a little while. Now that I’ve finished reviewing the first seasons of ‘Star Trek: TNG’ and ‘Spider-man’, I’ll be taking a break from both series, to avoid getting tired of either. More to the point, it will probably be a bit longer before I return to Spider-man, in particuar. As much fun as it’s been to revisit that specific nook from my childhood, my interest in reviewing the show was beginning to wane, and I’d rather wait until I’m feeling more enthusiastic about continuing with season 2. Overall, I’ve gotten more out of my TNG posts (especially since there are quite a few episodes I haven’t seen), but that first season was a bit of a slog to get through, so the break will be a good chance to reset. Having said that, I do plan on returning to TNG a lot sooner.

Presently, my plan is to continue alternating between one live action series (probably another Star Trek), pared with another yet-to-be-determined animated series. To that end, I’m also exploring the possibility of changing up the animated stuff more regularly. As for the rest of December, I expect I’ll be posting a less frequently again, primarily thanks to holiday logistics, but I still have a couple things planned, which should be dropping sometime between now and the new year. With some luck, I may even have a new review ready for next week. So stay tuned, keep warm, and see you soon!

Introducing: Toony the Mascot!

When I was first setting up my account for ‘Episodic Nostalgia’, I had searched far-and-wide (aka 20-30 minutes of browsing online) for a public-domain anthropomorphized cartoon TV to use for my avatar, but evidently that's just a tad more specific than google was willing to accommodate. In the end I contented myself with the closest placeholder that I could find (which can check out below), until I had the time to create something more to my liking; and here we are, a little over a year later.

Presently, I'm settled on the name 'Toony Ventura', because then his initials are 'TV', which is about as clever as I feel like being at the moment. Perhaps later I'll select a different name if inspiration strikes, but I’m unlikely to deviate from puns or similarly childish wordplay, so consider yourself warned. For now, I’m just happy to have an avatar that I actually created.

When I was a kid I used to draw and doodle a lot more, but it's been a while since I put pencil-to-paper. And yes, I still draw with physical pencils and Inks, not because I'm opposed to using whatever the hottest illustrator programs are, I'm just not familiar enough to utilize them confidently. Nevertheless, I still managed to figure out enough to colour in my little friend using adobe illustrator (with a little assistance from a very patient friend), and I'm pretty happy with the result. I'm sure some of the shading could be improved upon, but it suits my purposes for the time being, and I can always return to alter/update him further down the line.

So there it is, I officially have a mascot for my blog, which gave me an excuse to jump back into an old hobby that I've been meaning to revisit for a while. I don't have any immediate plans to draw more, but who knows? Maybe I'll crack open a sketch pad one of these days, and see what happens.

Below: On the left - The stock image toon-tv that served as my initial Avatar. On the right - My original Ink-over-pencil drawing of Toony.

Presenting: The Alternate TNG Theme

I’m taking some downtime, so no review this week, but I thought this would be fun to share. I’m sure most super-fans are already aware, but there was a time when Jerry Goldsmith’s now-world-famous theme was not slated to be used on TNG.  This is the original theme meant for the show, written by Dennis McCarthy, and truthfully, I don’t hate it but… yeah, it would have been the wrong choice. Goldsmith’s score just IS Star Trek, no hard feelings Dennis!

Spider-man: The Animated Series - Season 1 Overview

And so we have arrived at the end of season one, which means it’s time for another seasonal overview! Just like my recent TNG entry, my rating is based on the season’s average. I’ve included the individual episode ratings, along with links to my reviews below, if you care to check them out. But right now let’s get down to business.

Season 1 of ‘Spider-man: The animated series’ has earned a rating of…

2.76 stars (out of 5)

To be clear, I consider anything above three stars as ‘good’ or better, whereas I would consider 2.5 to be “not very good, but entertaining enough for me to not overtly hate on it either.” Needless to say, 2.76 is not an amazing score, but it is a fairly accurate assessment of where the show (thus far) stands. There are both strong and weak episodes alike, but none that I would consider ‘great.’

[If anyone actually cares for me to expand on my rating system, feel free to leave a comment or ‘ask a question’ etc. and I’ll be happy to share, but I won’t pretend it’s not largely subjective. Then again, anyone who rates art claiming to use a purely objective, merit based approach, tends to be (respectfully) at-least-halfway full of shit.]

Overall, I think this is genuinely a solid cartoon for kids, which faithfully brings Spider-man’s merry band of friends-and-foes alike to life. Most of the episodes do a decent job of introducing the characters, while leaving room for their stories to grow and evolve. Ultimately, ‘Spider-man’ would go on to take full advantage of its serialized format, but this season comes with more growing pains than I’d (unsurprisingly) noticed as a child. Either way I think my score reflects that while the show is ideal for children (which, to be fair, is-and-ought-to-be the writer’s main priority), it also falls just short of living up to my rose-coloured childhood memories.

As these things tend to happen, there was something of a push to curb violent content being depicted in children’s programming at the time ‘Spider-man’ was being developed. Evidently it would appear not every show shared the same restrictions, and for whatever reason Spidey ended up with some fairly strange ones. Whether this truly created any disproportionate challenges compared to other shows is pure conjecture (according to showrunner John Semper, it didn't), but it definitely had an impact on the aesthetic. several of the censorship notes included (but were not limited to)…

No punching: Kicking and throwing were totally okay, obviously, since children are famously incapable of imitating those particular acts.

No Pigeons were harmed in the making of this cartoon: Apparently the censors were deeply concerned over the prospect of Spider-man landing on, and/or otherwise harming New York’s resident pigeon population whilst swinging around the rooftops. And no that’s not a joke, that is apparently a real note that John Semper received while the series was being developed. Never mind that wanton pigeon-slaughter has never been a characteristic synonymous with the web-head, or the fact that the animators would have to intentionally go out of their way to painstakingly render multiple frames of animation, in order for that to happen.

Guns are good, bullets are bad: Which is why every gun in the show exclusively discharges laser blasts, and appear to be designed for an 80’s Star Wars cartoon.

Killing, and death were forbidden: And I’m not talking about the act itself; It was already standard practice to prohibit onscreen deaths in virtually every Saturday morning cartoon. No, I’m referring to the use of the actual words. Consequently Spider-man’s enemies all threaten to “destroy” or “eliminate” him, but never kill. They may be criminals, but they’re not monsters.

Bizarre censorship guidelines aside, I’ve also heard the show had a limited budget, consequently some of the animation tends to feel cheap, and would be frequently recycled. Virtually every episode reuses the same explosion effects and sequences of Spider-man swinging over the city (sometimes flipped around if he needed to be traveling in the opposite direction), which is all common enough, but it would also happen with entire action sequences too. For instance, in the first appearance of Dr. Octopus, there’s a sequence where spider-man dodges the good doctor’s tentacles, as they smash into stacks of wooden crates in the background; And in virtually every episode where Doc Ock returns, that same sequence can be found time and again (apparently New York has crates in places that defy reason). That’s just one example, but it was a remarkably common occurrence with the other villains as well, to the point where I remember noticing it as a kid.

That's not to say any of this stuff is enough to ruin the show, but I do feel it affected the final product enough to affect a dip in quality, especially when comparing it to Batman: The animated series, which premiered several years earlier. Nonetheless, ‘Spider-man: TAS’ has still earned its place as the first-and-most comprehensive adaptation of the character, and arguably the best, at least up until the release of ‘Spectacular Spider-man’ roughly a decade later. With everything it had going against it, I find myself admiring the sheer earnestness and visual creativity on display. Whatever it lacks in style and production value, it more than makes up for in heart, creating a world not dissimilar from the ones I’d imagined while smashing plastic action figures together on a bookshelf-turned-skyscraper.

So maybe season one isn’t technically as strong as I remember, but it will always be a classic.

Night of the Lizard - 3 The Spider Slayer - 3.5 Return of the Spider Slayers - 3 Doctor Octopus: Armed and Dangerous - 3 The Menace of Mysterio - 2.5 The Sting of the Scorpion - 2 Kraven the Hunter - 3 The Alien Costume, Part 1 - 3.5 The Alien Costume, Part 2 - 3.5 The Alien Costume, Part 3 - 3 The Hobgoblin, Part 1 - 2.5 The Hobgoblin, Part 2 - 2.5 Day of the Chameleon - 1

Spider-man: The Animated Series, 113 (June 11, 1995) - “Day of the Chameleon”

Written by: John Semper Directed by: Bob Richardson

The Breakdown

The Chameleon is in New York and looking to commit some good old fashioned acts of international terrorism, which is how you know this episode was written before 9/11. In case you didn’t already know, the Chameleon is a supervillain with the ability to alter his appearance into literally anyone using (at least, in this series) an ‘imaging’ device, which is fashioned into an obscenely conspicuous belt. In fact, considering the episode establishes that his belt is the primary way to distinguish the Chameleon from whoever he’s impersonating, you’d think he might want to at least cover it with a jacket or something, but then I’m no criminal mastermind.

Enter: S.H.I.E.L.D.! That’s right, everyone’s favourite CIA/DHS hybrid (but somehow even more frighteni- I mean, more effective and indisputably good) is on the case, and that means they need the help of none other than… J. Jonah Jameson?  Yes, you read that correctly, Spidey’s news-time-nemesis has a critical role to play for national security. Since time is of the essence, Colonel Nick Fury has Jonah apprehended, and flown up to their secret sky fortress, where he’s briefed on the upcoming situation. You see, as a prominent businessman with security clearance, JJ is hosting the dinner party that the “peace conference” folk will be attending; naturally that’s where the Chameleon intends to assassinate his target (presumably, one of the key political figures involved with a peace signing, but it’s never really specified).  

JJ’s inclusion in this mission conveniently also kills two-narrative-birds-with-one-stone since Peter Parker happens to be with him in the limo when S.H.I.E.L.D. nabs them. As a result, Pete has a prime opportunity to break out of his guest-holding-cell (apparently security cameras were outside the budget), and eavesdrop during Nick Fury’s exposition dump.  Anyhow, Fury explains that he’s been trying to pin down the Chameleon for a while, following a series of attacks on various US embassy and military installations around the world (no evidence that he’s ever targeted schools or hospitals though, so I’ll give him points for avoiding war crimes), but S.H.I.E.L.D. has been flummoxed thus far.  So, Fury gives Jonah a little homing beacon/calling in case he spots Chameleon before a team of highly trained covert operatives. Desperate times, I suppose.

With Jonah and Peter placed back on Terra Firma, the story is finally able to move forward [but I’m going to save us all a lot of time, and cut to the chase, because there is a lot of repetition in this episode].  It turns out, that while JJ and Peter were busy being illegally detained by covert-sky-cops, the Chameleon took the opportunity to break into Jonah’s highly sensitive security files (which his secretary has casual access to), and upload the photos of everyone who will be at the dinner/conference into his imaging belt… [I gotta hand it to him though, that’s a CLASSIC supervillain move. Good form.]

…So, the rest of the episode pretty much plays out exactly as you would expect, with the chameleon predictably switching his appearance between all the established primary-and-supporting-cast, keeping him one step ahead of the law. In each instance Spider-man, and various S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, stumble over each other trying to apprehend the Chameleon from one chase sequence-to-the-next, as he dupes everyone with embarrassing ease, right until the very end when he makes his final assassination attempt disguised as Peter Parker.  Thankfully Spider-man is savvy enough to remember that HE is Peter Parker, and manages to to short circuit/electrify the Chameleon’s image-belt, by way of a well placed punch.

Aside from some minor misunderstandings in Peter’s personal life (caused by the Chameleon pretending to be him), all is well for our cherished web-head, who even gets an attaboy from Nick Fury himself.  It’s like I’m always saying, the absence of punishment from the secret police is its own reward!

The Verdict

I can’t say I cared for this one. There’s just something a little off-putting about a children’s cartoon that unquestioningly treats a shadow government/military agency with zero oversight as a positive thing.  And look, I realize that a substantial amount of pop-culture entertainment is at least heavily marinated in state sanctioned propaganda, regardless of whether the artists involved are even aware of it.  That’s just the nature of the world we live in, but we all have our limits, and this episode comes pretty damn close to reaching mine. Perhaps one might argue that I’m being a bit overly critical of a silly kids show, but that’s precisely what makes it feel especially gross and manipulative (even if it is unintentional). 

When Nick Fury is talking to J. Jonah Jameson, he explains that his own death was faked (Jonah even wrote the obituary) at the behest of ‘Uncle Sam’, and that S.H.I.E.L.D. is likewise operating in total secrecy, outside of even The FBI & CIA’s awareness.  That on its own wouldn’t be a great thing to endorse, but then Fury goes on to explain that he has been tasked with the secret mission of ‘keeping the world in one piece… no matter the cost,” which sounds like the sort justification Hydra might give, or… y’know, just any real-world fascist regime in general.  Of course, most kids (especially in the west) aren’t likely to consider that ‘keeping the world in one piece’ as it stands, is an ideal that should at the very least be reevaluated.  Anyways, enough of that! There’s a colourful shapeshifting monster right over there, and only the strong leadership of our laser-gun wielding overlords can save us.

And you know what, I might have cut this episode some slack if it had been a real banger, but it was just kind of predictable, tedious, and honestly made ‘the good guys’ appear annoyingly incompetent, to boot.  Even when I was a kid, I remember changing the channel whenever this episode came on, purely out of boredom. What can I say, young me, you were more right than you knew.

Although, I don't hate the art in this episode. It's quintessential 90's sci-fi camp, and I find it quite endearing.

1 star (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Openly Covert: For a super-secret group, the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents don’t really dress the part. In the opening scene they charge into a crowded airport, guns blazing, with their leader adorned in a purple jump suit (covered in obligatory 90's leg belts), with a bright yellow eagle emblazoned across her chest. Although I guess this was before everyone and their toddler had smart phones, so maybe they weren’t as worried about being caught on camera as much back then.

Spidey Punch: I believe this is the first time in the entire series that Spider-man is shown throwing a punch (aimed at the Chameleon’s belt).  For whatever reason, TPTB decided that punching was too violent, and so Spidey was largely relegated to kicking and throwing his adversaries, much like a pacifist would.

Holy Plagiarism, Batman: Speaking of that scene, when the Chameleon’s belt is short-circuiting, his appearance is made to involuntarily shift between the various identities he’s stolen.  It’s a perfectly fine visual, but one that seems to be stolen directly from the closing scene from Batman: TAS in the episode ‘Feet of Clay’ (part 2 to be specific).  At any rate, I would argue that both the animation and the emotional beats are considerably stronger in Batman’s respective episode, undermining this one even further.

Star Trek: The Next Generation - Season 1 Overview

Well, there you have it. It took a lot longer than anticipated, but I’ve officially completed season 1.  Huzzah!

I’ve mentioned it a few times before, but I’ve never actually seen this series in its entirety, so it’s been interesting to watch from the beginning, especially since I’m less familiar with the early seasons. So, in the continued interest of nostalgic observation, I thought I’d take a second to rank the season as a whole, and share my overall thoughts on the show thus far.

For anyone who hasn’t been following along on this little journey, my episode ratings are based on a 5 star system, to the nearest .5 of a star.  In the interest of avoiding any additional rounding, I’m ranking the season based on the overall average of each episode, even though the final score won’t look as neat.  

So without any further ado, over the span of 25 episodes, my average rating for season 1 of TNG comes to…

1.96 stars (out of 5)

Admittedly, that’s not a phenomenal score, but I don’t think it’s altogether unfair, nor do I bestow it with any malice. The fact is, most of these episodes were subpar-at-best, and that’s more-or-less consistent what I went in expecting to find. Star Trek shows historically aren’t known for starting on the strongest note, and when you take into account the drama that allegedly took place behind the scenes, it’s not all that surprising to encounter some (at times excruciating) growing pains. Ultimately there’s still enough good here to justify my continued curiosity, and there’s something to be said for giving a show enough time to grow into itself; something that’s been unfortunately absent in the advent of streaming television.

A huge part of what does-and-doesn’t work comes down to the writing and characterizations, with only a handful of the cast getting any kind of meaningful development.  Unfortunately, the women get the short end of the stick (which led to some aforementioned BTS drama), so as I rank each character (using a pass/neutral/fail ranking), please keep in mind that the following criticisms are predominantly directed to the writers, and not the actors (who I genuinely believe were doing the best with what they had).

1. Jean-Luc Picard

It’s widely accepted that Patrick Stewart is a huge reason for the show’s success, but the writers do deserve some credit here. In one of my reviews I mentioned that his character progression feels like it’s largely made up as it goes, and often accidental.  That may be true, but also largely immaterial.  Most ongoing television shows DO make it up as they go, and that’s just a reality of the medium.  Personally, I enjoyed getting a new perspective on Picard, which shows that he was kind of a staunch asshole until this crew warmed his frigid little heart. Whether that’s the intent is immaterial, because it does make him more interesting, and lends itself nicely to some of his established lore, which is undeniably given the most focus across the board.

Grade: PASS

2. William T. Riker

Riker has such acute horny golden retriever energy in this season. He could easily have come off as Picard’s handsome right-hand douche, but he’s given just enough charm (I’m giving a good share of the credit to Jonathan Frakes for that) that I can’t bring myself to dislike him.   Having said that, he’s still fairly two-dimensional at this point in the show, and I can’t say I find him that interesting on his own.  Maybe the beard really does make a difference.

Grade: PASS (but not by a lot)

3. Geordie LaForge

Levar Burton’s talents are almost entirely unused, although I give him full credit for doing everything he can, LaForge amounts to little more than a bouncing board for Data.

Grade: NEUTRAL

4. Tasha Yar

Talk about a missed opportunity. Aside from her death in ‘Skin of evil’ (which barely focussed on her) Tasha was really only featured in one episode, which is widely regarded as one of Star Trek’s all-time-worst. What a waste.

Grade: FAIL

5. Worf

Everyone’s favourite Klingon is pretty underused for a majority of the season, but “heart of Glory” does a good enough job at fleshing out his character, and quite effectively starts his journey towards being one of the all time “trek greats”.

Grade: PASS

6. Dr. Beverley Crusher

Dr. Crusher was never really on my radar, back when I was a kid, and  I always kind of found her boring. Sadly, that mostly holds true here, but knowing what happened with Gates McFadden behind the scenes (she was fired for season 2, because apparently she agreed with my assessment), I do have a much higher appreciation for her performance.  Crusher has some attitude, and I like it.  I only wish the writers had used that to their advantage, instead of trying to reduce her to a romantic interest for Picard.

Grade: NEUTRAL (but would have been a ‘fail’ if not for McFadden)

7. Deanna Troi

Troi is clearly an example of a writing team who put in very little work to develop this character. I get that it was the 80’s and psychiatric/psychological treatments were only just starting to be recognized as a legitimate branch of health care, but the writers weren’t even trying here.  Troi is regularly depicted as emotional, fragile, and often relegated to “traditional gender roles.”  She’s not interesting because the writers don’t seem equally disinterested in exploring her, beyond her value as a pretty woman that Riker can sometimes covet.

Grade: FAIL

8. Data

Barring Picard, Data is the most developed character to come out of season 1, and I would say he’s easily the most interesting.  This is a prime example of how a show should ideally develop it’s cast.  Character-centric episodes are obviously important for establishing major beats, but it’s the small moments of continued growth that bring characters like Data to life.

Grade: PASS

9. Wesley Crusher

Ugh, I just can’t stand this character, and I feel bad because it seems like Wil Wheaton may very well be an alright dude, but holy shit is Wesley annoying. All the same, I feel the need to reiterate that I hold the writers 100% responsible for how his character was managed.

Grade: FAIL

I don’t have a lot else to say that I haven’t already talked about in the individual reviews, but there are two other elements that warrant a quick shout out.

Jerry Goldsmith’s opening theme is a classic. Of course it was originally used in ‘The Motion Picture’ nearly 10 years prior, but the arrangement for TNG is iconic, and I love everything about it.  No matter how bad an episode ends up being, the opening credits never fail to hype me up.

The Model work: This would be the last Star Trek series to use (I think almost exclusively?) models for the Enterprise, and the other various ships, and they look incredible. I’m not throwing shade on the other show’s use of CGI, those artists also did solid work, especially considering how new the technology was, but I’ll always be a slut for practical effects.

And that’s about all I have to say! For the sake of posterity, I’ve listed each episode below, along with my ranking. All the episodes with a blue-coloured rating are ones that I'd already seen at some point beforehand (mostly during my teen years). I’m curious to see how many I'd failed to watch growing up, so I'll continue keep track of that as I move forward.

Encounter at Farpoint - 2 The Naked Now - 2 Code of Honor - 0 The Last Outpost - 1.5 Where No One Has Gone Before - 3 Lonely Among Us - 2 Justice - 1 The Battle - 2.5 Hide and Q - 2 Haven - 1 The Big Goodbye - 3 Datalore - 3.5 Angel One - 1 11001001 - 2.5 Too Short a Season - 3 When the Bough Breaks - 0.5 Home Soil - 2.5 Coming of Age - 2 Heart of Glory - 3 The Arsenal of Freedom - 3 Symbiosis - 1 Skin of Evil - 1.5 We'll Always Have Paris - 1 Conspiracy - 3 The Neutral Zone - 1.5

Star Trek: The Next Generation, 125 (May 16, 1988) - “The Neutral Zone”

Teleplay by: Maurice Hurley Story by: Deborah McIntyre & Mona Clee Directed by: James L. Conway

The Breakdown

This is one of those “multiple story lines going on at the same time” episodes, so first let’s deal with…

Plotline  #1 – After the Enterprise scanners pick up an old earth space capsule that piques Data’s interest, he and Worf decide to hop over and take a look. There they find three preserved bodies in cryonic chambers, which are beamed over to sick bay.  Turns out these three bodies have been sitting out in space since the late 20th century, y’know, from 25 years ago when people began the common practice of preserving their deceased loved ones (it was like Tamagotchi’s, everyone was doing it) in the hope of reviving them when medical science had advanced far enough.  That’s right, I said deceased.  These three people were frozen at the exact moment of their death (that’s gotta be tricky to pull off), and now revived 300 years by Dr. Beverly Crusher herself; their company is comprised of a Rich Guy who played the stock market, A mother of two, and a drug addicted musician. 

The episode follows the newly resurrected boomers, as they grapple with the fact that they’ve jumped 300+ years into the future, and that their loved ones are all dead, etc. The Rich dude (Ralph ) has a particularly hard time coping with the fact that his fortune is both nonexistent and (even if it weren’t) meaningless, since the pursuit of wealth and power no longer holds any sway in the post-scarcity 24th century. The mother (Clare) understandably spends most of the runtime being depressed, until Troi points out that she has a great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, who will undoubtedly welcome his displaced ancient ancestor with open arms. Lastly, the musician (Sonny) pretty much stays a lecherous, sexist, alcoholic, but he’s mostly having a good time enjoying the replicators and hanging out with his new guitar. At various points they inconvenience Picard (who’s dealing with more important things in the other plotline), but mostly they kind of sit around as the Enterprise crew smugly judge them for being ignorant and confused, until they’re transferred to another ship that will take them back to earth and become someone else’s problem.

Plotline #2 -  Starfleet outposts along the Neutral Zone (the established border between the Federation and the Romulan Empire) are being destroyed, and Picard has been ordered to check out if the Romulans are to blame.  Most of the Episode deals with Picard getting the bridge crew to study the Romulans so they can form a strategy, but that’s easier said than done, since it’s been decades since anyone has heard from them.

Anyways, when they finally arrive along the edge of ‘the zone’, Worf makes a shocking revelation that their outposts aren’t destroyed, but rather completely missing, since there would be some sign of debris otherwise.  Shortly thereafter a Romulan ship decloaks, and their captain explains to Picard that their outposts are also missing, and figured it was the Federation’s doing, but now realize it must have been someone-or-something else. Thankfully cooler heads prevail, and both sides agree to collaborate on solving this mystery later on, and then leave, but not before making a thinly-veiled threat that they’ll be back to cause more trouble down the road.

So, on that disconcerting note, the Enterprise optimistically heads back to its regular business because this is the finale, and we need to wrap things up until next season!

The Verdict

The thing is, both plot outlines have plenty of potential, in their own right.  A story about displaced-wealthy-20th-century-folk struggling to fit into a society that has no place for their ideologies, is a perfect theme for Star Trek. And I’ll admit, there’s every chance that the execution of such a story would come off as pretentious and out-of-touch as anything else the show put out during this season, but even a failed attempt would be interesting to watch… provided of course that it was the primary focus of the episode.  My biggest issue wasn’t how hilariously proud of itself the Hurley's script is for criticizing capitalism (while we’re at it, did you know slavery and genocide are also bad? Follow me, for more deep insights!), but rather that the story doesn’t really go anywhere, or do anything with the subject matter.

Ralph (the survivor with the most screen time) is arrogant and demeaning to the crew because he’s used to getting his own way, and we are made to understand that his love of money is directly tied to his character flaws, which is fine, but then what? At one point there’s a scene where he disregards Picard’s orders (to calm the fuck down and stay out of the way), and chooses to intrude on bridge just in time to see the Romulans being space-jerks, but there are no real consequences or thematic correlation, rendering the moment pointless. In the end Ralph seemingly resigns himself to accepting his new lot in life, but has nothing in the way of a meaningful epiphany to help him reach that point. Clare and Sonny both have similarly meandering “journeys” as well. Clare ultimately takes comfort in knowing she has living a descendant (who doesn’t know her, or share any cultural values), while Sonny just happily concludes that since everyone he knows is dead, he doesn’t need to worry about facing any accountability for his past (and seemingly hurtful) life choices.  Remember kids, the secret to finding inner peace is in outliving everyone you've ever wronged!

Meanwhile, the “Romulans-are-back” story line is conceptually more exciting, but it takes almost the entire episode for anything to happen. The most intriguing development is the revelation that some other unknown entity may pose a threat big enough to challenge both the Federation and Romulan empire simultaneously, but then it’s quickly tossed away in favour of a generalized tease about the Romulans stepping up as the show’s primary antagonist. It’s not so much that it’s bad, but like the “boomers-in-space” story, it doesn’t really go anywhere, leaving us with what is essentially a promise that more interesting episodes will continue the story “some other time.”

Now before anyone gets up in arms, yes I am aware that this episode was originally intended as the first in a multi-episode arc, before the writers strike forced them to rework their plan [more on this below].  Be that as it may, even if part 2 had both A) existed, and B) rocked hard, this is still a weakly structured episode.  That’s not to say I hated ‘the neutral zone’ altogether, but I certainly can’t say I thought it was good. 

Nice try guys, maybe next time.

1.5 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

Apathetic utopia: One thing that doesn’t sit right with me is the sheer disregard that Picard and many of his crew show for the space-boomer’s safety and well being. For starters, Riker was barely willing to let Data check out the capsule to begin with (even after Data points out that it could have historical value, if nothing else), but even after Data and Worf discover the bodies, Riker seems put out by Data’s insistence that they be preserved.  Then, to make matters worse, when Picard hears that the SB’s have been revived he’s downright irritable with Data, arguing that he should have left the survivors behind because “they WERE dead at the time.”  But like… here’s the thing, Dr. Crusher examined their bodies and discovered that all of them could be revived with relative ease, which suggests they were only clinically dead, and it’s commonly accepted that the window of revival in the Trek universe is significantly larger than our present day reality.  So yeah, they were technically dead, I suppose, but not irretrievably, which I would argue comes with a clear moral responsibility. The context for Picard’s ambivalence toward the situation is that he’s stressed about the upcoming Romulan mission, but that’s still an oddly callous stance for a man who professes the sanctity of life.

Silly things I find interesting: Introducing, the Borg! …kinda.  I can’t remember if the missing outposts are ever mentioned again in the show, but the intended continuation of this story was originally meant to serve as an introduction to the Borg, who would have been revealed as the true culprits. Obviously that didn’t pan out, but it’s interesting to think what might have been.

In fairness to the writers, a big part of why the script was so lacklustre is, once again, due to the strike. Basically, once a writers strike is underway, productions aren’t allowed to make any changes to a script until the union signs an agreement. Knowing the strike was imminent, it seems Maurice Hurley had no choice but to whip up a completed script based on the first draft, in only a couple days time.  Needless to say, the results speak for themselves.  Ultimately, I think it would have made more sense for the studio to keep the script for the following season; ‘Conspiracy’ was already a much more exciting episode, and would have served as a stronger season finale.

Did you know that... in Canada (where I'm from) our "Universal health coverage" still doesn't cover cryogenic suspension. So reach out to your MP and let them know we demand better comprehensive coverage before the next federal election! [All kidding aside, we should be doing that anyway. Seriously, how is dental not inherently included in that?]

Spider-man: The Animated Series, 112 (May 27, 1995) - “The Hobgoblin, Part Two”

Written by: Stan Berkowitz Directed by: Bob Richardson

LAST TIME… on Spider-man.

Hobgoblin spends his time ping-ponging between working for Wilson Fisk (aka the Kingpin) and Norman Osborn, when he’s not kidnapping Harry and putting Aunt May into a coma (or “Seizure,” according to her quack doctor). Oh! And He’s feeling pretty chuffed about blowing up a building (with pumpkin missiles) right after Spider-man jumped into it, which admittedly would kill most people, so I can appreciate why he would be feeling optimistic.

AND NOW… the continuation!

The Breakdown

Yeah, so Spider-man basically just escapes by hopping out the back window, which is pretty much what I would have expected. I know it’s what I would do if I possessed the power of super-parkour. Anyways, they fight a bunch more until Spider-man escapes in the sewers.

So, Hobgoblin heads back to Fisk’s tower to report in, and finally collect the money he’s owed for kidnapping Harry, but Fisk quickly reveals a video recording (via hidden camera) that shows Hobgoblin re-colluding with Norman. Since betrayal is a universal no-no in the world of organized crime, Fisk orders the Goblin’s execution, but then ol’ Hobby turns around and completely overwhelms Fisk’s people with pumpkin bombs (the first time is always the most shocking). With no other choice than to retreat, Fisk leaves his enterprise in Hobgoblin’s traitorous hands.  [Never mind that the Kingpin’s base of operations is in his privately-owned skyscraper, and that at a certain point you’d think the general public might take notice of a cackling maniac in a Halloween costume, flying into-and-out-of the giant Heli-pad-draw-bridge at the top of Fisk Towers. New York must take that “possession is 9/10th’s of the law” rule seriously.]

Turnabout is fair play though, so Fisk and Norman decide to put their differences aside and team up by… hiring Spider-man? Yep, Fisk provides Norman with directions for the secret underground tunnel into his crime tower, which Norman passes on to the Web-head so he can fight the Hobgoblin for them. And that works ...pretty well, too.  Spider-man fucks up the Gobin’s shit, rescues Harry, and hightails it out the same way he came in (instead of just escaping out the giant five-story-sized exit that Hobgoblin wisely used). Wanting to ensure that his base of operations remains a secret, Fisk orders his lackey, Smythe (the same dude who built the spider-slayers a while back), to blow up the escape tunnel with Spidey and Harry still inside.  Since this is Spider-man’s show, he makes it out just fine, but the tunnel is destroyed, so he's left to wonder what that mysterious crime-base was all about.

With Harry safe, there’s really nothing else to- Oh oops there’s still a few minutes on the clock, so, uhh… Hobgoblin comes back for one more quick fight! Sure, we might as well do that.  Thankfully, Spider-man is able to deke his adversary out, by knocking him off-balance and into the river, and… that IS the all fighting we have time for, so we’ll have to wait until next season before we hear from the Hobster again.

All that’s left is for Pete to visit Aunt May, who conveniently recovers from her seizur-[Coma!  That was a fucking coma!  Was the concept of a coma honestly too much for the censors!? No, I will not let this go!], and reveals that the real reason she passed out is because Pete’s room was too much of a pig-stye for her to cope with. Haha fair enough. I guess Peter will need to move back in with Aunt May, so she can keep doing his chores for him.

Aw!

The Verdict

I think it just boils down to this, as a surface level adaptation for children, there is nothing specifically wrong about this episode.  Even as a cynical adult, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy this little trip down memory lane.  The fact is, this episode (in conjunction with the previous one) introduced me to the Hobgoblin, paving the way for me to discover his comic book counter part, where he’s considerably more interesting.

I suppose my only “problem” is that this episode leaves me with about as little to praise as criticize. For the most part it’s just one fight scene after the next, with very little story, and virtually nothing of consequence that would impact future episodes. If nothing else, this arc served as a prime opportunity to bring Spider-man’s awareness to the Kingpin’s enterprise, which sort of happens (in the sense that he sees the hideout) before it’s breezed over and forgotten.

Not bad, not great, no harm, no foul.

2.5 stars (out of 5)

Parting Thoughts

So, to reiterate, the Kingpin has this nifty skyscraper where he does his crime with fancy computers that connect him to all the other crime across the globe [… I’m pretty sure that’s just the internet], replete with a giant door (pictured above) that swings down like a draw-bridge-to-the-sky, so military-grade aircraft and giant killer robots can come-and-go as needed. I always wondered what the rest of New York thought about that.  I can’t help think that the office workers from the buildings across the street must have witnessed some awfully strange goings-on over at Fisk towers.  An occasional helicopter I can understand, Fisk is a billionaire after all, but surely the flying Kaiju-scorpions, and trick-or-treaters with laser guided missiles, must have raised a few eyebrows. I guess once you’ve lived in New York for a while, nothing fazes you.

After Hobgoblin has taken over Fisk’s tower (man, the ground floor reception staff must have been having one doozy of a day), he calls up Norman and demands that Oscorp be legally signed over to him, lest he kill Harry. Now, that is a pickle, to be sure, but it’s also kind of an empty threat. Surely someone attached to the government (or the banks, maybe) are going to flag any transaction of an entire corporation to SURNAME: Goblin GIVEN NAME: Hob (unless that’s short for Hobbes?).  Honestly, Fisk and Norman should have just waited him out.  It’s not like he can spend his newly-stolen fortune without revealing his identity.

Nostalgic Extra: Halloween (adjacent) edition!

Happy Halloween, everyone!  My review for “the Hobgoblin, Part 2” Will be dropping on Monday, but in the meantime please enjoy this first ever full-page appearance of the Hobgoblin from ‘The Amazing Spider-man #238’ by John Romita’s Jr. & Sr.

Unfortunately, I was behind schedule on being born, so I missed the release of this issue by a couple years. Thankfully, not unlike my introduction to the Symbiote-suit arc, I was ultimately able to hunt down Hobgoblin’s origin via some back issues of ‘Marvel Tales’, which reprinted several Issues from Roger Stern’s critically acclaimed run.

Initially, those three issues (pictured below) left me on a tense cliffhanger for a number of years, before I was finally able to find the conclusion.  This was back in the day where reliable access to comprehensive trade paperback collections still wasn’t a thing, and Amazon was only in its infancy. You just had to accept that if you missed an issue, there might not be much you could do about it.

Naturally, I would always perform an extensive sweep of the back issue bins whenever I visited the more out of the way comic shops.  Even then, you would count yourself lucky if you found just one missing issue in a multi-chapter arc, jig sawing my collection together one found treasure at a time.

Strange to say, but I kind of miss those days. Who ever said Nostalgia was rational?