ephy.

     She let her husband cut her off. If James wasn’t ready to believe that one of his best mates could betray him, then he wasn’t ready. There wasn’t anything she could do or say to make him ready to accept that - but she could still dissuade him from following after Peter if she needed to. “Okay.” Lily whispered softly. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe he wouldn’t.” She didn’t believe it, but she’d soothe him as best she could for a moment.

     Lily reached out, gently rubbing his back for a moment. She could tell his mind was working hard to figure out what was truth and what was fiction, but she didn’t know how to help him along without making it worse. Though she nearly slid into his lap to hug him when he started cursing. The only reason she didn’t was because his hands slammed down on the counter.

The redhead jumped.

     “Each other.” Lily whispered, letting him rise in his anger. All she wanted was to make it better… but how could she? How could she fix this when she couldn’t stop the war in its tracks? How could she fix this when she couldn’t stop one of his best friends from trying to kill him?

     Well… she could stop that. Sneak out of the house after James fell to rest. Call on Peter to meet her. He would. He was pretending to be their friend. She could end him. Tonight. But… she couldn’t stop him any other way.

     “The world is harsh right now.” She whispered, agreeing. Lily’s eyes were almost watery. Almost. But she had to stay calm. For him. Especially when he was not calm himself. “I know. It hurts. But we have each other, James. We have Harry. Sirius. Remus. They’re your brothers, too. Far truer ones than Peter. They could kill for you - but they would never lead you to your death. Not willingly.” She wet her lips. “We fight for each other. And we’ll win for each other.”

his  eyes  stung  from  unshed  tears,  though  he  was  sure  if  he  touched  a  hand  to  his  cheeks  it  would  come  away  wet  anyway.  james  was  surprised  he  could  even  hear  lily  over  his  own  hammering  heart,  seemingly  threatening  to  escape  his  ribcage  with  every  thundering  beat  and  shatter  into  a  million  pieces  at  his  feet.  this  war  had  caused  many  hopeless  nights  but  it  hadn’t  taken  much  to  mend  them  --  the  sound  of  harry  laughing,  feeling  lily’s  breath  against  his  neck  while  they  laid  in  bed  at  night,  a  visit  from  his  mates  that  reminded  him  that  amongst  all  the  bloodshed...  they  were  still  a  family.  no  matter  how  mad,  angry  or  broken  the  dark  lord’s  forces  made  them.   but  this  was  different,  james  had  never  felt  this  undone.  not  even  after  his  parents  had  died  and  those  had  been  without  a  doubt  the  worst  few  months  of  his  life.  his  friends  had  been  the  one  to  mend  him.  legs  dangling  off  the  astronomy  tower,  shoulder  to  shoulder,  the  world  at  their  feet.  they  were  his  and  he  was  theirs,  always. 

“we’ll  die  for  each  other,”  his  voice  comes  out  in  barely  a  murmur.  every  muscle  in  his  body  still  tight  and  rigid  even  as  the  anger  seeps  out  of  him,  equally  as  quickly  as  it  had  burst  forward  minutes  ago.  

realistically,  james  knew  he  wasn’t  any  less  angry  but  it  had  taken  a  backseat  to  how  bloody  tired  was.  dementors  were  known  for  feeding  off  of  happiness,  draining  hope  from  everything  they  touched.  sometimes  james  felt  like  he  was  torn  from  the  same  cloth,  bringing  ruin  to  everything  and  everyone  he  dared  to  care  about.  he  hadn’t  always  been  a  good  man,  as  a  matter of  fact  he  still  wasn’t  one  and  often  let  his  propensity  to  be  cruel  get  the  best  of  him.  

“Hey, we only did that once.” Remus turned and looked at him. “Okay, okay, three times, but James is right! No need to do that this time.”

“Because there’s no way he’s going to get any of those Ravenclaw girls to go out with him. If that one girl turns him down, I’d be surprised if anyone else would want to be second choice.”

 as  the  week  went  on,  james  committed  more  time  and  effort  than  he  ever  planned  to  on  winning  the  bet.  not  that  he  would  be  caught  dead  admitting  to  that  out  loud.  according  to  him,  the  several  hundred  times  sirius  had  needled  him  about  over  the  past  few  days,  james  already  had  a  date.  he  just  simply  was  not  at  liberty  to  go  into  further  detail  about  who  they  were  and  how  it  happened.

 he’d  been  lying,  of  course.  partially  because  his  other  attempts  to  chat  up  the  few  ravenclaws  who  could  tolerate  his  presence  hadn’t  gone  well.  one  such  go  ending  with  a  particularly  annoyed  sixth  year  casting  a  nasty  bat-bogey  hex  on  him.  needless  to  say,  james  hadn’t  felt  the  urge  to  test  his  luck  any  further  that  day.  not  because  he  was  embarrassed,  certainly  not,  but  in  the  name  of  protecting  vital  appendages  from  the  other  hexes  ravenclaw  girls  seemed  to  have  tucked  away  in  their  mammoth  brains.

 nancy  was  the  other  leading  reason  james  couldn’t  seem  to  find  a  date.  she  wasn’t  deliberately  sabotaging  him,  at  least  he  didn’t  think  so,  but  she  had  to  go  and  wriggle  her  way  under  his  skin  and  make  him  all  keen.  a  feeling  james  had  thought  was  solely  reserved  for  lily  evans.  only  where  lily  had  resolutely  decided  not  to  give  james  the  time  of  day,  nancy  did.  well,  kind  of.  she  let  him  walk  her  to  her  lessons,  pinched  his  hand  when  he  stole  chocolate  muffins  off  her  breakfast  plate,  only  rolled  her  eyes  when  james  would  randomly  barge  into  her  study  periods  and  gently  step  on  her  toes  under  the  table  to  get  her  attention.  he  even  spotted  her  in  the  stands  of  his  practices,  nose  still  buried  in  a  textbook  but  james  had  caught  her  looking  at him  once  and  had  felt  very  ready  to  read  into  things.

 the  trip  to  hogsmeade  had  otherwise  snuck  up  on  james  by  the  time  saturday  rolled  around.  he  was  reluctant  to  admit  that  he  was  still  dateless  as  he  shrugged  on  his  favourite  jacket.  unless  by  some  miracle,  peter  had  either  taken  his  bait  and  decided  to  dip  into  their  polyjuice  potion  supply  or  steal  a  wig.  peter  appearing  next  to  him,  shoving  his  head  in  a  beanie,  confirmed  james  had  no  such  luck.  he  had  left  the  dormitory  early  that  morning  under  the  guise  of  an  impromptu  practice,  though  he  had  been  really  biding  his  time  in  facing  sirius  and  the  inevitable  running  of  his  mouth.

italic for things that sometimes.  apply bold for things that always.  apply strike out what never applies

CARMILLA.     giant featherbeds. tightening a corset.  moonlit walks.   killing for love.   cruelty for the sake of love. love is always selfish.    romantic tragedy. love to the brink of destruction. nighttime rendezvous. bloody kisses on soft skin.  death was the maiden. a very strange agony.  claimed by the supernatural. dreaming about your lover.  sympathy for the devil.  loving me to death.    candlesticks lighting up the palm of your hand.    a passion that wearies you. killing the one you love.

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.   a single red rose laid out to be found. sensual voices singing them to sleep.  a familiar shadow attending every recital. love waits on the rooftop in the night.  two soulmates holding hands. walking down long corridors.  retrieving something lost.  devoting one’s craft to them.   making them your muse.  the horror was for love.  painted faces on parade.   gentle touches in the dark.  revealing your darkest secrets.   beauty and the beast.  writing messages on the mirror. kindness conquers all. letting your lover go.   love never dies.

JANE EYRE.    loving the escape.  an impassioned affair.  being consumed by love.   meeting your soulmate. lace and silk.  thirsting for the perfect romance.   marrying for passion.   losing yourself in the face of your lover.  wedding veils and bouquets of pink roses. maddened by love.   finding warmth in the cold.   calling out for your love.  starting at the bottom. the fire cleanses all. hiding your passion. your love will destroy me / my love will destroy you.

THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY.   painting a portrait or sketching the face of someone you love.  meeting in secret.  visions of your lover dying.  clutching a lover’s clothes to your chest.  love so consuming you kill them. protecting their innocence at all costs. betrayal.   polyamory.  devotion. flowers for the one you love. remembering the name of your first love. jealousy when you see them with someone else. love so consuming you die for it.  visiting the the place where you saw them the first time.

THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO. letters to your lover.  marrying for love.   these bars can’t keep me from you.  motivated by love.   an avenging angel.  scorching jealousy.   love reborn.  devoted to memory. it was all for you. going your separate ways.  commit murder for me.  an unstoppable hunger.   death comes for us all.  the strongest love eventually grows apart.

DRACULA.   the holiest love.  girls love wolves.  the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.  violence is passion.    red lips, sharp teeth.   love letters in a diary.  unrelenting support.  getting lost in the woods.  coming home to you.   walking backwards into hell.   vengeance for my love.   even death won’t stop me.  we can live forever.   love is an open wound.   too much love to give.  bestowing your favor.   a never-ending thirst.  beauty even in death.   ravenous desire.  if only death had a heart to give.  a mercy killing. these violent delights have violent ends.

FRANKENSTEIN.   childhood friends to lovers. they were something out of a dream.  arranged marriages.  learning to love.  was it all really worth it? our guilt can know no bounds. vengeance, my love.   dismembered body parts.   my beating heart in your open palm.   your death destroys me.   adam and eve. crossing the mountains. an antagonist in mourning. paradise lost. the loss of innocence.  abandoning your dream.   the tempest on the horizon.   humans are the real monsters.   my love is wiser than my hate.

TAGGED BY : @imbricare​ <3

A few of the Ravenclaws giggled, although some were laughing at him rather than the other. Gazes all turned back to Nancy now, like a game of pingpong.

She stared at Potter for a moment longer before giving him a dismissive wave, “Ask me again tomorrow. Maybe I’ll feel more generous.”

Sirius, who had been straining to overhear the conversation over the rest of the noise in the Great Hall (he could’ve cast a spell to hear better, but he was too lazy to do so at the moment), tried to read the expressions of the girls from where he could see. He did catch the dismissive wave, though!

“Aha! Rejection number one of many,” he proclaimed, victorious, to Moony and Wormtail beside him.

“I don’t think so,” observed Remus, who despite rolling his eyes earlier, had to admit the situation was entertaining. “I think that Ravenclaw’s going to play with him for a bit.”

“Really?” Sirius squinted as if that would make her intentions clearer from this distance. “Well if he wastes too much time pursuing her he won’t make the bet by the end of the week.”

“What’s the bet again?” Peter asked.

“I take his detention for him,” Sirius waved the idea away. He wasn’t going to lose this. He wasn’t!

james  plants  himself  back  down  next  to  peter,  feeling  expressly  uninterested  in  paying  padfoot’s  shit  eating  grin  any  mind  beyond  a  swift  kick  to  his  shin  under  the  table.  he  reaches  for  a  buttered  piece  of  toast,  tearing  off  the  corner  and  shoving  it  straight  into  his  mouth. 

“you  swear  this  bet  won’t  end  with  me  serving  the  detention,  right?”  peter  remarked  over  his  half  empty  glass  of  orange  juice.  “remus  says  you’re  both  not  allowed  to  do  that  anymore  --- moony’s  orders.”

     Two words nearly shattered her. It was a trap. Lily’s eyes closed tightly for a moment, trying to hold herself together at the idea of James walking into a trap. It was fine. He was alright. Everyone was alright - James would have told her already if they weren’t. Letting out a shaky breath, she fixed pretty green eyes on his again and gave him a tight smile. Though even that faded as she listened to him go on.

     Suddenly, the redhead was feeling sick to her stomach. She knew that this was war, that they had to stay strong for each other, stay alive for each other. For Harry. Sometimes it was painfully hard to do. “Oh, James.” Lily whispered softly, pained, running her fingers soothingly through his hair. She didn’t know how to make things better for them in that moment.

     Not unlike her husband, Lily was a fighter. These days, however, her fighting was quite worn down to wrestling a baby into a new diaper and trying to settle down his fussing. Honestly, it made her feel a little awful that she wasn’t doing more for the war… but when James said he would have been dead tonight if not for Kingsley? Well, Lily wished that he would just hide away with her, too. Not that it seemed to matter. Even those they trusted… apparently that was a mistake. “He did it on purpose, didn’t he?” She asked, voice quiet, about Peter. “He… he’s working for him… isn’t he?” The way she looked at her husband, it was clear that the thought distressed her, but unfortunately it seemed clear. Peter Pettigrew was a traitor.

"no,”  james  cuts  her  off,  even  though  he  doesn’t  really  believe  it.  his  voice  comes  out  shaky,  desperate. 

a  part  of  him  had  hoped  that  finally  telling  lily  would  miraculously  fix  this.  she  had  always  been  a  balm  for  his  troubles,  giving  james  the  discernment  he  needed  when  he  couldn’t  see  passed  his  own  ego  and  fell  into  old,  narrow-minded  habits.  “he’s  not  ----  pete  couldn’t.  he  wouldn’t.” 

only  all  it  seemed  to  do  was  bring  the  harsh  truth  into  the  light,  somewhere  james  couldn’t  hide  from  it  or  ignore  it.  no  matter  how  much  he  might  want  to.  all  at  once,  his  shoulders  sag  and  james  all  but  crumbles  in  on  himself.  

“fuck,”  he  hisses  under  his  breath,  hands  lifting  to  press  the  heels  of  his  palms  into  the  sockets  of  his  eyes.  “fuck,  fuck,  fuck.” his  eyes  sting  with  unshed  tears,  his  fingers  tremble once  his  hands  fall  back  down.

thud. 

james  slams  his  palm  against  the  countertop  causing  the  untouched  cup  of  coffee  to  shake.  "what the hell are we doing? no, i'm serious. we're fighting for what here exactly?"

based on this meme post.

windblown hair, mud and grass stains painting and daubing his ruddy cheeks, james can't seem to keep himself from grinning ear to ear as he lets his broomstick fall to the ground with a muted thud. he's out of breath, lungs burning with each heave of his chest. godric's hollow had been hit with a month long cold snap, but that had done absolutely nothing to dissuade the potter men from taking to the skies for a little one on one quidditch.

"grow a couple hundred feet and i might just take you up on that offer," james says through a chuckle, refusing to acknowledge that it comes out a little wheezy. try as he might, james wasn't sixteen anymore and keeping up with a son who was made that blindingly obvious.

he plops down on the damp grass without a second thought, his limbs aching for it. james resists the urge to sigh in relief as he draws his knees up, bracing his elbows on them. the corners of his mouth curl into another smile as his head tips in the direction of his son.