sounds of loss

my post world cup final thoughts are as follows one i want cucurella in the way giant ostriches have crushes on people i think and two what malanga leaf did they unwrap olmo from before putting him on the national team

i had 0 expectations going into this game but omfg ABSOLUTE FUCKING CINEMA

crashout situationship boytoy thing was a bit distant for a few days after we did a lot of ketamine and fucked like animals on sat night and then he started pestering me constantly asking if me or any of my friends want weed cause he's briefly getting into dealing before going to rehab soon (??) and when I said no not really he suddenly shifted gears and has invited me to go to the beach today where we can smoke together and he's currently in my messages asking if he can get changed under my towel cause he doesn't have anything and that he's acquired store brand 16kr sugar free energy drinks for us #princesstreatment

imo cucurella and ibrahimovic are the same genre of hot guy and this genre is also a direct circle overlap with the genre of the last like 3 french guys ive been flirting with and overall i think this is a step in a positive direction away from anemic blonds

I've been waking up at 6am and working like a dog for 12 days straight, the latter half of which was in a different country, I flew home tonight ran in took a shower ran back out to watch the game outdoors in torrential rain and now it's past 1am and I'm on my way to my crashout cokehead boytoys friend's place to like do coke and sleep with him I guess. Anyways.

had lunsj with my office buddies before heading off on a weeklong work thing it was very good the cafe on campus does a really good smæsjburger on their summertime lunsj meny

also late as fuck to this thought but whatever "don't do much talking" while passing around a fat blent??? are you sure you're not just unlikable cause I've got multiple strangers life stories in random little corners and alleyways just by agreeing to join them to hit that thang

in my rational mind I know ivory and coast are just two regular english words but in my actual mind that I live in I see elfenbenskysten vs norge in the world cup livestream and I'm like ok so they're just dropping fresh countries on us with no warning

last night I was in the packed tiny black metal bar that's always 2000 degrees and my post shower body oil was melting off me and I was drenched in sweat sliding off the damn booth in my shorts and I was one beer and 3 vodka sodas in and decided to send a text along the lines of it would be really nice to see you again I really enjoyed hanging out with you and now this morning I woke up like fuggggggg too much vulnerability I gotta kill myself now

isn't it crazy how you can have one single one night fling type thing that genuinely rewires your brain cause no one has ever kissed you or handled you like that before ever and it's not like the sample size is small right I'll make out with strangers in the street but something about this was insanely different intense passion and like not even having to talk just reading each others minds and you stay thinking about it for ages but turns out he lowkey regrets it cause it was what made him realize he can't really do casual sex stuff like that and it would be infinitely too insane to be like well it doesn't have to be casual I'm willing to try if you are cause there's genuinely no way in hell you two could ever be together due to a number of different circumstances outside both of your control incl but not limited to distance but you can't get it out of your head and you've even had other ones since and no new one is hitting the same as that one did and you've been casually messaging at the rate of like a dm a week since around christmas but only surface level jokey stuff and then you find out your work is gonna send you back over there in the autumn and you mention this and receive no real enthusiasm at the news just a joke about the professor you work with and language classes but the conversation continues and you think we'll surely he could so easily just never reply or block me even if he doesn't want to talk to me I'm surely not pressuring him into a prolonged chat with a really overbearing intense annoying woman he can make his own decisions but because everyone you've ever fallen for has been kinda spectrummy it's impossible to tell anything and all you really wanna do is say it would be really nice to see you again when I go back without it being pressuring or too much or cringe or horrible or whatever but you're too pussy and all you can do is just pine over what could have been. anyways I'll be fine 🤪

made some new friends over the weekend while I was out with a violently peeling nasty fresh tattoo and was like yeah I got it last Wednesday with the money I got from the state recompensation for victims of violent crimes thing and then obvio had to explain that entire situation and they were like omg what you fucking chased him you're insane I love it and then one was like it's cool you used the money to get a giant tiger tattoo as well cause you're like the tiger lady and I was like you know ✊🥲 you're right.......