Sfawtde- Daisy bloom au oneshot #2
(For more information about the au check out my other post)
(This one is lazy :p)
Derek sat in his wheelchair, his arms resting at the armrests by his sides, head tilted a bit lower, facing the surface of the wooden table. It looked like he was 'staring' at it- even if his eyes were a bit unfocused than usually. It was just one of those days when his body wasn't really cooperating with his mind, so Derek didn't really notice when he zoned out.
He was already quite familiar with the whispers in his head, so much that he became kind of oblivious to them; he had heard them so many times he got used to it- like the sound of Rain tapping against the Windows at night - it's a bother at first, but before you know it, you can't fall asleep without it - Weird.
But today the whispers were louder, and there was most definitely more of them, more voices speaking. They overlapped on eachother, gradually creating an unpleasant, constant static. Buzzing, almost. Or maybe the static was a state he created to escape from the whispers. He prefered for his mind to be..numb. as much as this was possible. Sometimes he counted in his mind to get it occupied with something else and not get lost in the static. The highest number he'd reached so far is 4293.
The sound of a bowl being placed down on the table in front of him and a feeling of presence (not intimidating one, to his suprise) brought him back from...wherever he was with his thoughts. The whispers stopped like a door slammed shut.
Avery gently grabbed Derek's hand, put a spoon in it, and put the tips of his fingers on the edge of the bowl so Derek could feel around it and at least know where everything was located. Avery then sat next to him, on the same side of the table.
'...thank you..'
Derek said after sighing, gripping the spoon loosely.
Avery was used to 'taking care' of Derek. he just wanted to make sure he was alright, there was No pity Or unnecesary babying in his actions.
That why he decided to give him soup- something light at first ; He didn't want to have derek throwing up later. He was still recovering, after all.
Now here's the thing. It took derek much longer to eat- Or to raise the spoon at all.
Derek wanted to eat, he really did. He was hungry and he could feel it. However, there was also a voice inside his head that said:
'You don't deserve to eat. Such a luxury is far beyond what you deserve.'
It wasn't just a voice- it also limited his psychical abilities. So derek felt that he was hungry, and that he wanted to eat, but that was it. No action was taken, like there was something (or someone) stopping his brain from cooperating with his body. He couldn't move his hand to take the spoon and eat the soup himself, no matter how hard he 'tried' to. His fingers didn't even twitch.
Avery seemed to notice it- a worried frown showing on his face.
He opened his mough to speak, to ask 'do you want me to help you?" But looks like Derek already had an answer.
'Give me a moment, i've got this..'
He mumbled. Avery knew how stubborn Derek was when it came to any kind of help- he probably felt terrible and humiliated sitting on a wheelchair right now, because his legs gave out.
Derek obviously didn't want to make himself look weak in front of Avery. No matter the countless times Avery told him that he didn't mind, that it was okay, that he was still recovering from it all and it would be better for him to take his time. He loved derek a lot, after all, and didn't want him to get himself hurt even more.
(Like that one time derek insisted he was able to walk to the toilet on his own and 'didn't need his crutches', so he ended up...on the floor.)
Avery wanted to believe him, but as time passed, and Derek still didn't move his hand, he decided to speak up.
'...are you sure? You know i don't mind.'
He said, but not in a 'oh, you're disabled so i have to baby you' kind of way, but 'i don't want you to struggle alone because I love you' kind of way.
Derek thought for a moment. Sure, hated feeling this weak in front of him, but ehat choice did he have...? He was hungry.
Derek didn't say anything, just slolwy nodded his head, telling Avery that he needed help- but he would never say it out loud.
Avery took the spoon from Derek's hand, held the bowl in the other, scooped some of the liquid up and held it to Derek's lips.
He didn't need any kind of a command, just opened his mouth, waited for Avery to put the spoon in it and closed his jaw.
While Avery prepared another spoon, Derek held the liquid in his mouth maybe a bit more than it was needed. Avery got a bit concerned that Derek was disabled to the point he couldn't swallow on his own.
Derek gulped the soup down, a bit heavier than usually, and grunted a softly, as if the liquid burned his throat. Maybe it did, considering Derek wasn't used to normal food- he was 'fed' through an IV drip for the past month (or was it a year? He'd lost the scence of time.)
Derek was almosy glad he was blind, because such an emberassing scene would definitely make him look like a toddler.
So derek Ate, slowly but surely ate. Spoon after spoon until there was so soup left.
'There you go..'
Avery stated softly with a smile, although being carefull not to make his voice too soft. He wanted to say so many more things- that he was proud of Derek for eating, that he liked taking care of his boyfriend, that he loved him a lot...but he knew that derek wouldn't like those kind of comments. He probably knew what Avery wanted to say, anyway.
Avery just put the bowl back down on the table and leaned in to softly kiss Derek on the temple. His face..softened, for sure, but it wasn't quite a smile yet- he just wasn't frowning anymore, of course he enjoyed his affection.
Avery grabbed the bowl, stood up and began to walk back to the kitchen to wash it, but derek stopped him.
'...you don't have to do this, you know.. '
He mumbled.
Well that was just stupid- what did he mean by that?
'Hm? Oh, but i do have to, don't be silly.'
Avery answered, turning his back to face him, and smiled, then walked to the kitchen.
Derek didn't say anything more. He was broken, claimed himself to be a lost cause a long time ago, so he didn't understand.
At least he had someone who loved him and made him feel like he was worth taking care of. Like something that was worth fixing.
Literally how Avery saw Derek in this
